Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category
Posted by Shirley Anne on April 19, 2013
Exponential loss (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I know that everyone in this world faces problems of one sort or another at times in their lives and I am no exception to that. Every problem has a solution, not that a problem suddenly disappears, though occasionally that might happen but if it cannot be resolved it must be dealt with in some other way. We can hide from or run away from our problems but that isn’t always a practical thing to do therefore the only thing we can do is face up to them and learn to live with them. I have learnt to live with the things I cannot fix in my life and I am not talking about material things, I am talking about relationships. Some people are easy to get along with, some are not and I have both in my life. Those I do not get along with I try to avoid but tolerate their presence when it is unavoidable and in such cases I have to be careful what I say or do, it’s called diplomacy! However there are those in my own family I sometimes have difficulty with too. I have always been wary of people and was never one to form close relationships until I met E, my former spouse. I loved her from the first time we met and although we are now divorced that remains true. The reasons we divorced are well documented in the pages above so I will not explain here. At one point we were going to go our separate ways but eventually decided to stay together under the same roof. Naturally the relationship we have is not as it once was but there is still a bond of love between us which keeps us together. It hasn’t always been easy living with E because of the way she treats me at times but I try to persevere just as I have always done. I could easily have left her years ago and I often wonder why I didn’t but then realise that I love her too much to be apart from her, even if it has to be the way it is between us. Our is an off and on sort of relationship, much like it has been for most of the years we’ve been together. What happens is this, everything is going well between us and we get along as people should but then her attitude suddenly changes because of something I have done which doesn’t meet with her approval. Now I am not talking about anything I am doing that is nasty but as an example I might pick up the guitar and play a song or two very quietly and she will deliberately make a noise trying to drown the music and then storm out of the room. If I happen to attempt speaking with her when she is watching television or doing things on her computer she makes it known that she is annoyed. I leave the room dejected as usual with my feelings hurt yet again. After a couple of days we are again on speaking terms for a couple of months and something else sets her off and I stay out-of-the-way once more. I never receive an apology but it is always me who heals the wounds between us. I sometimes think she will never change and maybe she won’t but I will never give up on her. I’m at a loss again. Once more I am mistreated, once more we are not speaking. Thoughts spinning around in my head again, not knowing what to do next as I have pretty much exhausted all avenues. All I have left in my ammunition box is love, it’s all I really need though.
Posted in Life, Love, Relationships | Tagged: Love, Relationship | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Shirley Anne on April 15, 2013
Bars of black Swiss Chocolate. From left to right: About 75% cacao; With chili; Normal black chocolate. Deutsch: Von links nach rechts: Hoher Kakaoanteil (um 75%), Mit Chili; Normale schwarze Schokolade.
As is my want I tend these days to dine out once a week if I have the time and it seems I am getting more of that lately. This past week E and I dined out on Tuesday and again on Wednesday just because I felt like it. E doesn’t need much persuasion by the way, which is a good thing. At our time in life what is the point of keeping the boat moored steadfastly to the quay? I didn’t receive a request for work for Thursday or Friday, though I have been asked to work on Monday and Tuesday this week. That meant I had nothing to do and the time was my own. E goes shopping for food on a Thursday and she takes along her mom who can no longer drive to the supermarket herself. That is in a way a bonus for me as I am not keen on shopping for food, only doing so if it is absolutely necessary. I like shopping for clothes and other things but not for groceries. So there we were both of us with nothing much to do on Friday so I mentioned to E that we hadn’t visited a certain eatery for quite some time and that maybe we should go there again soon. Before all of the words had left my mouth E chirped up with, ‘You want to go out don’t you’? She can read me like a kid’s comic. ‘Well’, I said, ‘Let me know if you fancy going out again’ and I left it with her. I had things to do on my computer and around an hour or more later she popped into the room where I was sitting and told me she was going to get ready, meaning she wanted to go for a meal as suggested. E is like that, often never saying things in a direct way but I’ve known her for 41 years now and nothing escapes my understanding of her. She knows me that well too. During her shopping spree she had purchased a bar of dark chocolate by way of a treat for me as she knows I love the stuff. She had placed it in the refrigerator without my knowledge and that same evening, I don’t know what it was but I suddenly felt the desire to eat some dark chocolate and thought to myself that I would buy some the next day. When I mentioned it to E she surprised me by telling me that she had bought some earlier knowing that I liked it. What a coincidence! Either she had a premonition or it was one of those unexplained things that just happen now and then. How lovely of her to have thought about me when she was out shopping. Getting back to Friday, we did go out again to that place and had a lovely afternoon and this time pushing the boat out further than we normally do by having three courses instead of our usual two! Very bad habit to get into I must say, especially if watching the calories and three times in the one week! We finished eating around four o’clock and I ate nothing else until 10.30 the next day, Saturday. I was woken by a telephone call just before 8 o’clock and couldn’t go back to sleep. I wouldn’t mind but the caller didn’t answer my response. I learned later that she had mis-dialed the number and called me by mistake. She was in fact the lady whose job I am doing on Monday. I got up, got dressed for running and went downstairs to spend some time on the treadmill. After a short time I finally got dressed for the day and ate some fruit around 11 o’clock. I wasn’t particularly hungry but I usually find that after doing some exercise. It was after 1 o’clock before I had a proper meal.
Posted in Dining out, Exercise, Lifestyle, Relationships | Tagged: Chocolate, Dining out, Exercise, Food, Relationship | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Shirley Anne on February 25, 2013
Don’t want your empty promises
Don’t want a pack of lies
Don’t want your sexy pictures
They only make me cry.
Don’t want you ‘cos you’re lonely
Don’t want your luggage too
Don’t want your hoards of children
I want just only you.
Don’t want a one night stand love
Don’t want a quick fix trip
Don’t want a hollow feeling
I want relationship.
Don’t want a loveless partner
Don’t want a frozen heart
Don’t want to feel rejection
I want a lasting love.
Copyright Shirley Anne 19 Dec 03
Most people want to fall in love and be happy with their partner in a mutually loving relationship but not everyone has those dreams fulfilled do they? Everything may start off right and things go pleasantly for a while then somehow it all goes down the pan with broken hearts and dreams following on behind. When looking for a lasting life relationship we certainly don’t want somebody who’s qualities match those listed in the poem above do we?
Posted in Love, Relationships, Values | Tagged: Love, Relationship, Romance | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Shirley Anne on December 6, 2012
The last time I ate out was on my birthday, which was 21 November, two weeks ago but it was a spur of the moment thing, I hadn’t planned it. I had been working during the morning and simply didn’t wish to cook at home so on the way home I stopped by my local pub and had a nice dinner there. Usually I treat E to a meal out once and occasionally twice a week but she and I are not on speaking terms yet again. I don’t wish to say anything nasty about E but she does have her moments! It is all about the way she treats me sometimes, like I shouldn’t disturb her when I wish to speak with her or show her something. She has never been one to talk much, especially to me and it used to drive me mad that we couldn’t hold down a discussion about anything except the affairs of day-to-day life. It was an intellectual wasteland, a desert, nothing ever seemed to be of interest to her. I found my life very empty and devoid of any intellectual companionship. I have tried so many times to engage her in meaningful conversation but to no avail. Even when we dine out together I find it hard to talk about any subject knowing she will give me that certain look which says ‘Stop boring me’ if I try. About three weeks ago I wanted to show her something on my computer, not something I do often, in fact I do so very rarely. If she had laser vision like ‘Superwoman‘ my brain would now be burned to a frazzle after the piercing look she gave me! It was that look again! I bowed out of the room feeling rather dejected yet again. I have not spoken to her since. It is such a shame she acts this way with me because I am very loving toward her and often show it. It wasn’t that long ago that we were reconciled after a few months of not speaking to one another for similar reasons. It is always me who breaks the ice, as long as I’ve known her it was never she. I don’t have many friends and those I do have are not close at hand. The family members have all but isolated themselves too, except for my youngest brother none of them bother contacting me. So life at home is pretty much boring most of the time and I feel so isolated because of her attitude toward me. I yearn company and companionship which is why I go to the pub and why I keep trying with E. There may come a time when I won’t bother any more but after 40 years who am I kidding? I think I deserve better.
Posted in Love, Relationships | Tagged: Companionship, Friendship, Love, Relationship | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Shirley Anne on November 13, 2012
English: A protester attends a pride parade in Ottawa, with a sign with a quotation from 1 Corinthians. Several neo-pagans express their amusement. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
In February of 1989 I became a Christian. The subsequent change in me was dramatic, I was indeed a new creation. The commemorative verse given to me by the pastor of the church where I was baptised was 2 Corinthians 5:17 ‘ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!’ The pastor had no idea that I had written a poem around that verse and neither did he know that I was presenting it as part of my testimony to the church. Furthermore I received a congratulatory card from a friend in which was printed the same verse although she had no idea I was using the same verse in my testimonial presentation either. This meant that my previous life of selfishness, drinking and using foul language together with a host of many more unsavoury attitudes and afflictions simply melted away. I had been born again. This is in fact what the phrase means. My life changed for the better and I grew in my faith. However, as I live in the real world too I was still subject to its temptations and over time I have to confess to giving in to some of them. I didn’t fall away from God or my beliefs but I did wander a little off the straight and narrow path. Since I left my last fellowship in 1998 I have actually grown in my understanding but it was also during this time that I found myself picking up bad habits too. One of those habits was drinking alcohol. I was never one to over-indulge but drinking did have an affect upon me by rendering me less capable than I ought to be but that is what it does, it is a drug. I am constantly renewing my faith and my relationship with God and by His Holy Spirit am reminded of my shortcomings. Last year I wrote a song entitled ‘I’m coming home dear Father’
I’m comin’ home dear Father
I’m comin’ back to you
I’ve done my share of roamin’
And I was so lonesome it’s true.
Wandered from you for a season
For I thought that I would win through
But without your love to guide me
I would just be empty and blue.
Copyright Shirley Anne 2 Oct 2011
It is a song where I am telling God that I am coming back home from my meanderings from Him, a bit like the story of the prodigal son who realised the error in his ways and turned back to his father. I have allowed the sins of this world to overtake me on occasion but now I have come to my senses and have returned to my former love. God has never deserted me, He has never left my side, no, it was me who wandered off and now I realise where I should be. No more alcohol, no more trying to make excuses for my behaviour or trying to justify myself. There is only one way and I am back on that road now. I was created a new being when I came to Christ, I have to remember that fact and keep up the good fight. I must strive to keep the ways of the world at bay. I am no longer my own for I have been bought at a price, I belong to Jesus.
- Blessed Beyond Recognition (freshwind-ministries.org)
- Clean and Loyal Hearts: Psalm 51:10-11 (psalmslife.com)
- New Creation (purpleanchors.wordpress.com)
Posted in Behaviour, Christianity, Gods love, Gods love through Jesus, Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit, Relationships, Sin, Well-being | Tagged: Christ, Christian, Christianity, God, HolySpirit, Jesus, Pastor, Second Epistle to the Corinthians, Sin | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Shirley Anne on October 18, 2012
Lumber (Photo credit: °Florian)
I don’t often go shopping with E which is just as well, she confuses me sometimes. On the rare occasions we find ourselves shopping for food I am told, ‘you don’t need that’ or ‘we have some at home’ and if I do pick something I want as a treat to myself she shows that she does not approve. It doesn’t matter whether I am paying for it or not either. I think she partly resents me being with her when she is shopping for food and that I am incapable of making decisions on what to buy. If I select something she might say, ‘that’s too expensive’, even though I am prepared to pay the price! The strange thing is she often buys things in the weekly shop that we don’t really need. Now shopping for clothes is a completely new ball game. I have taken her with me on occasion when buying clothes, partly for her opinion and partly because I might be treating her to some new clothes which I have done a few times in the past. Asking E her opinion is a little pointless for we do not share the same tastes in clothes. Not to be unkind to her I think I have a better dress sense but sometimes I just want a second opinion. On Monday afternoon I decided to buy the materials I will need to fill in the void above the new roller-shutter door that was fitted a few weeks ago. I drew out a plan on paper and measured the space to be filled then decided how much timber I would need to do the job. E came with me to the builders merchant. Now I had it in mind what dimensions of wood I would need but unfortunately the width I wanted is now no longer supplied which meant two pieces would be needed on one section to make up the dimension required which was 300 mm. We settled on one at 200 mm and the other at 100 mm width to make up the 300 mm required. I also needed another length at 200 mm along with timber to make battens to connect everything together. The guy serving us was very patient and he measured the timber and cut it to length for us. However, E in her usual way started to question why I had asked for two lengths of timber at 200 mm but when I reminded her why it was needed she maintained that I was wrong and the guy was left standing waiting for a decision. Even after I had explained things to her it still didn’t sink in. In the confusion the guy ended up cutting two pieces of 100 mm width timber too when I really only wanted one at that width! I bought it anyway so as not to confuse the poor guy any further as the cost was minimal. I don’t know why I take E with me when purchasing anything as she often causes unnecessary confusion and contradicts what I say but then my trips out would be a lot more boring wouldn’t they? I love her to bits but she drives me nuts sometimes!
Posted in Behaviour, DIY, Fun, Relationships, Shopping | Tagged: Construction and Maintenance, Fun, Lumber, Materials and Supplies, Relationship, Shopping | 5 Comments »
Posted by Shirley Anne on October 15, 2012
Sirloin steak, served with garlic butter and french fries. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I treated E to a one day’s belated birthday meal on Friday, her birthday (anniversary of) was on Thursday but she had been invited to dinner by her sister and her mom so couldn’t dine with me. I suppose the ideal would have been dining together with them but I fear that wasn’t possible as I am sure they haven’t yet accepted me after ten years. No matter. Although I treat E to meals out she does the driving. It works well for me as I like a drink with my meals but she doesn’t drink these days, partly because she never was one to drink much and now her medication prevents her doing so. Occasionally she might have a drink at home but that is a rare event too and is always limited to a small glass of Bailey’s or something similar. I on the other hand can drink a full bottle of red wine with no problem. We drove to a place some 12 miles away, a place we often visit but this time we arrived in the early evening as opposed to the middle of the afternoon as we are usually inclined to do. The management of this establishment changed last year and as far as I am concerned, for the better. It is one of those places that has made the conversion from a pub that sold food to a restaurant that doubles as a pub. Whereas before we would find a table then place an order at the bar and later paying the bill in the same way, now it has full waiter/waitress service as you would expect from a restaurant. The menu has changed of course but that is usual anyway and will change again as they see fit, but that too is usual for a restaurant. I have never had a problem in the past with the food that is served as a rule except for one or two minor things. On Friday however the sirloin steak I ordered was a little tough and was served on a cold plate. I didn’t create a fuss over that, it was edible and I was hungry. I suppose I should have called the waitress to complain but that is not my style unless the food is exceptionally bad. Later, when we had finished that course, the waitress approached to see if everything was all right. I told her that the steak had been a little tough and that the plate had been cold, as was E’s plate. She apologised and we left it at that. We ordered dessert, which was unusual for us because we both had a starter course and don’t usually have both a starter and a dessert but we were pushing the boat out as a treat for E. When the meal was over E had a coffee but I still had wine to finish, then we asked for the bill. When we saw the bill we noticed that we hadn’t been charged for my dessert nor for E’s coffee by way of recompense for a poorly presented steak. We thanked the waitress for we hadn’t expected such a response. Our time together was good and E had me in stitches with laughter with some of the things she said. More importantly she had an enjoyable time too, after all it was for her benefit but then it always is when I treat her.
Posted in Celebration, Drink, Family, Food, Laughter, Relationships | Tagged: Celebration, Dessert, Drink, Friday, Meal, Relationship, Restaurant, Sirloin steak, Steak, Waiting staff | 2 Comments »
Posted by Shirley Anne on October 10, 2012
All You Can Eat sushi (Photo credit: Malingering)
Last week E and I dined out again for the first time in over six months. On Monday we dined out again. We hadn’t been exactly on speaking terms for a while and whilst there are still issues I couldn’t let those spoilt our otherwise good relationship any longer. I still hope they can be resolved. It can be expensive dining out or it can be quite inexpensive depending on where we eat. If we go to a carvery the meals themselves are reasonably inexpensive but if we go to a restaurant of course it can cost far more. Generally speaking we spend, or rather I spend, anything between £30 to almost £50 depending on whether I buy a bottle of wine or not. Even so the drinks can be expensive especially some of the soft drinks we sometimes buy. At these prices we can only dine out once a week but occasionally we do so twice, it all depends on how much work I get or if I decide not to save as much each month. Tomorrow will be E’s birthday and we may go out for an evening meal to mark the occasion as opposed to the many day excursions we normally take when dining out. It is nice to be able to afford eating out at least sometimes, eating at home is far cheaper but not as much fun. Well we’ve got to spend the money on something, it’s no use it lying around in a bank!
Posted in Enjoyment, Relationships | Tagged: Drink, Eating, Food, Fun, Relationship | 2 Comments »
Posted by Shirley Anne on September 5, 2012
Love heart uidaodjsdsew (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
What feelings do you have for me
When I am with you and can feel
The closeness of your body next to mine?
Your breath as sweet as honey dew
When I am in your arms it’s true
Has broken down resistance in my heart.
Your kisses soft upon my lips
And all your loving tenderness
Makes me reveal my eargerness for you.
So your love I reciprocate
For turning back is now too late
I want you more and more each passing day.
If I could have you for my own
I’d tell the world and make it known
How very much in love with you I am.
So if your love is really true
There’s nothing else that you can do
But stay with me and never let me go.
My love for you is very strong
And I know that it can’t be wrong
To love you as I do, you must agree.
But it would really break my heart
If ever we were pulled apart
And never more to share the love we have.
O lover, how I love you so
My love grows stronger and I know
That you’re forever now a part of me.
Copyright Shirley Anne 10 July 03
I remember it very well, the excitement, the passion and the love. It was a time for letting go and submitting to my inmost feelings and allowing myself to be immersed in the intimacy that lovers enjoy together. Sadly those days have long since gone. All that remains are memories of better times. My heart was broken, my feelings were hurt and the love didn’t last, well the physical side of it didn’t last. In my youth I was never interested in love or sex in the slightest and relationships were furthest from my mind. Then love took me by surprise and lasted a while but it didn’t stay the course. Now I have come full circle and that lack of interest returned a few years ago. I was dwelling on my lost love when I wrote the poem above.
- My Problems With ‘Love’ (clearhaven.wordpress.com)
Posted in Love, Relationships | Tagged: Intimate relationship, Love, Passion, Poetry, Relationship, Romance | 2 Comments »
Posted by Shirley Anne on August 29, 2012
I sit alone within my room
The day is long, the day is gloom
I fear to speak less I’m put down
And all is quiet, not a sound.
Do I deserve such punishment
When all I need’s a little love?
Is there no cure, is there no hope
For someone with a heart of stone?
Sometimes I wonder why I stay
Believing it will change one day,
And all I do is sit and cry
As time relentlessly goes by.
Copyright Shirley Anne 25 Jan 2011
Don’t Stop Believing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
This is one of many poems I’ve written that relate directly to myself. The many poems in the pages above do not all relate to me as they were written during better times in my life. Some of them were inspired by the experiences of others, whilst some are not connected in any way to anyone. I am a very sensitive person and can easily be hurt. The only thing that keeps me going and living in hope is my relationship with God. With God I know I am truly loved, with people, well that is another matter isn’t it? Sometimes I feel trapped in my circumstances. My ex and I are still somewhat estranged even though we share the same home. The above poem and others like it are a means of expressing my feelings. I live in the hope that things will change as I am an optimist. If I moved away would I be happier? Probably not but even if I wanted to I couldn’t in today’s climate. We had difficulty in selling the house when things were better but now that we are still in a deep recession there is no chance of selling up unless the price was dropped dramatically, which isn’t really a viable option for many reasons. In any case I do not want to move just to have my own space, I have that already! That’s the beauty of a large house, we can get lost in it! My relationship with my ex has always been problematical due to her stubbornness and oft-times refusal to talk about issues. You only have to read my story or some of the more recent of my posts on here to get an idea of what I am saying. I do love her and I suppose that is the only reason I stay and put up with it all. Am I trapped? Well probably but there is always hope isn’t there?
- What is my crime? (sruthidevan.wordpress.com)
Posted in Family, Happiness, Life, Love, Mood, Relationships | Tagged: Family, Home, Love, Poetry, Relationships | 2 Comments »
Posted by Shirley Anne on July 28, 2012
I’ve known ‘J’ now for just over thirteen and a half years. We met one evening in a bar in Manchester’s ‘gay’ district, or The Gay Village as it is often called. J and I were transsexuals who met with other transgendered people each week for a night out. J stopped going out there a few months before I did. I was about to undergo my operation and she was embarking on a university course for computer studies. I had been going to Manchester for almost three years and returned there but twice following my operation. J was in denial regarding her gender dysphoria, although I am not certain she was aware of it at the time. We still kept in touch and in more recent times, say the last five years or so she has been invited to family gatherings and meals out as our friend. She gained her university degree after a few years hard work and determination. When she started to visit with us a couple of years ago she confided in me that she was now accepting her gender issues and was intent on going through with the full transition and all that entails. She is making good progress on her journey but the main stumbling block is our country’s NHS system putting too many obstacles in the way. Earlier in the year J left her parents home where she had been living and moved to the south coast at the invitation of a girl called ‘M’ who had just undergone her own operation. J now lives in the same apartment as M. I last saw J a few months ago when she invited me out to her archery club social evening, the last one she would be attending before moving away. She got in touch with me last week saying she would be coming back this way to collect some things from her parents house and at the same time dropping M off in Manchester. M has business interests there. J asked if she could stop over at my house for the evening else she would have to find a room in a hotel. She is always welcome here and has stopped over a few times before. There was no way I would refuse her. So it was she came over. The idea was to go out for a meal and she had been trying to contact me to see if I wanted to eat out. Originally she was to arrive around 5.30 but it was almost three hours later before she did. As we had failed to connect over the phone she decided to eat out alone on the way over! I have to say at this point I was hungry and would have gone out with her. After a couple of hours not hearing from her I grabbed a bite to eat knowing that it would be too late to go out for a meal but not knowing that she was dining out. Never mind, that’s life sometimes. When she did arrive we drank the bottle of red wine she had brought with her. I had already drunk a bottle during the afternoon and early evening! We had a good chat together and caught up on things before she needed to hit the sack. The driving and the high humidity had taken it out of her so she was looking forward to some rest and sleep. J and M are in the picture which is distorted to hide everyone’s identity.
A few of my readers may remember the story I told recently about my son and his wife who were having their first child ‘Christened’. They didn’t know what to do about inviting me along because of the attitude of some members of my family toward me. When they were married I wasn’t invited to the wedding for the same reason and it broke my heart. I wouldn’t speak to them for many months afterward. It appears they have done the same thing again and had the baby Christened without my knowledge of the date. Now J had spoken with E, my ex, whilst she was here and later let it slip to me that the baby had been Christened already. Evidently E had mentioned it. E and I haven’t been on speaking terms for months because of the way she treats me sometimes and it turns out it was E who had raised objections to my presence at the wedding. It doesn’t take much imagination to work out who objected to my presence at the Christening does it? It’s funny how the truth is exposed or more to the point the wickedness of others, even those close to you. I love E dearly but it is extremely difficult living with someone who can be so nasty at times.
J had a good night’s sleep and after a tiny breakfast of melon and tea made her way to the shops en route to her parents house to collect her things and to take her sister out into Liverpool to see a movie before heading to Manchester to collect M and drive back south. I messed about on the computer, had my lunch and took the mile and a half walk into town to visit the banks to deposit some cash before returning directly home. Just as I arrived E was leaving to do the weekly shopping trip with her mom. Not a word was said.
Posted in Family, Friendship, People, Relationships | Tagged: Family, Friendship, Relationship | 4 Comments »
Posted by Shirley Anne on June 9, 2012
Marriage Day (Photo credit: Fikra)
Sounds a very odd thing to say but I am referring to a situation that speaks openly to me that things are not going to work out for someone I met recently. A couple of months ago I met two people, a man and a woman, in the pub whilst partaking in the weekly quiz there. They live quite close to the pub but I had never seen them in there before. I don’t think they ever did visit before but perhaps the man had. The much younger woman has been living with the older man for a couple of months and they plan to get married in a couple of months time. On that first meeting I was invited to their house after the pub had closed and we had a great time together. Since then I have seen them but twice, once at the pub and once when I was invited to chat over a coffee by the woman who now considers me a friend. It was at this second visit when the man was still at work, that I discovered certain things that raised alarm bells. She confided in me and told me that she was having second thoughts about the marriage. A little history here: She had previously confided in me and told me that she had been married once before and had been very badly treated. She told me that she had been raped and beaten when younger and I seem to remember her saying she was beaten by her husband. I don’t know the complete story but I can tell she has had a very hard time in the past. She is quite a timid person, probably as a result of her past and when she confided in me she kept her voice down in case her new ‘boyfriend’ heard what she was saying. I think she is frightened of him and what he is capable of doing to her. She told me she used to live in a flat (apartment) in Derbyshire and has only lived in this location for a short time. A few weeks ago she had an accident after a night out, tripping over the cat she broke her arm which is still healing. When I went to see her a week ago she had the remnants of a black eye, her face was now partly bruised. Naturally I asked how it happened and she told me that her future husband had done it! Now I don’t wish to be judgemental here but I have noticed what kind of man he was during the brief times we’ve been together. I find him to be possessive and controlling. When he arrived home on the day I was visiting with her I could sense his pent-up feelings and attitude toward her. He made remarks concerning the wine she had poured for herself and I could tell that he had something on his chest that he wanted to discuss with her. I felt awkward thinking he wanted me out of the house so that he could have a go at her. I didn’t leave until a half-hour later. It isn’t my place to interfere but I did let her know my feelings about her situation and her proposed marriage to this man. I think she is attracted to the money and the house he has and the fact that he treats her well, forgetting that he treats her badly too! I advised her to think hard about what she intends to do. All I can do is watch from afar but I hope she makes the right decision and doesn’t end up worse than she was in the past. I just know what is going to happen and can’t do anything about it.
Posted in Friendship, Relationships | Tagged: Marriage, Relationships | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Shirley Anne on June 8, 2012
English: Neges Gristnogol Ffair Cricieth – Criccieth Fair Christian Message Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. A message on the Christian bookshop at 813796 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Many times I have heard people who profess to have been a Christian and either started to believe in something else or lost all faith in anything of a ‘religious’ nature. My belief in this matter is that they were never Christians in the first place for anyone who has been filled with The Spirit cannot subsequently turn away and one needs to have been filled with The Spirit to proclaim ‘Jesus is Lord‘
1 Corinthians 12:3
Therefore I tell you that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.
What I am saying is that those who say they were Christians would have to have declared that Jesus is Lord and have believed it in their hearts. To turn away from Jesus is to turn away from salvation for Jesus said that those who are ashamed of him will they themselves be denied at the Judgement.
If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.”
If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.
So denying Jesus is Lord is denying entry into Heaven. Turning to another faith is not the answer for there is no other name given to man by which we are saved
Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.”
Understanding Christianity is understanding that Jesus died for our sins, it is understanding that he alone has made it possible for us to unite with God our Father so why turn away from that and think there is another way to Heaven?
Some people say that there are many ways to heaven but God says differently. Who are you going to believe, yourself or God? How can there be many ways into Heaven when God says there is but one way and that is through Jesus Christ? If you knew that as a Christian how then can you change your mind? In doing so you are calling God a liar and His love is not in you for it is through His mercy that we can be saved
New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)
8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith —and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.
It is God’s gift to you and it is free. All you have to do is believe in Him and in the one he sent, Jesus. Not in anything else for elsewhere He says
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
What could be simpler? Forget your false beliefs, your false doctrines, your false ideologies, your false ideas, your false worship of human beings and what they say. Put all your trust in GOD ALONE THROUGH JESUS CHRIST ALONE for there isn’t another way. No sayings attributed to Buddha, Mohammed, Krishna, Gandhi, or any human being no matter how sincere they may be will make any difference to your destiny. Put no faith in them but put your faith and trust in Jesus. If you do that you will know how wrong you’ve been and salvation will be yours.
Posted in God, Gods love, Gods love through Jesus, Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit, Relationships, Religion, Salvation, Wisdom | Tagged: Christian, God, God the Father, Heaven, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Jesus Christ, Lord, Relationship | 1 Comment »
Posted by Shirley Anne on May 30, 2012
Friendship-001 (Photo credit: Ludie Cochrane)
I’ve been feeling quite lonesome lately. I can feel lonely in a room full of people. It is the closeness of another that wards off my loneliness and I don’t necessarily mean a romantic closeness. People who take the time for me and what goes on in my life are those I cherish the most and they are my family and my friends. So it was on Sunday that a friend of mine invited me out to dinner at a restaurant she and I and some of my family have frequented in the past. She wouldn’t let me pay for anything. Now I like to pay my way and I wouldn’t allow her to pay for anything whenever she was my guest but this time she insisted that it was her turn to treat me for a change. We hadn’t seen each other for more than 14 months so we had some catching up to do. My friend arrived on time and we drove the ten or twelve miles to the restaurant. Many folk were sitting outside in the sunshine but we chose to eat indoors where it was much cooler and where there were no flies challenging us for our food! One thing I hate about eating out-of-doors is having to cope with flies. When at home having a barbecue it isn’t quite so bad as the smoke keeps the blighters at bay. We had a lovely meal and a really enjoyable couple of hours together. Later I asked if she would like to visit my local pub, it was her local too until she moved to her present location some fifteen miles or so away. We each had a soft drink and sat inside out of the heat. A guy I’d met on Thursday night came over for a chat and the three of us had a few laughs together. Actually it was he who was making us laugh! My friend wanted to go home to do some laundry and prepare for work in the morning so we didn’t stay there very long. I got home to an empty house, E had gone out for the afternoon, probably to a barbecue although she didn’t tell me that, I just assumed she had. I hadn’t mentioned that my friend, and her friend too, was coming over but she’d gone out before my friend arrived. She probably thought I’d been at home all afternoon but I most probably would have been at the pub had I not made other arrangements with my friend. My friend suggested we get together more often, when we can of course, after all I am not her only friend! As I write this late on Sunday evening I am feeling less lonely and it is all due to the kindness and friendship of a wonderful friend.
Posted in Friendship, Relationships | Tagged: Friends, Friendship | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Shirley Anne on May 29, 2012
Heartbreak Hotel Restaurant (Photo credit: Thomas Hawk)
Saturday was another very hot and sunny day. I got up early and went for a run on my treadmill. My treadmill is in one of the rooms in the cellar (basement) but so is the hot water and central heating boiler! As it is now warm every day the central heating is inoperative but the boiler still comes on to maintain a hot water supply to our storage tank upstairs. The room gets warm of course but not as warm as it does in the winter months when the boiler is running for many hours in the day. If it gets too hot I can open the door leading to the garden and it becomes much cooler. Anyhow I digress. I did my stint on the treadmill and then went out into the garden and sat on the patio to cool off. After returning indoors and getting dressed I had a late breakfast which doubled as my lunch. I had nothing to do in the afternoon so I raised the canopy over the table in the patio and sat there all afternoon drinking red wine and listening to the radio, switching between Radio 2 and Radio 1, later Classic FM. I don’t much listen to pop music these days but I needed cheering up. I quite enjoyed the old songs they had been playing and they brought back to mind some lovely memories of the days when I first heard them many years ago. I felt really happy and relaxed but at the same time a little lonely. The genre began to change from happy-clappy to romantic love songs and it was then that I found myself crying involuntarily in response to the words. I needed to go indoors to visit the toilet and discovered that E had left the house, probably to visit her mother and that left me alone with no-one else at home. It often happens of course and under normal circumstances it means nothing but at this time when I was feeling so lonely with no-one to talk to it made me feel even more so. A song by Brian Ferry was playing when I returned to the garden, a love song and then more love songs by other artists the names of whom escape me now as I write this on Sunday morning. I was now being reminded of the fact that I was a member of Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, a visitor to Heartbreak Hotel, a Lonely Girl (lonely and blue) and all alone in the big wide world. I made a call to one of my friends, Jane, whom I hadn’t seen for a couple of months and who now has moved to another part of the country. I just wanted to know how she was and that all was well with her. She is managing ok it seems which I am so grateful for as she hasn’t had an easy ride lately. It was later in the evening when another friend, Lotte, called to let me know when she will be coming to see me today (Sunday) when we will be driving somewhere for a meal together. We have lots to chat about as we haven’t seen each other for 14 months or so. She had been on an extended tour in the far east for three months and on her return was busy settling in to her old job with some extra responsibilities. She had been busy finding somewhere to live too, thankfully she found somewhere nice. It’s funny how friends and family drift apart sometimes but we all have our lives to live haven’t we? For me, friends are most important and I make every effort to maintain contact with them. Family are a different matter aren’t they? They say you can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family! I love them all though, family and friends alike whether they reciprocate or not. A friend to me is a friend for life, a family member a cherished blood relative I could never reject. As it is though I see very little of any of them and that is why I get lonely sometimes. So here’s to my family and my friends…..I love you all
Posted in Celebration, Drink, Family, Friendship, Love, Relationships | Tagged: Family, Friendship, Heartbreak Hotel, Love, Music | 2 Comments »
Posted by Shirley Anne on May 7, 2012
free love (Photo credit: london_ally)
Many years ago we had what was called the summer of love when, supposedly, the younger generations subscribed to demonstrating love toward everyone they met and to ‘free love‘. ‘Free love’ however, was simply an excuse to engage in promiscuous sexual intercourse for many. The idea of love, love, love did not last and the movement eventually faded into insignificance. Most people would advocate the promotion of love but in real terms find it hard to demonstrate it in their own lives. Many religious leaders teach us to love each other and many philosophies encourage the same to the extent of attracting followers to such ideologies and religions. There is nothing wrong in that but the question I have is why don’t people place their faith and trust in the originator of love rather than some religion or philosophy that advocates it? People will believe anything else rather than have a belief in God. God commands us to love Him first and foremost and then to love our fellow-man but man wants to elevate himself and disregard God. Mankind makes the false assumption that we can achieve peace on earth and goodwill toward all men through our own efforts but in fact we fail at every turn. It is one thing having a belief in some philosophical ideology or to follow the teachings of ‘a good man’ whoever he may be but an entirely different thing to place your hope in God. God came amongst us in the flesh. Jesus Christ is our only real hope, no-one else comes anywhere near, no matter how ‘good’ they may be. Salvation is but through one name and that is Jesus Christ. Why? Because Jesus has paid the price for all of our sins and turning away from God. Which would you rather have, a nice human philosophy, a religion, an ideology, another human being to follow, faith in our own capabilities or some other thing or would you rather know your creator God and know the real love He has for you demonstrated in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ? Why place your hope in anything else? When you die your spirit will be in the presence of God, nowhere else. You don’t reincarnate and occupy another body, you don’t magically jump to another level having earned the right whilst here on earth, no, you face the God who created you. Be prepared, accept His gift of everlasting life by accepting Jesus Christ as your saviour. Repent of all your superstitious beliefs and faith in anything or anyone else because your future in eternity depends upon it! Real free love is found in no other place.
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Posted in God, Jesus, Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit, Relationships, Religion | Tagged: Christ, Christianity, God, Jesus Christ, Philosophy, Salvation | 2 Comments »