Some days I just don’t feel like it. Whatever I am doing feels as though I am just going through the motions. I am on auto-pilot. There is a distinct lack of interest in what I am doing. I wonder sometimes how I manage to get through the day. Did you ever take a car journey and wondered how you managed to get from ‘A’ to ‘B’? You have no real recollection of the journey but you managed somehow to get to your destination. I have days just like that. I turn into bed and think, ‘What happened’? There are times when I am ill and of course don’t feel like doing anything. Quite often I cannot anyhow. That is understandable when one is ill but not when one is healthy. However I still get days like that. I wrote some time ago about not being bothered on occasion and this is somewhat of a similar trait. I suppose it could just be a rebellious reaction to routine or a depressed wish to do something different for a change. A routine lifestyle is beneficial in many ways because it brings a sense of security but it is sometimes very boring. When I am aware of my affliction I try to snap out of it but I am not always successful. I carry on going through the motions because it seems a need, a stabilising influence on my life and a necessary thing to do. What else would I be doing?
Shirley Anne
