Well Monday began as many of my Mondays seem to be doing lately, with nothing to do. Nobody had called for my services on Sunday, the day I receive most of the work I get for Monday and so there was no real reason to get up early if I didn’t wish to. As it happened I woke up around 8.20 and got up anyway. I got dressed ready for work should there be any but nobody had called by noon and I began to think I might get changed and go to the pub for lunch, a late lunch that is. I wasn’t particularly hungry when I got up so I just had a banana, a pear and a drink. By 2 o’clock I was feeling peckish so I changed into more decent attire and arrived at the pub around 3 o’clock. There were few people in at that time so I was served immediately I got to the bar. I ordered a meal and took some soft drinks to the table. Jill, the landlady, asked if I wanted to open a tab so I accepted as it saves having to pay at each visit to the bar. I hadn’t been sitting down very long when my meal arrived. Evidently somebody had ordered the same but either they were not ready to eat that course else it was made in error. In any event it was delicious even though I’d have preferred it to arrive a little later. Normally the waiting time is twenty minutes or thereabouts as everything is cooked to order. After I’d finished eating a regular customer arrived with her mum and a friend of the family and they occupied a table in the corner. Soon they were surrounded by others until the whole area was filled. It seems they had all been to a funeral. Why do people only get to see each other when there is a death in the family? One lady, probably around 70 years of age, came in with a man friend and was soon making her presence known. She was very lively and out-going, the kind of person who is the life and soul of any gathering, it was simply who she was. She kept glancing in my direction as I was sitting alone. I knew that inevitably she would come over for a chat, I just had that feeling. Sure enough she came over and explained who she was, which was the sister of the elder of the two women who had first arrived, the aunt of the other woman and she invited me over but I declined. She even offered to buy me a drink but again I declined. Whilst she was talking with me she took hold of my hand and was caressing it as though I was an old friend she hadn’t seen for a long time and she kept hugging and kissing me, apologising in case I was offended by her presence. Far from it! I wish there were more people like her around. They all seemed to be enjoying each other’s company whilst even more guests arrived. One of these guests kept running here and there moving chairs and tables trying to accommodate everyone. It was obvious to me there was something special about her, a feeling I had which was verified when she and I spoke. She was the one who told me that they were all there because of the funeral earlier and she told me who had died. Naturally, for me that is, I asked if the deceased had been a Christian to which she replied that he hadn’t but that his wife was. We chatted together about our faith before she returned to the others. It’s funny that Christians always seem to know when they are talking with their brothers and sisters in Christ but not really surprising I suppose. About an half-hour after she had arrived, the life-and-soul of the party, the older lady, came over to speak with me again and gave me more hugs and kisses. She then bade me farewell but sang it! The whole pub went quiet whist she sang. What a voice she had and so surprising for someone her age but as I learned later, she had been a professional singer all her life. After she had finished singing I led the folk in the pub in applause. When she finally left the building her absence was very noticeable…..for all the right reasons. My Monday afternoon had been pleasantly changed by the appearance of one person. Maybe I was guided to the pub just to meet her for she certainly seemed to convey a message of love to me that she hadn’t expressed even to those around her. Wouldn’t the world be a better place with more people like her in it? For a while longer I sat alone until more people came in and chatted with me but I didn’t stay too long and was back home just after 6 o’clock.
I don’t know why I was in Liverpool but one evening I was out with friends there. I cannot remember who they were. The strange thing about this dream is that I was only wearing a bath robe throughout. We were in the heart of the city and I was encouraged to shower and in an old cast iron Victorian bath not unlike the picture above that had a shower hose attached to an upright pole at one end of the bath. I am not sure why I was encouraged to bathe but I assumed my friends wanted me to get dressed and join them, even though I was already with them! The bath itself was located in a dingy old unlit building. I was frightened of being exposed but the room was dark and nobody seemed to be there so I started to take a shower. I heard voices and discovered to my horror that there were in fact other people in the room and I reached for my robe to cover my nakedness and climbed out of the bath. The proprietor of the establishment who for some unknown reason I knew insisted I get back in the bath and continue bathing. By now the room was dimly lit and there were people sitting at the bar behind which the bath was located. I was in a sushi-bar! I couldn’t understand why the bath was there and I couldn’t refuse to bathe because of a promise I had made but something I couldn’t remember. I would be in trouble if I declined. When I got back into the bath I saw that it had been lined with a light blue coloured blanket of double or triple layers and there were three people each fully clothed sitting in it. One was a rather large woman who took up much of the space. They were all gawping at me whilst I continued to bathe and all seemed interested in my vagina but only in the context of knowing my gender. I suddenly found myself at the other end of the room looking for my clothes. Evidently I had left them there on a previous visit the week before! There were some lockers standing next to an emergency exit door, the type with a panic bar fitted to enable a quick exit. I took out a bunch of keys I had and taking the first key I opened the top locker. I remember at the time thinking how strange it was that I had the keys and how strange that I managed to select a key which would open the door immediately at first attempt. I looked inside to see a couple of broken clothes hangers that had row upon row of woolen socks on them and what looked like someone’s shirt. Just as I was looking at them and wondering where my own clothes were the proprietor appeared beside me and told me that I’d left my clothes behind a row of chairs in a couple of plastic bags on the floor against the skirting board. I placed the hangers back in the locker and turned around to discover a large crowd of men standing by the exit door seemingly waiting to go to a football match. They seemed oblivious to my presence and the fact that I was almost naked. I decided to look behind the chairs that were standing along another wall but couldn’t find my clothes. When I turned to look at the exit door I saw that it was now open and all the men were outside but they were not in a hurry to move away from the building. There had been a row of chairs against the wall behind where the men had been standing and it was there that I found my clothes. They had been there all week and nobody had touched them. This also struck me as being very unusual. I found myself outside of the building, whether dressed or not I can’t remember and I was looking toward it. I could make out the name written above the large windows indicating that it was indeed a sushi-bar and there were lights now lit inside but everything was nevertheless still dim. I woke up.
Life has a funny way of taking you by surprise doesn’t it? Many of the plans we have seem to get interfered with or something spoils what we had in mind to do. This often happens with my weekend plans. One thing or another gets in the way. On Saturday morning all I wanted to do was to remain in bed, something that I like to do occasionally but seldom get the chance. For some reason or another I went to bed on Friday night feeling rather tired. I hadn’t done much during the day, it was one of those days when I was pretty much inactive so it was hard to understand why I was so tired or why I slept-in so long. Usually I get disturbed by phone calls from people wanting my services but that wasn’t the case on Saturday. I didn’t get downstairs until noon though! It’s great when I’ve no pressing commitments. Totally missed breakfast of course but I wanted to get some exercise before lunch so I spent some time on the treadmill before returning upstairs to wash and dress, then downstairs again for a bite to eat. Half-way through my lunch I got a call. Now I don’t usually work at the weekend and especially not on the Saturday which I consider as my Sabbath day. My faith demands that I do no work except if it is by way of an emergency or is absolutely necessary. The principle being that the Sabbath day was made for man and not man for the Sabbath day. I am not restricted to complete abstinence from work under the new covenant wrought by Jesus Christ, it is all about having time out from the working week, having the rest we need. Anyway I took the call and discovered that the caller had a fault on their electrical power circuits and thus were unable to cook or power the heating system amongst many other things of lesser importance. With the weather being so cold the heating system needs to be working! I explained I was in the middle of lunch but I would be there as fast as I could. The house was over eight miles away in another town and I was there about forty minutes later. Fortunately the fault was simple to repair, it was a faulty power socket which I soon replaced and all was well again. It could have been something more involved, taking hours to put right but thankfully not this time. I returned home and spent the rest of the day as I had planned, doing nothing!
Don’t want your empty promises
Don’t want a pack of lies
Don’t want your sexy pictures
They only make me cry.
Don’t want you ‘cos you’re lonely
Don’t want your luggage too
Don’t want your hoards of children
I want just only you.
Don’t want a one night stand love
Don’t want a quick fix trip
Don’t want a hollow feeling
I want relationship.
Don’t want a loveless partner
Don’t want a frozen heart
Don’t want to feel rejection
I want a lasting love.
Copyright Shirley Anne 19 Dec 03
Most people want to fall in love and be happy with their partner in a mutually loving relationship but not everyone has those dreams fulfilled do they? Everything may start off right and things go pleasantly for a while then somehow it all goes down the pan with broken hearts and dreams following on behind. When looking for a lasting life relationship we certainly don’t want somebody who’s qualities match those listed in the poem above do we?
How can it be that I am happy and yet feel so bored I could jump off a cliff? Regular readers of this blog, that is those who have been following for a couple of years will know that I have irregular times of being bored for no apparent reason. I just cannot be bothered sometimes. Life is good for a number of reasons, best of all is that it is God-given but even knowing that doesn’t prevent my journeys into getting fed-up with it. The things I like doing, the interests I have and even my work all seem to lose my attention to them at times. When these feelings come over me I lose interest in all those things, I can’t be bothered with them or anything. If I play my guitar I normally enjoy it but then get bored and put it down after a few minutes, if I browse the Internet it bores me soft and I switch to playing solitaire for ages instead, if I decide to stay at home I get bored and if I go to the pub all I want to do is return home. I find the everyday things in life a chore, I speak with people then wished they would just leave me alone, yet I sometimes yearn for company. I like driving but almost never just go for a drive somewhere and if I do I begin to think to myself where are you going and what’s the point? Well exactly, what is the point? Yet through all of this I feel ecstatically happy! How strange is that? Many might say I am just depressed but it isn’t depression as in the clinical meaning of the word, it is simply boredom and anything anyone suggests to me to alleviate it is totally uninteresting. I know it will pass, it always does and yet I feel more and more at home with the feelings I get as time goes by. I am getting used to it like a soul who just wants to turn off the switch and disappear into the distance never to be seen again. I have tried to explain these feelings before but each time, as above, it doesn’t really make any sense. I’ll remain bored until it wears off else get used to it and remain that way………….in the meantime………….I’m…………….Oh I can’t be bothered…………
I was at a bit of a loose end on Sunday with nothing to do in the afternoon. Earlier I had been on the treadmill and then had some lunch followed by a spell on the Internet. It was a gloriously sunny day, just right for a walk but I wasn’t in the mood for walking too far having spent time on the treadmill and on Saturday doing even more exercise. Well the pub is only about a half-mile from my house so I decided to go there. Sunday afternoons at the pub are usually cramped affairs and these days most of the seating is taken up by diners from all over the place and from places afar too. It has become quite an attraction as an eating establishment since it was taken over a couple of years ago by the new landlords Eddie and his wife Jill. I have to say they have made it a successful business when beforehand it struggled a bit. There is usually space at the bar though and when I arrived I soon found a seat there. I opened a tab as I wasn’t sure how long I would be there or if I might feel like eating later. As it happened I returned home early in the evening and dined there instead. The televisions were switched on and showing a Premiership football game between Liverpool and Swansea but the sound had been switched off for the benefit of those who were dining, not that they would be watching any of the screens anyway, who wants to be dining out with a football match noise going on in the background? Those of us in the bar area simply watched it in silence like everyone else. Not long after I had been there I saw a man in a wheelchair approaching the side door close to where I was sitting so I arose and held the door open for him as he came inside. There wasn’t much room for the wheelchair except close to where I was sitting so he stayed close by. I could see him struggling to get his out his wallet so I offered to help him. It was on a cord around his neck so it could be pulled out easily. I unzipped his coat and pulled out the wallet asking him what he would like to drink whilst taking out a five-pound note. I ordered his drink and placed it in his hand and put the change into his wallet and back inside his coat. Soon we were chatting away and he began to tell me about the events which put him in the wheelchair after I’d asked him about it. It turned out that he hadn’t been in an accident but he’d had an abscess on the back of his neck that he had been unaware of for years. The abscess had grown and it’s presence had become noticeable, so much so that he began to feel pain and limited arm movement. The abscess was on his spine and affecting the spinal nerve. It was successfully removed at the hospital once it had been diagnosed and discovered but unfortunately the damaged had already been done. However, he told me and showed me that he was still able to move some muscles in his legs, a good sign with the possibility that he may be able to walk again one day if all goes well. He is undergoing therapy toward that end. I hope he makes it. He had only popped into the pub on his way home from a shopping expedition, a nursing home close-by and soon after he had finished his drink (a bottle of beer, he couldn’t hold a normal glass) he left. I think he was glad for the company and I was happy to oblige. After that I chatted with other folk as they came and went and then I left for home myself. When I first arrived at the pub I got chatting to the manager and told him about one of his customers who had been dining with two elderly friends or family and who had just walked out of the door close to where I was sitting. The guy himself was in his sixties and looked a little ‘doddery’ as they say and he had given me a quick glance as he left. I never forget a face, I might forget a name and often do but never a face. I remembered this guy though, he had been a colleague of mine at a place I had worked for many years prior to my going self-employed over fifteen years ago. He didn’t recognise me! I wonder why? LOL
I have said this many times in the past but I don’t worry about anything these days, I put my hope and faith in God who takes away my cares. Ok I know some of you will disagree with that but nevertheless it is true for me, He really does take away my cares. Personal problems I may have do not compare to the problems that face so many in the world. If you click on the link to the right ‘Vine of life news’ or here instead, http://vineoflife.net you will see the column to the far right of its home page items of news from around the world which will open your eyes to what is really going on, some items of news you never hear about from the media or main television news reports. The world is in a terrible state, people facing danger, starvation, military and religious oppression of all kinds and we should be concerned. I know I am concerned but I’m not worried about it all, these things we are told will happen before the end time. As sure as God has a plan they will, He knows things before they happen, it is all in prophecy. Mankind is heading for its own destruction unless there is an intervention, and there will be as sure as there is a tomorrow. I do not worry about these things for it is all in God’s hands. I am not surprised to read about many of the things we human beings get up to all in the name of religion, greed, power and such things. Man’s inhumanity toward his fellow being at times beggars belief and to what end? I remember how much my father was upset about such things and he would often say so whenever he learned of another way mankind had behaved toward his fellow-man. People tell me that we as human beings are gradually improving in our relationships with each other and that the world is becoming a better place but from where I stand and what I can see going on all around me that suggestion is a difficult one to accept. We have had many generations come and go to get it right but I don’t think we are even close or ever likely to be but as I said, I am not worried, God takes that away from me for I place everything into His hands.
1 Peter 5:6-7
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
When I’ve been ill or unable to exercise as happened late last year I have gained weight by being idle and most of the time didn’t feel at my best. A little exercise changes all of that and if done in the morning sets you up for the whole day. Until a few years ago I used to get up very early, most often at 02.30 and be ready to go out in all-weather to do a four or six-mile run after which I would return home and get ready to go to work! I am well-past doing that sort of thing now but I still like running, though now it is usually on my treadmill. For years I owned a bicycle too and spent many an hour riding around on it but always during the day or evening, never in the early hours of the morning! Running is very much different to cycling and in some respects not as good. Each exercise has its own benefits of course. As I have explained in other posts I am beginning to improve my exercise regime since my last period of inactivity caused by the accident I had and I am finding it less strenuous. I have noticed an improvement in the speed I can run and my stamina has improved quite a lot too. Exercise that leaves one a little breathless for a while makes sure the heart gets the exercise it needs too and with each period of exercise undertaken a greater feeling of well-being results. Whenever I do some rigorous exercise I can almost feel my arteries dilating and the blood rushing through them and that feeling lasts for hours after. People who likewise exercise this way will know what I am saying, it just makes you feel good all day. Apart from anything else it burns calories too which can’t be bad for my waistline! I’ve done quite a considerable amount of exercise over the last few weeks and after a long spell of inactivity I can tell you which I prefer!