I’ve known ‘J’ now for just over thirteen and a half years. We met one evening in a bar in Manchester’s ‘gay’ district, or The Gay Village as it is often called. J and I were transsexuals who met with other transgendered people each week for a night out. J stopped going out there a few months before I did. I was about to undergo my operation and she was embarking on a university course for computer studies. I had been going to Manchester for almost three years and returned there but twice following my operation. J was in denial regarding her gender dysphoria, although I am not certain she was aware of  it at the time. We still kept in touch and in more recent times, say the last five years or so she has been invited to family gatherings and meals out as our friend. She gained her university degree after a few years hard work and determination. When she started to visit with us a couple of years ago she confided in me that she was now accepting her gender issues and was intent on going through with the full transition and all that entails. She is making good progress on her journey but the main stumbling block is our country’s NHS system putting too many obstacles in the way. Earlier in the year J left her parents home where she had been living and moved to the south coast at the invitation of a girl called ‘M’ who had just undergone her own operation. J now lives in the same apartment as M. I last saw J a few months ago when she invited me out to her archery club social evening, the last one she would be attending before moving away. She got in touch with me last week saying she would be coming back this way to collect some things from her parents house and at the same time dropping M off in Manchester. M has business interests there. J asked if she could stop over at my house for the evening else she would have to find a room in a hotel. She is always welcome here and has stopped over a few times before. There was no way I would refuse her. So it was she came over. The idea was to go out for a meal and she had been trying to contact me to see if I wanted to eat out. Originally she was to arrive around 5.30 but it was almost three hours later before she did. As we had failed to connect over the phone she decided to eat out alone on the way over! I have to say at this point I was hungry and would have gone out with her. After a couple of hours not hearing from her I grabbed a bite to eat knowing that it would be too late to go out for a meal but not knowing that she was dining out. Never mind, that’s life sometimes. When she did arrive we drank the bottle of red wine she had brought with her. I had already drunk a bottle during the afternoon and early evening! We had a good chat together and caught up on things before she needed to hit the sack. The driving and the high humidity had taken it out of her so she was looking forward to some rest and sleep.  J and M are in the picture which is distorted to hide everyone’s identity.
A few of my readers may remember the story I told recently about my son and his wife who were having their first child ‘Christened’. They didn’t know what to do about inviting me along because of the attitude of some members of my family toward me. When they were married I wasn’t invited to the wedding for the same reason and it broke my heart. I wouldn’t speak to them for many months afterward. It appears they have done the same thing again and had the baby Christened without my knowledge of the date. Now J had spoken with E, my ex, whilst she was here and later let it slip to me that the baby had been Christened already. Evidently E had mentioned it. E and I haven’t been on speaking terms for months because of the way she treats me sometimes and it turns out it was E who had raised objections to my presence at the wedding. It doesn’t take much imagination to work out who objected to my presence at the Christening does it? It’s funny how the truth is exposed or more to the point the wickedness of others, even those close to you. I love E dearly but it is extremely difficult living with someone who can be so nasty at times.
J had a good night’s sleep and after a tiny breakfast of melon and tea made her way to the shops en route to her parents house to collect her things and to take her sister out into Liverpool to see a movie before heading to Manchester to collect M and drive back south. I messed about on the computer, had my lunch and took the mile and a half walk into town to visit the banks to deposit some cash before returning directly home. Just as I arrived E was leaving to do the weekly shopping trip with her mom. Not a word was said.

Shirley Anne