Minkyweasel World

One Girl's Outlook On Life

Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Old aquaintances

Posted by Shirley Anne on December 15, 2011

Intimate

Image by jbelluch via Flickr

On Monday evening I got called out to a little emergency job in town, an elderly (90) woman had lost electrical supply to a few circuits in her apartment and was desperate to have it fixed. I knew before I went what the problem was and was proved right when I got there. A table lamp bulb had blown which caused one of the two RCD units to trip, switching off power to half of the apartment. The distribution board would have been out of her reach even if she knew how to reset it. I ran this by her before deciding I had to go and do it myself. I got back home and just wanted to relax. I had eaten my evening meal prior to that call and just wanted a quiet evening. I have been suffering with pains in my back (feels like lumbago) for a couple of days so I was not in the mood for much activity, although I have been doing some electrical work. The house phone rang and then stopped. I checked 1471 to see who it was but they’d concealed their number. It rang again after a few minutes and someone asked for me by name. Thinking it was a request to do some work I answered that it was me they were asking for. My name is listed on my advertisement and cards so people often ask to speak with Shirley Anne and it is nothing unusual. It was a mans voice and he gave his name. It didn’t ring any bells so he asked if I remembered him. Then it dawned on me that this guy was somebody I had met some ten years ago and at that time he took a great interest in me, I think you know what I mean. However I rejected his advances but accepted him as a friend. He reluctantly accepted that I wasn’t interested in anything more than friendship. We met occasionally in the clubs in Manchester and once or twice he came to visit me. I must point out here that there is a 32 year gap between us and I felt a little uncomfortable with that at the time we were together. When he began to shower me with gifts I knew he couldn’t be satisfied with just friendship and I felt he wanted to go further. I broke off the relationship and he was hurt by that but I figured all would be ok and he would get over me. Well he had to. Now another thing I ought to mention (up till now I didn’t want to say) is that when we met this guy was in the early stages of FtM transition. This had no bearing on our friendship or my decision to break it off, it was simply that I didn’t want a sexual relationship with anyone at that time. So here he is calling me ten years down the line and making tentative steps in rekindling our friendship. I was a bit taken aback but I still do not wish to meet up again even though it could be harmless. He was keen to tell me about his operations and how much he had changed but it was all falling on deaf ears. I am simply not interested. I told him this several times but I am wondering if he will get the message. Why would anyone keep my telephone number for ten years knowing that I had broken off our friendship if he didn’t still have an interest? I feel that if I allow him back into my life I shall never be able to get rid of him. Hopefully he will respect my wishes and accept the fact that he is barking up the wrong tree.

Shirley Anne

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Ten years ago

Posted by Shirley Anne on December 4, 2011

The Three Graces, Liverpool as seen from the M...

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It was around this time ten years ago that I decided to go for full transition. I had been out for three years to all my new friends and some others but not to my family although by this time they were aware of my dressing. I started the ball rolling by making an appointment with a laser clinic in Liverpool and the first session I think was on 19th December that year, 2001. I had much more to do and to make decisions about and all of that is recorded in one of my pages above so I won’t go into detail here. As soon as the Christmas and New year celebrations were over I set about doing what I had to do and I then had the daunting task of telling my wife and family. That too is detailed in my page above. I am in my tenth year now as a fully transitioned female and although many things have changed about me I remain just the same inside. The real me, my spirit, the person writing down all of this is the same one that used to play in the street with other children sixty years ago, who went to school, who was bullied, who made something of a life, got married had children, got divorced and is still plodding along as best she can. Yes, nothing has changed inside for me over the last ten years or even over the last sixty-six years but the outside has changed dramatically. I live my life differently in some respects than I did ten years ago but the basics remain the same. I sit here reflecting on what has happened in my life and I wonder if I could have made a difference to the way things turned out. Probably yes, I could have but would it have made any real difference to me, the person inside? To the outside world we change, we fit in or we adjust so that we are happy with life. With me, ten years ago I had to make another of those changes so that I could remain happy. In doing that though made changes to other things, not least of all relationships. Not my marriage, that had died five or six years earlier and for other reasons but relationships with others did change in some cases. I never had many friends throughout my life. When I was young I had one friend but I moved house and we lost contact. He tried to re-establish that friendship some seven years or so later but I wasn’t interested, I had become very anti-social. From that point onward I never had friends by my own choice until I got married when we both shared the new friends we had made during the previous two years. Again, we moved on and lost those friends due to the pressures of life. When we divorced I had no friends apart from the one girl I had met in Spring of 1999 whilst out socialising as Shirley Anne. We have remained friends ever since but we don’t see much of each other now. Other friends either live too far away or have dropped off the radar. My family is dispersed and for the most part out of contact. I wrote a letter to one of my sisters some weeks ago but she couldn’t be bothered to write back. My children have flown the nest and I get to see them quite often but fleetingly. Basically I have nobody at all except my ex who for the moment is not very close at all. Am I better off now than when I was ten years ago? In some ways absolutely! In other ways no! That’s life and try as I may to change things it doesn’t always mean that it will improve. A happy and sad Shirley Anne at the same time.

Shirley Anne

Posted in Family, Friendship, Life, Philosophy, Relationships, Time, Transsexual, Values | Tagged: , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Sometimes I feel closer to you

Posted by Shirley Anne on November 20, 2011

social (sciences)

Image by Paolo Margari via Flickr

Sometimes I feel closer to you. Yes you dear reader! I get quite lonely sometimes. My family is spread afar, my sisters live in another country, my brothers live reasonably close but I only see one of them and that only occasionally. The other brother might as well be on another planet as he has pretty much alienated himself from the rest of us. Both my parents died years ago. My sons, well one lives with his wife, naturally, the other has taken it upon himself to leave recently to live in his mate’s house. My ex and I are not on speaking terms right now and the only friends I have either live outside of this country or too far to be regular visitors. I am not looking for sympathy here by the way, no but I just point to the fact that those I’ve ‘met’ through blogging give me more of their time than those supposedly closer to me! One way of looking at it, a philosophical approach would be to say things will improve or I’ll die first! I am not taking bets on this one….LOL I remain as ever cheerful and never do I get depressed. I am a strong person in that respect but I also have a ‘live-in helper’. I think you know what I mean by that but if you don’t then look at my ‘religious’ posts. I have a lot of time on my hands these days, not much work to do in a professional capacity and the domestic situation is on hold untill I feel inclined to move on it. I could be tempted to fall into bad habits but I fight against it all of the time, my trips to the pub have taken a back seat but that is more to do with my lack of interest than anything else. Another aspect of my personality that you may not be aware of is that I have always been what people call ‘a loner’. I’ve never enjoyed being one of the crowd, going with the flow, doing what others do sort of person but I do nevertheless enjoy conversation and mixing socially. I suppose in these situations I feel more in control, having the choice of walking away rather than feeling obliged. It may have resulted me in not having  a lot of ‘mates’ but then I was never ’one of the boys’ now was I?

Shirley Anne

Posted in Friendship, Life, Lifestyle, Philosophy, Relationships | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

No other way…….

Posted by Shirley Anne on November 8, 2011

Salvation (The Cranberries song)

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Many times I have written about salvation and the route to it and I will continue to do this as long as I take breath so I make no excuses for doing that here. This blog isn’t dedicated to my writing about God but occasionally I will do so. I have another blog (http://www.minkyweaselsmusings.blogspot.com) which I now dedicate entirely to that theme. I read many other people’s blogs and often their thoughts on what they believe about God (for those that do believe) and I have to say that their ideas about God, Jesus, heaven are far removed from what is written in Scripture. I wonder then where exactly do they get their ideas from? On what basis are they placing all their trust and hope for it surely isn’t what God Himself says. Below is a chapter from one of the books in the New Testament and in it are two verses which show just what it means to be saved and more importantly how to be saved (verses 9-10). Read the chapter and see how it compares with your own view then be honest with yourself and think again whether your plan to be at one with God is the right way or does God’s word change that view?

Romans 10

1 Brothers and sisters, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for the Israelites is that they may be saved. 2 For I can testify about them that they are zealous for God, but their zeal is not based on knowledge. 3 Since they did not know the righteousness of God and sought to establish their own, they did not submit to God’s righteousness. 4Christ is the culmination of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes.

5 Moses writes this about the righteousness that is by the law: “The person who does these things will live by them.”[a] 6 But the righteousness that is by faith says: “Do not say in your heart, ‘Who will ascend into heaven?’”[b] (that is, to bring Christ down) 7 “or ‘Who will descend into the deep?’”[c] (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). 8 But what does it say? “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,”[d] that is, the message concerning faith that we proclaim: 9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. 11 As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.”[e] 12 For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13 for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”[f]

14 How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? 15 And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”[g]

16 But not all the Israelites accepted the good news. For Isaiah says, “Lord, who has believed our message?”[h] 17 Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ. 18But I ask: Did they not hear? Of course they did:

“Their voice has gone out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.”[i]

19Again I ask: Did Israel not understand? First, Moses says,

“I will make you envious by those who are not a nation;
I will make you angry by a nation that has no understanding.”[j]

20And Isaiah boldly says,

“I was found by those who did not seek me;
I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me.”[k]

21But concerning Israel he says,

“All day long I have held out my hands
to a disobedient and obstinate people.”[l]

Footnotes:
    1. Romans 10:5 Lev. 18:5
    2. Romans 10:6 Deut. 30:12
    3. Romans 10:7 Deut. 30:13
    4. Romans 10:8 Deut. 30:14
    5. Romans 10:11 Isaiah 28:16 (see Septuagint)
    6. Romans 10:13 Joel 2:32
    7. Romans 10:15 Isaiah 52:7
    8. Romans 10:16 Isaiah 53:1
    9. Romans 10:18 Psalm 19:4
    10. Romans 10:19 Deut. 32:21
    11. Romans 10:20 Isaiah 65:1
    12. Romans 10:21 Isaiah 65:2

New International Version (NIV)

Copyright ©  1973, 1978, 1984, 2011  by Biblica

Reading the whole Book of Romans will open your eyes to many things……..

Shirley Anne

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Bridget Jones Syndrome

Posted by Shirley Anne on November 2, 2011

Cover of "Bridget Jones - The Edge of Rea...

Cover via Amazon

Another repeat on television of the Bridget Jones Diaries was aired on television on Friday last. This one was The Edge of Reason. I simply had to watch it because Bridget is a heroine of mine. I like the actress too, Renée Zelweger. She epitomizes what I think is a real woman, down to earth, nothing false, maybe a little zany but absolutely adorable. Too many women in my mind are not real in the sense that they act naturally. Bridget shows us that being just ones’ self is always enough. It may sound like I have lesbian tendencies here but if that was a fact then I could do no better than to fall in love with Bridget but I fear it would be in vain as she rejected such advances in the film! Wonderful! Throughout the film I found myself laughing and crying with her and feeling all the things that she was experiencing in her struggle to create an impression. The very fact that she was undergoing many embarrassing situations made her all the more attractive. I particularly enjoy the scenes where she is imprisoned and walks in with a stiff upper lip declaring that she is a British journalist but no-one is taking any notice of her. Eventually she wins them over and becomes the most popular inmate in the prison! Throughout the film she is battling with two aspects of her morality, enjoying the advances of on the one hand a deeply loving and romantic lover (Colin Firth) and struggling with the advances of another a guy who seemingly just wants to bed her (Hugh Grant). She is attracted to them both but it is more because she wants the attention than anything else. It made no difference that I had seen the film a few times previously, I was still thrilled with it. In many ways I am like Bridget, a little zany, a little quirky but still lovable in my own way, or at least that’s what I am told. Take my local pub for instance, whenever I am absent for a long time people ask where I have been and I have been told that I am loved by some of the regulars there, which is so nice to hear. I too struggle in my life just as Bridget does but maybe for different reasons, or maybe not. All I ever wanted in life was to be loved and accepted and I guess that was the thrust in Bridget’s story. I will call it The Bridget Jones Syndrome and I believe many of us have it.

Shirley Anne

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No compromise

Posted by Shirley Anne on September 1, 2011

Church of God (Cleveland, Tennessee)

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I am fed up reading what people say about God when they don’t even know Him. He is described by some as being ‘the great energy’, ‘the essence’, ‘the mighty force’ all kinds of names which all may true of His nature but God is spirit, He is not some remote being that we can only imagine in our thoughts, one that cannot be known on a personal level, He is the Almighty, the Creator and He can be known. He is the Father of all mankind, He is your Father if you believe in Him and put all your faith and trust in Him AND in the One He sent……Jesus the Christ, the Messiah, the Saviour. God wants us to know Him, He wants a relationship with each one of us and to prove He loves us He gave His only begotten Son as a sacrifice, a payment for all of our sins. He offers the free gift of a life everlasting if we repent of our ways and accept His gift but like any gift that is presented to us it doesn’t become ours until we take it. We have to repent and accept Jesus’ sacrifice by accepting Him as our Saviour for salvation is through Christ Jesus. The Bible tells us that Jesus is THE ONLY WAY to God, there is no other way, no religion, no other faith or belief, half-truths, false doctrines, false gods, or any other thing that can be substituted for what God has done for us through His Son, Jesus. Call God by whatever name you wish but you must have this relationship with Him, through Jesus or else there is nothing to look forward to. Gods word tells us that those who believe in Jesus as their personal Saviour and have accepted Him will be resurrected to life eternal,

Revelation 5: 9-10 speaking of Jesus (The Lamb)

“You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals,because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased for God persons from every tribe and language and people and nation.10 You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth.”

Notice, they will reign on Earth. What happens after the thousand years on Earth isn’t told.

And here in Revelation 7

The Great Multitude in White Robes

9 After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. 10And they cried out in a loud voice:

Salvation belongs to our God,
who sits on the throne,
and to the Lamb.”

11 All the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures. They fell down on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, 12saying:

“Amen!
Praise and glory
and wisdom and thanks and honor
and power and strength
be to our God for ever and ever.
Amen!”

13Then one of the elders asked me, “These in white robes—who are they, and where did they come from?”

14I answered, “Sir, you know.”

And he said, “These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. 15Therefore,

“they are before the throne of God
and serve him day and night in his temple;
and he who sits on the throne
will shelter them with his presence.
16 ‘Never again will they hunger;
never again will they thirst.
The sun will not beat down on them,’
nor any scorching heat.
17 For the Lamb at the center of the throne
will be their shepherd;
‘he will lead them to springs of living water.’
‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.’ ”

These are those who have placed their hope and trust in Jesus now, in their mortal lives.

For those who are alive when the time of the end is here and still do not repent, God in His word says this..

Revelation 9

1 The fifth angel sounded his trumpet, and I saw a star that had fallen from the sky to the earth. The star was given the key to the shaft of the Abyss. 2 When he opened the Abyss, smoke rose from it like the smoke from a gigantic furnace. The sun and sky were darkened by the smoke from the Abyss. 3 And out of the smoke locusts came down on the earth and were given power like that of scorpions of the earth. 4 They were told not to harm the grass of the earth or any plant or tree, but only those people who did not have the seal of God on their foreheads. 5 They were not allowed to kill them but only to torture them for five months. And the agony they suffered was like that of the sting of a scorpion when it strikes. 6During those days people will seek death but will not find it; they will long to die, but death will elude them.

7 The locusts looked like horses prepared for battle. On their heads they wore something like crowns of gold, and their faces resembled human faces. 8 Their hair was like women’s hair, and their teeth were like lions’ teeth. 9 They had breastplates like breastplates of iron, and the sound of their wings was like the thundering of many horses and chariots rushing into battle. 10 They had tails with stingers, like scorpions, and in their tails they had power to torment people for five months. 11They had as king over them the angel of the Abyss, whose name in Hebrew is Abaddon and in Greek is Apollyon (that is, Destroyer).

12The first woe is past; two other woes are yet to come.

13 The sixth angel sounded his trumpet, and I heard a voice coming from the four horns of the golden altar that is before God. 14 It said to the sixth angel who had the trumpet, “Release the four angels who are bound at the great river Euphrates.” 15 And the four angels who had been kept ready for this very hour and day and month and year were released to kill a third of mankind. 16The number of the mounted troops was twice ten thousand times ten thousand. I heard their number.

17 The horses and riders I saw in my vision looked like this: Their breastplates were fiery red, dark blue, and yellow as sulfur. The heads of the horses resembled the heads of lions, and out of their mouths came fire, smoke and sulfur. 18 A third of mankind was killed by the three plagues of fire, smoke and sulfur that came out of their mouths. 19The power of the horses was in their mouths and in their tails; for their tails were like snakes, having heads with which they inflict injury.

20 The rest of mankind who were not killed by these plagues still did not repent of the work of their hands; they did not stop worshiping demons, and idols of gold, silver, bronze, stone and wood—idols that cannot see or hear or walk. 21 Nor did they repent of their murders, their magic arts, their sexual immorality or their thefts.

Notice especially the last few words…..

There can be no compromise, we cannot afford not to listen, we must not think that just because God loves us all he loves the things we do or the things we believe about Him. God IS a loving god but He is also a God who judges. He sets the rules and if we follow His way He is ready to forgive us our sinful ways. We cannot assume our lives and lifestyles are acceptable to God if they do not conform to His commandments and laws which are the source of righteous morality. May God bless us as we reach out in true repentance.

Shirley Anne

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I’m crying

Posted by Shirley Anne on August 9, 2011

New Testament, Old Testament

Image by thousandshipz via Flickr

I am sitting here crying. I have lots of reasons for crying, everyday things connected with relationships, respect, the sins of society, the attitudes of others, oh many things make me cry. This time though my tears are tears of joy. Have you ever cried because you were happy or because you were touched by some compassionate incident? Sometimes I even cry when listening to music! I was reading some articles in relation to Christianity and it’s stance against homosexuality, not those who engage in it but the condition itself. The Bible has strong views regarding homosexuality which can be found in both the New Testament and the Old Testament. Activists will be quick to point out that things found in the Old Testament do not necessarily apply today even if they find those writings to be untrue anyway. It is true that some of the laws as written in the Old Testament do not apply today because they were specific to the life and times of the day and were a matter of civil law. However the laws regarding sexual behaviour are a matter of moral law and do not change with the passage of time so those laws as written in the Old Testament and subsequently in the New Testament are very much still relevent today. It wasn’t this subject or anything about it that opened the floodgates in my eyes though, it was the reassurance I felt of Gods love and forgiveness when we repent. There is no difference between a Christian and anyone else for we are all sinners every one of us. A person can only claim to be a Christian when they repent of their sins and continually strive against the sin in their lives. Whilst I was reading more on this subject through reading about homosexuality and other things, I realised how much God loves me, loves us all. It’s the sin He hates, not the perpetrator. So if we don’t repent we condemn ourselves. I am crying because God loves me.

Shirley Anne

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Where’s God in all this?

Posted by Shirley Anne on August 4, 2011

Blame: Who is responsible? Not me!

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Life on this planet gets progressively worse. Stabbings, shootings, murders of all kinds, robbery, burglary, assault, intimidation, fraud, drunkenness, debauchery, sexual violence, sexual deviation, pornography and much more go on all around us every day. Some of you reading this will perhaps know of these things first-hand and may even participate in some of them! Well I don’t know for certain who browses my blog save those who tell me. We hear of disasters on a monumental scale, some natural and some brought about by mankind. Wars, uprisings and volatile situations between nations never cease, one ends and another begins. People will blame anyone but themselves for the state of this world. How many times have you heard, ‘Where is God in all of this’? Or, ‘Why doesn’t God intervene’? Loved ones die and we blame God for not doing something about it. The amazing thing here is that those who blame God don’t know Him, they don’t believe in Him, yet they still blame Him. As they say in the US, ‘go figure’. Yes, you might well say go figure (that one out). The sad fact is that people can witness things with their eyes yet still remain blind! They cannot experience God for they have shut Him out of their lives and no amount of explanation or teaching will convince them otherwise. For anyone who doesn’t believe that men have walked upon the Moon it is impossible to tell them otherwise. No amount of pictures, interviews with astronauts, pieces of evidence brought back will convince the unbeliever for they have made their minds up. It is just the same with God, no amount of witnesses, miracles and other evidence will convince the unbeliever of His existence. Yet the evidence is all around them, they simply cannot see or reason and they are blind to the truth. Did you ever wonder why atheists vehemently deny God? What motivates them? Many consider God to be an imposition on their lifestyle, they do not want to be shown that what they do is wrong because they don’t think what they do is wrong. They do not know God for if they did they would not be so liberal with their lives and what they do with it. To know God is to know true love, perfect love and perfect love casts out all fear. We can live in this wicked world in the knowledge and comfort of a relationship with God. When we walk in His ways (and I know none of us do that fully) we can be sure of His presence and even His input into our lives as His will dictates. When we know God personally through Jesus Christ we have a relationship with Him. He has become our Father and we have a bond that cannot be broken. For those who complain that God isn’t there when they need Him I say get into a relationship with Him first and then you’ll know if He’s there or not. Your heart has to be willing, you need to be sincere for God to respond but He will and His promises are true. Want to know where God is? He is right there beside you, waiting……………..

Shirley Anne

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Why?

Posted by Shirley Anne on July 29, 2011

Loch Scavaig and Gars Bheinn, Isle of Skye. Ta...

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I was watching a program on television about someone walking forgotten paths around the countryside. This particular walk was in the Highlands of Scotland on a no longer existing railway route through the hills and valleys around the Lochs in the area. The walk was being done by a woman and for part of the way she was being accompanied by a local older man. He was dressed in a kilt and was explaining his interest in the area, his family connections and where his ancestors had been buried. He mentioned that he intended to be buried in the same place and pointed to his chosen spot. The woman remarked that it was a nice place to be buried with all that wonderful scenery about. Now this is where it gets a bit silly. What difference does it make to a dead person where they are buried? They will not be able to enjoy the place. They will not be able to see it, smell it or touch it, they will be dead! They will know nothing, they will be no more. I cannot understand why people think this way, especially as most people are quite intelligent. It is illogical to think that wherever you are buried when dead makes any difference at all. A similar thing happens when people insist on visiting the remains of deceased loved ones to ‘chat’ with them! They mutter words into thin air over a grave or place where ashes are buried and leave wreaths or some flowers as a token gesture. Some go to great lengths to tidy up the grave as if it makes any difference to the bones lying beneath the sods! Some will say that it makes them feel better when they do these things and they are acting out of respect for the deceased. The shame is that the deceased doesn’t even know what is going on and anything they do has no affect on them. What part of ‘deceased’ don’t people understand? In reality it is far better to love the person whilst they are alive, pay them respect whilst they live because when they are dead it is too late! If you love someone, show them. Don’t wait until they are dead before letting them know for they will not be able to hear you.

Shirley Anne

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Idol worship

Posted by Shirley Anne on July 11, 2011

The Adoration of the Golden Calf'

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Many people today worship idols but probably are unaware that they do. An idol is something that holds your attention sometimes at the expense of more important things. In fact always at the expense of more important things! Marriages and relationships break down, time is wasted on futile and non-essential things. For a season we indulge in our passions at the expense of a better life. Now you may be thinking, what exactly are these ‘idols’? Hobbies that take over all our time, hero-worship, these days usually defined as a favourite music band, a singer or a group, a football player or the whole team (probably more usual). Some people just cannot get enough information about their favourite idol and buy all the magazine literature there is just to get a glimpse of their lifestyles and live in a permanent state of awe. So called ‘stars’, ‘celebrities’ and people in the public eye strut about like they were something special compared to the rest of us mortals and people love it! There is nothing wrong with most of these things if taken very light-heartedly and not too seriously of course but the danger remains in spending too much of our own lives and time following after the exploits of others. Don’t we have lives of our own? There are other things too that can take up too much of our time, drink (alcohol), drugs and other unsavoury and unnecessary things for a happy life  and we should be especially careful in these matters. As a Christian I have to be very careful that I don’t spend time in ‘idol worship‘ at the expense of spending more time with God and the things He would have me do with my time. I have never been into ‘celebrities’, don’t have a favourite movie, book or author and things of that nature that I over-indulge myself with, in fact I only read non-fiction anyway. There are pleasures to be had in life of course and we shouldn’t eliminate everything that takes our time but we should consider the consequences of not doing so.

Shirley Anne

Posted in Behaviour, Happiness, Lifestyle, Philosophy, Relationships, Temptation, Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

And now for something completely different.

Posted by Shirley Anne on June 20, 2011

Old garage.

Image by Elsie esq. via Flickr

Yeah sure! It’s mostly the same old things just now, work, work and yes, you guessed it, more work! All around the house though. Sunday morning saw me rise fairly early and set about working on the new (?) garage roofline. A little history here. It was around 1998-9 that I began work on building this garage. Formerly it was a horses stable, not used as such for many years and very much neglected by the previous owner of the house and subsequently by ourselves. We didn’t intend on neglecting it but we had many other things to do at the time. One day whilst clearing it out I found that the rear wall was in such a bad state it was in danger of collapsing. The inside of the wall had been lined with heavy-duty plywood and it seems this was the only thing keeping it standing! The wall needed rebuilding but we decided at the time to take the opportunity to extend the stable back into the garden and convert it into a garage instead. This meant digging out a lot of ground and laying foundations to support new concrete to extend the existing good concrete floor. I actually did all this work myself but of course employed someone else to lay the concrete which was supplied ready-mixed. I had built foundations for the rear wall and filled in the area with hardcore, sand and a heavy-duty pvc liner to prevent moisture rising through the floor. After I had done this I set about building the rear and side walls and then erect joists and a roof. I had completely stripped the old roof away as it was leaking and needed replacing anyway. I employed someone to lay a covering over the plywood I had used to construct the new roof. By this time it was 2000-2001 and I was going through a bad patch at home. Actually I had been having matrimonial problems for some years prior and things were getting me down. I was beginning to lay the foundations for my transition and work on the garage stopped because I was under pressure with nobody to assist me in finishing the project. You can read more about this time of my life in the pages above. Needless to say after my transition I took no interest in much that was going on at home because nobody was taking any interest in me. I refused to be used any longer so I left things alone. It was a couple of years after my divorce when at last I made the move and tried to get my ex. to accompany me for lunch. We had been trying to sell the house for some years without success but things began to improve between us and we decided to stay together, that is live together but not in a close relationship, well not as it was before. Since that ‘first’ lunch our relationship has improved enormously and now couldn’t be better. I had no intentions of spending much on the house because it would have only been myself funding any works. E had no funds to speak of and could not afford to pay for renovations. I had a change of heart (something to do with love and my faith in God) and decided to splash out to the tune of (thus far) about £35.000 and get things done, doing what work I was physically able to do if I could. Prioritising meant that the poor old garage took another back seat in the renovation stakes! Over the last few weeks much has been done to the garage and yesterday I managed to do quite a lot especially on the fascia boards, fitting them where they hadn’t been fitted and painting them with a priming coat ready for the top coat perhaps this week. Windows have been fitted (just a little work on trims to do) and the next major job is to install the roller-shutter door once I can prepare the way and clean up the fittings that have become corroded waiting for them to be installed! The roller-shutter door has been stored in the garage for over ten years! It is well protected though and should be no problem once installed. There is no guarantee of course, that expired years ago! LOL.

Today, hopefully, the paving in the rear garden will be completed, that is if E’s nephew turns up. He has let us down before but I’ll have to wait and see if this time he will fulfill his promise.

Shirley Anne

Posted in House and Home, Relationships, Transsexual | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Petulant and blind

Posted by Shirley Anne on March 17, 2011

When the Israelites were instructed to drive out all the nations of peoples resident in the land that God had given them, the promised land (symbolic of the heavenly promised land to all believers), they did not do as God had told them. Consequently those people who were allowed to remain became a thorn in their side. One of those people were the Philistines who were the ancestors of present day Palestinians. Surprise, surprise! Now those who are an enmity to God, who refuse to believe His existence will declare that He God, the one they don’t believe in, is not a loving God and they don’t want anything to do with such a God. Totally illogical reasoning to reject someone, not believing in their existence and then blaming them for something. You cannot place blame on something that doesn’t exist! I digress. God had a very good reason to give the instruction He did but because He wasn’t obeyed chaos and unrest resulted. God was using Israel as an example to the rest of His creation. The events in the Bible, the Old Testament, were real events but they represent a spiritual future, they were prophetic events that happened in history. Many of those prophecies have come to pass and the rest have yet to be fulfilled. When these things are revealed to unbelievers they are immediately rejected. That of course is bound to happen but it doesn’t mean prophecy is untrue. The blind are blind and cannot see.

As believers in God we must believe in what He says. We must take Him at His word. The problem is that even some believers do not do this. Certain things are wrong in Gods eyes and He tells us what they are in Scripture. Those who believe will listen but others only wish to hear what they want to hear. If God says that homosexuality is wrong then homosexuality is wrong! If God says that stealing is wrong the stealing is wrong! If God says that He hates mediums and spiritists then they must be wrong! Now because many secularists think these things are not wrong they will automatically disagree. A lesbian, a homosexual, a thief, a fortune-teller will all be against God else they don’t believe what He says. God does not hate these people, far from it! He loves them and only wishes they would turn to Him in repentance. It is not the person He hates, it is what they do! As Christians we should also not hate others nor come against them but at the same time we should witness and pray that they will see sense and turn to God. On a personal note here, I know many homosexuals, lesbians and bi-sexual people, a few, well shall we say, unsavoury characters. I do not hate any of them. I love them, I pray for them and I try to be a witness and an example to them. I see them as God sees them, lost but not knowing it.

In our modern society we have mixed races of people living together, people of different faiths and religions and of different political views. We make an attempt at living in harmony but it is destined to fail on all fronts. This is because we cannot love one another as God has instructed us to do. We simply cannot live in harmony because of our differences. This is one reason that God told the Israelites to drive out the nations before them. God knew that there would be unrest, bitterness and hatred but the Israelites were a stubborn people and would not listen, very much like people today, they just will not listen. There will be a day though, as prophesied, when ALL people will bow the knee before their God or be cast aside. In the meantime the secular world thinks it has the answers to all of society’s problems. It hasn’t and it never will. There is too much intolerance, bigotry, hatred, selfishness, homophobia of all kinds for anything in secular society to work. There is a form of stability but it teeters on a knife-edge. The only way is Gods way. The petulant unbeliever, who only wants everyone else to accept them as they are or because of what they are is automatically at enmity with those who object. If it is a religion then that religion is declared immoral, homophobic and even evil. However it isn’t the religion that is at fault, it is the few vociferous members who, not truly following after God, who are at fault. Religion should not be a tool for ‘secular Bible bashing‘. Gods love is the tool for that task. 

For the love of God is how and why we should be living. Let evil reside with those who hate God.

Shirley Anne

Posted in Christianity, Evil, God, Love, Morality, People, Politics, Prophecy, Relationships, Religion, Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

What would you do?

Posted by Shirley Anne on March 11, 2011

What would you do if you were me
And I were you
What would we see?
What thoughts would swim inside your head
If you were me
And I were you instead?
For in the past I thought the same
As you do now
But I did change.
I’d think perhaps that you would too
If you were me
And I were you.

Copyright Shirley Anne 10 March 2011

I am a Christian believer. I believe in God, the Creator of all things, in Jesus the Christ (Messiah) His only begotten Son and in the Holy Spirit. I wasn’t born with these beliefs. Nobody is. In fact I was an atheist, a non-believer, an adamant non-believer who just would not entertain the idea that I could be wrong. This is documented in one of my pages above. I was an unbeliever of almost 44 years yet I was able to change and that in an instant! Being as I am now I am persuaded, encouraged, even commanded to tell others about this diamond of information, that God does exist, that Jesus paid the price for all my sins and that the Holy Spirit is within me. It isn’t that I do these things reluctantly either. I do these things because I want to. If I didn’t want to I wouldn’t be a real Christian. As it says in Scripture no-one lights a lamp and then hides it under a table! Knowing something different than I knew before is one thing but knowing what I knew before is nothing in light of what I know now! It is for this reason as much as anything else that compels me to spread the word. It doesn’t matter if nobody else agrees with what I say, it is important that they hear though even if they do not think so. I will have done my duty. If those who listen make no positive response then the consequences lie with them alone. Naturally they won’t see things that way because they see with different eyes, with a different spirit, just as I once did. Remember…just as I once did. What would they do if they were me? They would do exactly the same.

Shirley Anne

Posted in God, Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit, Relationships, Religion | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Back home

Posted by Shirley Anne on January 25, 2011

Not that I’ve been anywhere distant lately but I am at home more often now. On Sunday morning I set about filling the new vegetable growing area with soil. It took about three hours of filling the wheelbarrow and a lot of little journeys between the soil mound and the growing area. I had to construct a temporary ramp too as the walls of the raised bed growing area stand about two feet off the ground. I didn’t do much work after that. Over the weekend, the floodlight over the front door became faulty, that is the detector. It is a split system with the detector separate from the light itself. It had been installed twenty years ago by yours truly and the detector system was low voltage. I had manufactured the control circuit myself but it finally gave up the ghost! Modern units run directly from the main supply so I had to convert that part of the wiring to accommodate a new one. This I did on Monday morning after a trip to the supplier. The guy across the road took a great interest in the woman in a skirt climbing up and down the ladder doing electrical work! It always seems to happen that when I am at home working I get calls to do work for other people. Monday was no exception. Today, Tuesday, I am out doing those jobs!

 There is a bit of tension at home just now as E and I are not talking. She can be very abrasive at times and sometimes speaks to me in a hurtful way. It isn’t so much what she says, it’s the way she says it. I love her and she knows that but there is something in her which makes her act aggressively. I might ask a simple question and she snaps my head off for no reason at all. So rather than cause a row and argue with her, it would only make her worse anyhow, I keep out of her way. I never get an apology, I never expect one but it would be nice to get one nevertheless. Usually it is me who has to break the ice. What an iceberg though! LOL . I suppose a 99% good relationship is better than none.

I sit alone within my room
The day is long, the day is gloom
I fear to speak less I’m put down
And all is quiet, not a sound.

Do I deserve such punishment
When all I need’s a little love?
Is there no cure, is there no hope
For someone with a heart of stone?

Sometimes I wonder why I stay
Believing it will change one day,
And all I do is sit and cry
As time relentlessly goes by.

Copyright Shirley Anne 25 Jan 2011
 

Shirley Anne

Posted in House and Home, Relationships | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

Peace on earth…………..

Posted by Shirley Anne on January 1, 2011

This year come 27th January I will have known E for 38 years and have lived with her for thirty-six and a half of them. We married 18 months after we met. Which means we know each other pretty well. I loved E from the beginning and that hasn’t changed despite all I have been through in our relationship. Oh there have been good times, wonderfully good times but there have been bad times too. Isn’t that the way for any marriage? I digress. Half-way through our marriage E became very ‘cold’ toward me and try as I might to resolve the problem it stayed that way. She would have good moments followed by bad ones and I was the recipient of her antagonism when she had these mood swings. There was no real reason for them, no medical reason that is. My live was often hell and I was treated like a leper sometimes. I persevered though because I loved her and felt sure she would see sense eventually. She didn’t and it led to our divorce. I had given up my whole life for her and denied myself a lifelong ambition to transition. I made up my mind to fully transition about six years before we divorced and did so three years before that event. For a while after the divorce we hardly spoke to each other but I couldn’t bear  the atmosphere and did something about it. We had planned to sell up and move apart but those plans didn’t bear fruit and we agreed to stay together about three years ago. It works well and we get on very well now strangely enough. I have gone all out to please her and to give her what she wants, materially speaking. She knows that I love her, she has always known that, she has told me many times in the past. However she cannot stop treating me badly occasionally and I suppose I will never understand why. A few days ago she accused me of something, which wasn’t true by the way and I told her so and asked why she says such things. At this moment in time we are not speaking again! E has what you might call an abrasive side, she seems to delight in rubbing folk up the wrong way, she has a very short fuse too and is bad tempered! If you remember the old nursery rhyme, ‘when she was good, she was very, very good but when she was bad she was horrid’, that describes E to a ‘T’. The other morning I came down for breakfast and she was already up. She had finished breakfast and was watching the tv we have in the dining room. I wished her a good morning and she just grunted. I continued to prepare my breakfast whilst trying to chat with her. She didn’t wish to know. Why she is like that I have no idea. She wonders why I avoid her sometimes. Yesterday I treated myself to a few bottles of lager we have in the fridge and felt so miserable I decided to visit the pub. It was around nine in the evening and I had no intentions of staying there all night for the new year celebrations as I do not celebrate the occasion, I simply had to get out of the house for a while. The pub was packed with people enjoying themselves and I went straight to the bar and ordered my drink. Within minutes I had all sorts of people come up to me and give me a big hug, my friends. They asked why they hadn’t seen me there for a while. I made no excuses and told them I don’t bother going to the pub as often these days. They were all pleased to see me anyhow. I guess there must have been around thirty or forty hugs from my friends. After an hour or so I left and came back home. I’d had more drink than I wanted and was drunk! After a snack I went to bed and don’t remember much until six when I needed the toilet. I guess I was in bed by 11 o’clock and asleep by five past! I am having a rest today (sabbath) and intend to do nothing at all. E still isn’t speaking to me but I know that will change soon so I won’t press it. Peace on earth and goodwill toward all men (and women)? Yes but only when it suits some people it seems.

Shirley Anne

Posted in Behaviour, Friendship, Love, Relationships | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

 
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