Minkyweasel World

One Girl's Outlook On Life

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It’s raining

Posted by Shirley Anne on January 26, 2011

Yesterday it rained. Sounds a bit daft does that statement I suppose, especially when it is Winter in England or any other time in England for that matter! I mention it because we have just been through quite a few days of dry and still weather, however, they say February is the wettest and usually the coldest month of the year and that is just around the corner. I welcome the rain at this time of year because whilst it is raining it isn’t snowing! Heavy rain prevents working in the garden though and I, that is E and I have lots to do out there over the next couple of months. On my free days from work I have the opportunity to do some of that work but not if it is raining. I can turn to jobs around the house for there are plenty of those to do also but the outside work is more important just now.

It’s raining in my heart too. When we write posts on our blogs some of us write about life’s troubles as they affect us personally. I tend not to do that usually but at the same time I could write volumes if I wished to, although if you read some of my poems you will see how life has been unkind to me at times. Many of those poems relate to personal experience. People reading my ramblings may be under the impression that all is always ‘hunky-dorey’ in my life when often it isn’t. I am not alone, most people have problems in their lives and I’m no exception. I put on a happy face to the world when often I am hurting inside. I hurt because E is a difficult person to live with at times but I still love her. I hurt because she needs salvation. I hurt because she is stubborn and inflexible and won’t listen to reason sometimes. I hurt when people hurt me but I don’t retaliate, I pray for them. I hurt because of the selfishness of some people. I hurt because of all the needless suffering on the world. I hurt because of the bigotry and hate towards others for no real reason. I hurt because of mans inhumanity to man………………It’s raining in my heart and I hurt inside.

Shirley Anne

Posted in Happiness, Life, Love, People | Tagged: , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Peace on earth…………..

Posted by Shirley Anne on January 1, 2011

This year come 27th January I will have known E for 38 years and have lived with her for thirty-six and a half of them. We married 18 months after we met. Which means we know each other pretty well. I loved E from the beginning and that hasn’t changed despite all I have been through in our relationship. Oh there have been good times, wonderfully good times but there have been bad times too. Isn’t that the way for any marriage? I digress. Half-way through our marriage E became very ‘cold’ toward me and try as I might to resolve the problem it stayed that way. She would have good moments followed by bad ones and I was the recipient of her antagonism when she had these mood swings. There was no real reason for them, no medical reason that is. My live was often hell and I was treated like a leper sometimes. I persevered though because I loved her and felt sure she would see sense eventually. She didn’t and it led to our divorce. I had given up my whole life for her and denied myself a lifelong ambition to transition. I made up my mind to fully transition about six years before we divorced and did so three years before that event. For a while after the divorce we hardly spoke to each other but I couldn’t bear  the atmosphere and did something about it. We had planned to sell up and move apart but those plans didn’t bear fruit and we agreed to stay together about three years ago. It works well and we get on very well now strangely enough. I have gone all out to please her and to give her what she wants, materially speaking. She knows that I love her, she has always known that, she has told me many times in the past. However she cannot stop treating me badly occasionally and I suppose I will never understand why. A few days ago she accused me of something, which wasn’t true by the way and I told her so and asked why she says such things. At this moment in time we are not speaking again! E has what you might call an abrasive side, she seems to delight in rubbing folk up the wrong way, she has a very short fuse too and is bad tempered! If you remember the old nursery rhyme, ‘when she was good, she was very, very good but when she was bad she was horrid’, that describes E to a ‘T’. The other morning I came down for breakfast and she was already up. She had finished breakfast and was watching the tv we have in the dining room. I wished her a good morning and she just grunted. I continued to prepare my breakfast whilst trying to chat with her. She didn’t wish to know. Why she is like that I have no idea. She wonders why I avoid her sometimes. Yesterday I treated myself to a few bottles of lager we have in the fridge and felt so miserable I decided to visit the pub. It was around nine in the evening and I had no intentions of staying there all night for the new year celebrations as I do not celebrate the occasion, I simply had to get out of the house for a while. The pub was packed with people enjoying themselves and I went straight to the bar and ordered my drink. Within minutes I had all sorts of people come up to me and give me a big hug, my friends. They asked why they hadn’t seen me there for a while. I made no excuses and told them I don’t bother going to the pub as often these days. They were all pleased to see me anyhow. I guess there must have been around thirty or forty hugs from my friends. After an hour or so I left and came back home. I’d had more drink than I wanted and was drunk! After a snack I went to bed and don’t remember much until six when I needed the toilet. I guess I was in bed by 11 o’clock and asleep by five past! I am having a rest today (sabbath) and intend to do nothing at all. E still isn’t speaking to me but I know that will change soon so I won’t press it. Peace on earth and goodwill toward all men (and women)? Yes but only when it suits some people it seems.

Shirley Anne

Posted in Behaviour, Friendship, Love, Relationships | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Don’t they ever give it a rest?

Posted by Shirley Anne on December 27, 2010

I was watching some tv on Christmas day. I had very little else to do. During the programs of course I was obliged to listen to the adverts if I forgot to mute the sound. I hate adverts and don’t take note of the messages they are supposed to be relaying. Anyhow they are there I suppose through necessity. Today, the 27th, is the official date for Boxing Day here in the UK. Boxing Day usually follows directly after Christmas Day but because there was an intervening Sunday this year it got deferred to Monday. No matter. However, on Christmas day out came the adverts alerting us to the wonderful bargains to be had on Boxing Day. This year I suppose it is more relevent as our beloved government has decreed that the value-added-tax VAT (purchase tax) is increasing from 17.5% to 20% meaning that all purchases will now cost more. Personally I think all our monies should be given straight to the government so they can spend it all on more useless things like war. Anything we might want for ourselves would then be provided by them………..yeah in your dreams! They take so much from us and waste so much it is criminal. Getting back to adverts, wouldn’t you think they would give it a rest for at least the one day? No way Hosea! It shows me that this world rotates on money, its values are all wrong. Whilst it is important that economies need to be healthy, one day off shouldn’t make a difference, should it? Our world , that is the people living in it, have all their priorities in the wrong order. According to the song, the world rotates on love but this is far from the truth. This world lacks love as it lacks the truth. The first question that is asked by people is ‘What is the truth’? Well if they need to ask the question they obviously don’t know the answer. I will promote love as long as I have life and I have life as long as I know the truth and follow it. Give the adverts a rest for a day? No way! Well that is the way of things for those who lack an understanding……………..

Shirley Anne

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I was just looking

Posted by Shirley Anne on December 24, 2010

I was just looking at my site stats and discovered that somebody had viewed something I posted last year just before Christmas. I re-read the article and was reminded how much my views on Christmas had changed since I wrote it twelve months ago. Times change and so do personal outlooks, although in this case it was a rather rapid change by normal standards. We live and we learn, or we should be doing so. Most of the things I do in life and have done throughout my life I have never questioned; I simply plodded on blindly like everyone else and gave not much thought to what I was doing. Take Christmas presents for instance, I was too engrossed in the buying and what to buy that I was missing the whole point. There isn’t really a need to go out and buy everyone you know a Christmas present; you wouldn’t buy them a present at any other time in the year except maybe on the anniversary of their birth, although why we think we need to do even that is a mystery. Of course we are simply following traditions laid down by those before us. Like sheep we follow without question. It would be nicer to receive a present from somebody ‘out of the blue’, unexpectedly, without it being on a ‘special’ occasion. Now wouldn’t that be wonderful? Totally unexpected and from their heart showing just how much we were loved. The giving and receiving of presents at Christmas is not the same thing, people give and if not openly, they secretly hope they will get one in return, which defeats the object. The best present anyone could receive is that of the knowledge that somebody has paid the penalty for all their sins and that person is Jesus. Yes God loved us so much that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but shall have eternal life. (John 3:16). Like all presents, they do not belong to the recipient until the recipient opens them. What is the point in having a gift that you never open? So although the above verse is for everybody, no matter who, the gift isn’t theirs until they open the box!

I was speaking about how much my views on Christmas have changed in just twelve months but better than that, how much my whole life has changed since I ‘opened the box’ and took out my present. So if you are opening presents at this time of year, remember there is a present to beat all presents waiting for you to open it.

Lots of love to all my readers, known and unknown and those I suspect just wish to remain anonymous………….Bless you all

Shirley Anne xxx

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Go on do something useful in this ‘season of goodwill’…..

Posted by Shirley Anne on December 23, 2010

So it is the season of goodwill to all men……….Mmm I wonder. It is one thing saying it but another actually getting ones’ finger out and doing it! As you all tuck into your lavish Christmas dinners with as much food that you can eat spare a thought for those who have nothing. You can do nothing better than to love your neighbour second to loving God so prove it and take the little two-minute questionnaire on your left. It will give some little child a meal and will cost you nothing but your two minutes………well?

Thank you to those who have responded

Shirley Anne

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Ailments and disorders

Posted by Shirley Anne on December 3, 2010

There isn’t one person living on this planet who is immune from ailments and disorders. Each one of us has at one point suffered an illness or a disorder of some sort. Some things are very minor whilst others can be debilitating or even life-threatening. We would all like to think ourselves perfect but none of us are. Even those who enjoy fairly good health get struck with something sometimes. Then there are those who suffer from mental or psychological problems, some of which may be mild but some severe in the extreme. Scientists glibly say that everything is in our genes and they are probably right. I guess you could then say well it is the luck of the draw. No illness is pleasant but it can be worse when others have little or so sympathy or worse still, no understanding. People who suffer an illness or other disorder are often rejected too. Not only can we be physically or psychologically impaired but we can be spiritually impaired too! Having the right attitude to those around us is important, even if it isn’t reciprocated; in fact it is probably more important. We are told in Scripture to love one another ‘even as I have loved you’, Jesus said. That love is the love that sees through each other’s faults be they physical or otherwise but how many of us would have it in us? Too many want to point the finger, ridicule, condemn,  and judge. The first rule is to look inward and correct the faults we see in ourselves before we pass judgement on others. Indeed no-one on this planet is perfect, we all suffer one form of ailment or disorder.

Shirley Anne

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All you need is love?

Posted by Shirley Anne on November 18, 2010

According to Lennon and McCartney that is but is it true? Nice sentiments  but is all you need love? Well I suppose it depends on what you mean by love, whose love? Yours? Somebody else’s? Does it matter? We go through life hoping and wishing we will find love. If we have been fortunate we will have had a loving environment as a child. Sadly not all children have that experience and for those people finding love can be really difficult because they may have no experience of what love is. I am talking about human love here. Is there any other kind? What exactly is love anyway? The Bible puts it this way:-

1 Corinthians 13……….

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  8 Love never fails…..etc

Yes I have mentioned this passage many times but there really is no better description of what true love is. It is certainly not sexual attraction nor is it encapsulated in any human feelings we may have toward one another or to one person in particular. If in our expression of love those things written above are manifest then we can say we really do love. Look at what is actually written. Love is patient. How impatient are you, especially with someone you profess to love? Love is kind. Are you kind to others? Love isn’t envious. Do you envy others? Love doesn’t boast. Do you boast and brag about the things you have or the things you do? I am not talking about mentioning those things that happen in your life but shouting it aloud in such a way as to make yourself appear more than you really are. Which brings us to the next point. Love isn’t proud. Being proud means elevating one’s self above others or being aloof to others or boasting too much about one’s achievements. Love never dishonours others, they can do that themselves. One of the greatest things about love is that it is unselfish, putting others first, being humble and unassuming. What else is love? Well it is not easily angered. Are you  quick to lose your temper? Do you hold a grudge against anyone? Some people will hold a grudge for years and it destroys them. Wouldn’t it be easier to let it go and forgive instead? Love doesn’t bear grudges so don’t say you love if you keep a grudge. What about the evil things in this life? Do they have a hold on you? Love will have nothing to do with evil , things but love and truth are close friends. Love is protective, trusting, always filled with hope and it perseveres. When all else fails, love lasts the course. The most amazing thing about love is that it never fails. That doesn’t mean that it is received by everyone for not everyone believes in love. To give love is to expect nothing in return but the best reason for doing it is the knowledge that you are doing the will of God.

So do you really love or are you just playing along with feelings?

Shirley Anne

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Bank account

Posted by Shirley Anne on November 10, 2010

Yesterday afternoon E and I drove the twelve miles north to a favourite restaurant and had our late lunch. Our favourite waitress was there and we thoroughly enjoyed the afternoon. She passed a comment about the expense of having children, she herself has three girls one of whom came to the restaurant with her own young son to collect ‘grandma’. I replied that we are walking bank accounts for our children and that they are always asking for something from us even when they’ve flown the nest! During our meal our youngest phoned and asked if we had a spare router for his Internet connection and he also wanted a couple of large scatter cushions that he knows we have. Doesn’t he earn money? LOL. I told him I had a new and unused spare router which he collected later when we were back home. He managed to take at least one cushion and then went downstairs to the cellar where we store some food in the old kitchen units we put there some years ago. Cellars, clean ones, come in very handy for cool storage! Anyhow he was seeing what he could take with him! He is cheeky but we don’t mind him taking the odd few things. It seems one is forever supporting one’s children but I guess that’s what love is all about.

Shirley Anne

Posted in Family, Love | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

She got her way…..

Posted by Shirley Anne on October 24, 2010

It was eight years ago on the 14th Oct. that I realised my dream of becoming a woman. Sounds a bit silly does that remark but what I mean is that my body became in-line with my already feminine brain! Leading up to that moment of triumph my marriage had been in tatters. You can read more in my pages above. For many years I was living in a sexless relationship and was merely being treated as somebody who was bringing in the wage. Don’t misunderstand me here, I know my ex. loves me but her problem was always one of not being able to show it, not just in a sexual way either. It was six years ago we divorced and a matter of only two years since we decided to continue living together in the same house. The house had been on the market for a few years and it wasn’t selling. One of the reasons for that of course was the recession. In a way it has proven fortunate for us both. She is relying on me more and more because of her physical condition and I think she would have found living alone difficult at times and getting worse as time went on. I love her dearly and I am happy to do things for her. To be honest it would have broken my heart to be completely separated from her. I am crying even now just writing those words! I couldn’t be more happy at this time. I think things work out as they are planned to do. I believe that the Father has intervened in my life. In many ways our life together hasn’t changed one bit, in fact most of what we had and what we did together remains just the same. Sex of course isn’t on the menu but it hasn’t been on the menu for years. She got her way in that respect as in many other ways too. Getting back to sex, well I don’t miss it, I don’t need it, I have better things going for me. Part of the transitioning process and following regime is the need to dilate one’s vagina. I followed the set pattern over the years but now I am not so strict with that regime, in fact I only do that once a week these days. I cannot see the point if intercourse is not going to happen. I am not interested anymore.

Shirley Anne

Posted in Life, Lifestyle, Love | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

This is why I am happy!

Posted by Shirley Anne on October 6, 2010

1 Peter 1 (New International Version)

 

1 Peter 1

 1Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ,
      To God‘s elect, strangers in the world, scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia, 2who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood:
      Grace and peace be yours in abundance.

Praise to God for a Living Hope

 3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

 10Concerning this salvation, the prophets, who spoke of the grace that was to come to you, searched intently and with the greatest care, 11trying to find out the time and circumstances to which the Spirit of Christ in them was pointing when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the glories that would follow. 12It was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves but you, when they spoke of the things that have now been told you by those who have preached the gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Even angels long to look into these things.

Be Holy

 13Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. 14As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. 15But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”[a]

 17Since you call on a Father who judges each man’s work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear. 18For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, 19but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 20He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. 21Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.

 22Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.[b] 23For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. 24For,
   ”All men are like grass,
      and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
   the grass withers and the flowers fall,
    25but the word of the Lord stands forever.”[c] And this is the word that was preached to you.

Footnotes:

  1. 1 Peter 1:16 Lev. 11:44,45; 19:2; 20:7
  2. 1 Peter 1:22 Some early manuscripts from a pure heart
  3. 1 Peter 1:25 Isaiah 40:6-8

 

New International Version (NIV)

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica

I and many others stand next to those to whom Peter was addressing. We (believers) are part of God’s family and his words are directed to us in this day just as when they were directed to those in days past. I love this passage of Scripture because it strengthens my faith.

Shirley Anne

Posted in Celebration, God, Love, Relationships, Religion | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

In Christ alone………

Posted by Shirley Anne on October 1, 2010

I simply love this song and the message it contains……..

In Christ Alone
Written by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend

___G____D______G______A
In Christ alone my hope is found
D/F#____G______A_________D
He is my light my strength my song
____G____D________G____A
This Cornerstone, this solid Ground
D/F#__________G______A_________D
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
_____D/F#____G_________D/F#_____A
What heights of love, what depths of peace
_____D/F#____G_________D/F#____A
When fears are stilled when strivings cease!
___G_____D____G___A
My Comforter my All in All
D/F#_____G______A_____D
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone! – who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This Gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid:
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
Till he returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand!

©2001 CCLI #3350395

——————————————

Shirley Anne

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A sense of loss.

Posted by Shirley Anne on July 23, 2010

Today has been somewhat different from days of late in that I have been quite busy at work. My first job was in an adjacent township about eight or nine miles away and was soon finished. The second job was back in my home town of Southport. This second job required me to drive past my old church building, something I do regularly but something I hadn’t done for a couple of weeks before today. I was shocked to see that half of the building has been demolished! It seems that the building is being completely demolished. The church office was always located in recent years, in an adjacent row of old houses and it is now up for sale. So the church has disbanded or moved to pastures new, I do not know which. The building itself was erected in the late 1800′s and it is a shame that such an old building should be demolished. I drove on to my job and past the place later for a last look on my way back home. I thought no more about it until now but I find that I am having deep feelings of loss. I spent about ten years as a member there and it was there that I was baptised by full immersion. I left the congregation almost twelve years ago now for personal reasons and at that time with tears. I never did find another fellowship and in a way I think that was meant to be because I have learned more about my faith and how I am supposed to live my life according to God’s will, something I now understand wasn’t possible in that church. Nevertheless I do feel a sense of loss, I think about my brothers and sisters and what has happened to them and what will happen to them. There are many things wrong in the Church, many wrong doctrines and practices and certainly wrong attitudes to God’s Word. I won’t preach here save to say the way is written in the Word but not many follow what is said there. However believers are all my brothers and sisters and I love them for it.

Shirley Anne

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Forgiveness

Posted by Shirley Anne on March 8, 2010

I was talking to somebody recently about forgiving people who come against you. I won’t go in to detail but this person had been let down for yet another time and was finding it difficult to forgive. Some situations and events with people are easy to forgive, some perhaps are not. If somebody steals from you, you might forgive them once but perhaps not if they do it again. Would you be able to forgive somebody for killing a friend or family member for instance? It is easy to say we can forgive but much harder to do it. According to Scripture we are supposed to forgive somebody who wrongs us not just once but every time they do. Now that is some command. The essence of forgiveness centres around our ability to humble ourselves and to always put the other person first. This is not to say that we should expose ourselves to a constant bombardment of wrongdoing against us. We should not but if we can get to the root cause of somebody’s problem we should offer help. Prevention is better than cure. I always say if you cannot forgive then don’t expect others to forgive you.

Shirley Anne

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Interaction

Posted by Shirley Anne on February 15, 2010

Come on now be honest, the reason you are here is because you wish to make contact with other people. That is commendable. We all need to connect with others if the truth be known. We start these blogs with the view that somebody will read them else what is the point? Having said that what do we do to attract them? The essential thing is being ourselves, no pretension, simply be who we are. If we are to connect with others we need openness and a readiness to meet with them no matter who they are or whatever views they have. We are all different and we should not expect others to think as we do. This world is full of self-opinionated people. People who find it difficult to accept the fact that they are unique and as such are different from everyone else around them are missing the point. Be ready for opposition and be ready to accept it. The main point of the exercise is to interact and connect with people. If you are not ready to do that and be humble, you waste your time. No person on this planet is an island. We need one another whether we think that is true or not. So let’s love one another, despite our differences.

Shirley Anne

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All around my hat.

Posted by Shirley Anne on January 15, 2010

‘All around my hat I will wear the green willow’ is a well known traditional song. I have this feeling today. I am wearing the ‘green willow’ but I am not sure why…………

All Around My Hat
(Trad)

All around my hat I will wear the green willow
All around my hat for a twelvemonth and a day
And if anyone should ask me the reason why I’m wearing it
It’s all for my true love who is far, far away

Fare thee well cold winter and fare thee well cold frost
Nothing have I gained but my own true love I’ve lost
I’ll sing and I’ll be merry when occasion I do see
He’s a false deluding young man, let him go farewell he

The other night he brought me a fine diamond ring
But he thought to have deprived me of a far better thing
But I being careful like lovers ought to be
He’s a false deluding young man, let him go farewell he

All around my hat I will wear the green willow
All around my hat for a twelvemonth and a day
And if anyone should ask me the reason why I’m wearing it
It’s all for my true love who is far, far away

Here’s a quarter pound of reason, and a half a pound of sense
A small sprig of time and as much of prudence
You mix them all together and you will plainly see
He’s a false deluding young man, let him go farewell he

All around my hat I will wear the green willow
All around my hat for a twelvemonth and a day
And if anyone should ask me the reason why I’m wearing it
It’s all for my true love who is far, far away

All around my hat I will wear the green willow
All around my hat for a twelvemonth and a day
And if anyone should ask me the reason why I’m wearing it
It’s all for my true love who is far, far away

All around my hat I will wear the green willow
All around my hat for a twelvemonth and a day
And if anyone should ask me the reason why I’m wearing it
It’s all for my true love who is far, far away.

Mmmmmmm…………….

Shirley Anne

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