This time last year

Queen Elizabeth II Law Courts, Liverpool, England.
Queen Elizabeth II Law Courts, Liverpool, England. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This time last year saw me in Liverpool Crown Court for two weeks and no, I hadn’t been called to answer for some criminal activity for those who don’t already know. I was called to do my duty as a juror for the second time in my life. I really enjoyed the experience and would readily do it again given the opportunity. I am thinking though that doing my duty might be nicer during the warmer months of the year but we can’t have it all can we? I wonder if I will ever be called upon for jury service again as my age is against me now. Last year I sat on three trials and was forewoman on one of them. I remember years ago how shy and timid I was and would never have put myself forward for such a duty, in fact I couldn’t face being in the limelight for any reason. Fortunately all that has changed and any nervousness I once had has gone forever. It is all about confidence, the one thing I sadly lacked. I remember my first time standing before an audience to give a ten minute talk on the subject of my choice which was helicopters. The audience was small, probably around fifteen to twenty people, my fellow students at college which seemed to make it more difficult. I was eighteen years old and nervous as hell but once I opened my mouth I found all nervousness had departed. I wasn’t really eager to do it again though but one year later I had to do the same thing again. This time I chose astronomy as my subject, something I really knew about. Although I was supposed to speak for ten minutes it was way over twenty before I finished, the lecturer couldn’t get me to stop but I suppose on reflection he simply thought I was doing a good job. It would be many more years though before I gained enough confidence to stand in front of an audience again. That happened at church when I took a turn at leading the congregation in worship from the platform with my guitar and singing too! I went on a rota doing that for a couple of years before I finally left the church. I have come a long way since my youth but lack the opportunity now to show my confidence in a similar manner. There’s still time though!

Shirley Anne

 

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Author: Shirley Anne

Happy to be alive because of Jesus

2 thoughts on “This time last year”

  1. I had the same issues with confidence before transitioning. I had to do a lot of public talking for my job and once I got going, I used to really enjoy it, but it was torture in the run up to it. Of course, none of this was helped by the terrible stutter I used to have, though I think it did help my speaking since I had to work so deliberately to speak clearly when presenting that I was always very clear. Luckily, the stutter disappeared with my testosterone when I started taking antiandrogens but the focus to speak clearly stayed and now that I’m not so scared of everything and can believe in myself a bit more, they can’t keep me off the presentation stage at work! 🙂

  2. Hi Emily. You may have something there, I wonder if testosterone does have an influence on that condition? If you ask many people who have to speak to an audience and even some rock stars too they openly admit to being nervous until they actually start.

    Shirley Anne x

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