Yes but I am writing this at the end of December! Another year over and now I am wondering what will occupy the days ahead. Much of my time last year was spent indoors doing refurbishment in the cellar rooms and although there is other work I could do inside the house I doubt that will happen, in the near future anyhow. I would like to spend more time in the gardens this year and perhaps that will happen but I also intend to spend more time in recreational things. Time will tell. The thing is I know I am at that time in life where I either curl up and do little or try to remain active and do whatever takes my fancy even if that means working at something. Would I be happy sitting around doing nothing and seizing up in the process or being active doing those things I enjoy? I think I would be happiest when being active in some way. Time marches on relentlessly and soon we discover we have less of it to look forward to so it is always best to enjoy life whilst we can.
Ecclesiastes 8:15 : So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun.
I have met a few people who seemed to have given up on life and I found that very sad. When we look at life we should realise there is nothing we can do other than to live it. We ought to be happy and if we are not we ought to do something about it otherwise what is the point? We each know what makes us happy, not what we think will make us happy. Often what we think will make us happy doesn’t do so when we get it.
Will I make it to next February? Well I do hope so but in the meantime my plan is to be happy, to enjoy life and to remain that way!
…if it’s the last thing I ever do. Yes a familiar line from an old song which I think if I can remember was by a group called ‘The Animals’ with a front man called Eric Burden. It was recorded in the mid-sixties. Now I am showing my age which for those who wish to know is 72. As I write this it is Wednesday morning on the fourth of July. Now there’s a familiar date. Greetings to all my American friends, which by that I mean all of you living there. Okay I am two weeks late but the date doesn’t matter. By the way I greet all people the same no matter from where they hail. I am stuck at home though stuck isn’t probably the right word to use, perhaps left at home might be more apt. E has gone to stay with her mom for a few hours whilst her brother, who lives with his mom, has somewhere he needs to go. I am not really sure why he still lives at home with his mom for he is I think 60 years old. Life has dealt him a few bad cards over the years and I guess things just fell into place and kept him living there. E doesn’t speak much about him and I haven’t even seen him for well over twenty years. That’s what happens when families don’t stick together and support each other. There are reasons of course, many are too self-centred and have bigoted feelings. I don’t know why people are like that, after all we are all in the same boat. All you need is love. Now where have I heard that one before? I am not sure many folk know what real love is. If you’ve an ear I can tell you but I don’t wish to preach, not in this post anyway. I see folk going about their daily business and often wonder what it is they think about, what their focus on life is. One day they will, we all will, leave this place and everything in it and in fact it will be the last thing we ever do won’t it? Once more it is a beautifully sunny day, probably going to be too hot again for me if I’m honest. I am maybe thinking I should get out of this place, that is my house and go for a walk somewhere but do you know, I am not sure I will feel better for it. It is late in the morning as I finish this post. I haven’t eaten breakfast because I wasn’t hungry when I got up but I am feeling a little hungry now. After I have eaten I will be ‘reviewing the situation’, (yes, from Oliver Twist, the musical). Have a really nice day my readers.
It isn’t unusual that one day can be so different from the previous one. Many of my days follow a set pattern and nothing much is different between them but there are days which flip the trend. Doing something new or something that hasn’t been done for a while make a day different but other things can do just the same. In yesterday’s post I talked about taking a walk in the rain. At the time it felt good but today, that is Sunday (aka Father’s Day this particular Sunday 17 th) I think I am paying the price! I have been feeling ‘run down’, tired and listless and all I want to do is sit and relax, even take a nap! I just feel drained of energy and am assuming the cold of yesterday has had a negative affect on my health. Hopefully it won’t last but for today at least I am putting up with it. Fortunately I haven’t been bored by just sitting around for the television came to the rescue. Not everyone is interested in soccer but I am not one of them. I am not a fanatic as some might be but I do enjoy watching a good game and this summer there are plenty to watch during the FIFA World Cup championships. This year as all will know it is being held in Russia. I would like to see England do well but it has been so many years since they have. To be honest I don’t support or follow any particular country’s team even my own, I just like watching good football. However if there is something else to do I will abandon the television unless it is the final game which I would probably take time out for. So here I am late on Sunday afternoon waiting for the next game to begin in the next ten minutes writing this and listening to records by various artists from the sixties on Vintage Tv. They are all remembered and bring back my memories from those wonderful days in my life. I remember how it was for me and how I had lacked determination to follow the path in life I perhaps should have taken instead of the one I did. Missed opportunities I regret and yet life has been good despite all the negative things that have happened in my life since then. Today I am happier than I thought I’d ever be and content with life. Tomorrow will be even better…and I am feeling better already.
No not the movie…..life! Do you ever feel you are on a treadmill going nowhere? Yes you do things, you have a routine, you change your routine as often as you feel but nothing really changes does it? Recently retired and when working having purpose really meant nothing either, it simply meant I had something to occupy my time. I still have things to occupy my time, it is simply a different routine. We set goals in life or just live for the moment or maybe we do both but in the end everything we do eventually leads us to the next for we are never satisfied. It is like food for our souls, it is our thoughts which spurs us on, they are what keep us moving forward and ever seeking something that in fact we seldom find if we are truthful. Life can be very satisfying and rewarding but none of it really lasts. We aim to satisfy our physical needs first and foremost and neglect our spiritual needs though the two are inseparable, at least whilst we live. We are driven by what we think but we can change what we think. If we are comfortable with the changes we continue in them or we can make an attempt to do so but in the end if we are not happy we revert. No matter what we do in life, what choices we make along the way can we really say that we’ve been happy one hundred percent of the time? Our thoughts might tell us otherwise and in reality we know we are never fully happy, never fully satisfied with our lot. So our lives are a never-ending struggle with ourselves and our situations. Some resign themselves to never achieving their hopes and dreams and others think they’ve hit the jackpot when they think they have. It is all an illusion, a passing fancy and we have to make the most of it until we die. How often have you heard the expression ‘Life is for living’? Did it have an effect on your choices thereafter? We can but do nothing else but live out our lives as best we can and be happy and contented. In this world there is nothing else.
Everything is meaningless
1 The words of the Teacher, son of David, king of Jerusalem:
2 ‘Meaningless! Meaningless!’ says the Teacher. ‘Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.’
3 What do people gain from all their labours at which they toil under the sun? 4 Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains for ever. 5 The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises. 6 The wind blows to the south and turns to the north; round and round it goes, ever returning on its course. 7 All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again. 8 All things are wearisome, more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing. 9 What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. 10 Is there anything of which one can say, ‘Look! This is something new’? It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time. 11 No one remembers the former generations, and even those yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow them.
I so much love this tune but each time I hear it I burst into tears. I came to hear it for the first time when my personal life was in turmoil but at that time I had begun to take steps that would change my life forever. I was emotionally torn to pieces, lost love and companionship, new friends that I so dearly wished to be more in my life but weren’t and feelings of rejection and hurt almost overwhelming me. It was a hard time for me and many of those things still haunt me. Nothing much has really changed in a personal way and I feel so unloved much of the time even now. This tune and some others by Enya were played often but they always brought tears to my eyes, this one in particular. I love the music but dislike what it does to me yet I cannot resist playing it. I hate being sad and lonely but those things are very much a part of my life. I try my best to overcome and be happy and for much of the time I am but forgetting the sad parts is impossible. I guess I am a hopeless romantic. I hope you enjoy the music for what it is, lovely.
Another year gone and an extra number to my age date today. I am 39! No I am not, I am actually……….no I shan’t tell you but I’m old enough to probably know better as I am sometimes told! Funny, I don’t feel any different from how I did yesterday but age creeps upon us slowly doesn’t it? When I was very young age meant nothing at all to me. When I was in my teenage years I still didn’t think about growing old. Old age was something too far into the future to worry about. It was only after I had reached about thirty that I began to think about age and I would occasionally ponder on what my life would be like when I reached fifty and sixty years of age. These days I just wonder how long I have got left. These are the thoughts we really need to bear in mind throughout our lives and live our lives accordingly for we never know what our future holds for us. It is of no use to dwell on the past, what has been is done and it cannot be changed. It is of no use dwelling about the future either for we know not if we will see even the next day. We have to live for today and enjoy it. It is fine to make plans for the future, to have goals and purposes in life but that is all they are. We may achieve them or we may not, we just don’t know. I can look back at my life now and see all the mistakes I have made and there are certainly areas of my life I would have changed at the time had I known then what I know now. There are things I have regretted doing and things I know I should have done had I been more determined. So I say to those following behind, make the most of your life and don’t hold back for one day you may regret it if you don’t. Be the best you can with what abilities you have and try things that challenge you for you will never know your full potential unless you try. There is no such thing as failure except the failure to try. It is my birthday today or I should say the anniversary of my birthday and I will enjoy it as any other day in my life for it isn’t a special day for me, they are all special days!
There is a battle going on outside between the wind and the sun and we are getting equal measures of both! Trouble is the wind has the greater effect upon us. It blows me sideways when I go outdoors and makes the day much colder than it would otherwise be, probably as much as ten degrees (Celsius) in some places. We were told earlier in the season that we might get more warm, even hot weather at the end of this month. Well that is only a week away and at the moment it doesn’t seem possible. One of the trees on view in the rear garden and which actually stands in the corner of the garden has brown leaves already, not because it is Autumn but because of wind burn! Strange as it may seem though nearby trees are not as affected yet they stand in the wind’s path too and one of them is of the same variety. I suppose we can’t complain about the wind as we live right on the coast. Taken all round we don’t have many wind-free days where we live though for most of the time the wind is not blowing hard. Today it is Sunday and I am happy to be staying indoors, tomorrow however I have to be out and about at least during the morning though that may have changed since I wrote this. I am keen to do some more work in the cellar. I have been mixing the mortar I need for laying bricks in the doorway by hand, by the bucket rather than using the cement mixer. It enables me to spent less time than I would have to on the work if I had a mixer full of mortar to use. More mortar in one go means laying of more bricks to use it up and with this particular job I can’t lay too many bricks in the same place. Nice excuse but in reality perfectly true. My personal life is being blown about somewhat too as E and I are still not talking after three weeks. I won’t go into details but it is symptomatic of my life at home in general as it has been over the last 25 years if the truth be known. Personally I hate the wind, it is the only element of the weather that I don’t like. In the same way the wind that blows in and out of my personal life is similarly despised. The one problem I face, we all face, is that there isn’t much we can do about the wind, except stay out of it!
Tonight in many parts of the world people will be celebrating the new year whilst presumably forgetting the troubles they had, if any, in the previous twelve months. They look forward to a better year ahead but probably will have forgotten those same feelings they had at the end of the previous year. Nothing has really changed and their lives are pretty much the same as it always was. They live in constant hope but never seemingly achieving complete happiness and satisfaction. One celebration leads to another but the outcome is always the same, they are left unfulfilled and still looking for a repeat experience. People search for something, anything, to fill their lives, they seek happiness in whatever way they can. What makes you happy? They say happiness is where the heart is, it is in those things which bring enjoyment and satisfaction. The problem is many people never find true happiness no matter what they try doing to achieve it. Their lives are a never-ending merry-go-round of parties, events, holidays, bars and restaurants and a host of other things. Happiness certainly is where the heart is. Whatever makes you happy in your heart and keeps you happy in your heart no matter what circumstance you find yourself in is the kind of happiness we cannot find in material things or even in people but is a spiritual thing. So ask yourself this question…..Are you really happy? If you are not then ask yourself why.
It was my birthday last Thursday and it passed by almost unnoticed. However be that as it may I don’t celebrate birthdays any longer and haven’t done for a few years, to me one day is the same as the next. As for celebrating a certain day I think that is quite pointless as I can celebrate anytime I wish to. We make some days special in our lives and forget the rest. To me, life itself should be celebrated every day by simply enjoying it and giving thanks for what I have, good health, well-being and provision. I have reached that stage in life where I take little interest in the material world and look forward to leaving this world for a better place. Whilst I am still here I feel at times an intruder, an alien who longs to return home but whilst here I try to make the most of my life, living it the way I feel is right. So I am another year older and am aware of my own mortality. My youngest son telephoned me to wish me a happy birthday and during the talk remarked jokingly that I was another year closer to death! Thanks son! I reminded him that he was closer too. Well of course he is right but I am not another year closer, I am another day, hour, minute closer with every breath I take. One of the disadvantages of getting older is the fact that we get tired more quickly when we are active and I am very active most of the time. I had a very busy week and even went to look at a small job on Saturday morning as it was close to my house. All I wanted to do was spend a little time doing nothing as I was tired. I got my wish. Now I am looking forward to another busy week it seems……………
Whether I have my advert in the paper or not seems not to make any difference lately for even though it hasn’t been in the paper for two weeks I have had enough work to make it worthwhile. On Tuesday I got up and dressed in what I call my ‘no intention’ wear, that is anything but the clothes I would wear for work. It made no difference as I got a call anyway and had to change late in the morning to go to work. The evening before I had received a call from a guy whom I had done electrical work for before and he asked if I would be interested in doing several jobs for him. He
installs gas boilers amongst other things but there is seldom a power supply to run the boilers near to hand. The jobs would be to wire an outlet or power supply for each boiler. The problem is that there are lots of boilers to do. I don’t particularly want the volume of work each week but I said I would do some of them as needed. So I went to the job and stood around for over an hour waiting for him to arrive at the house because he said the occupant would be at work but as it turned out the lady of the house was in. She seemed reluctant for me to start the work before the guy arrived so I waited until he did. I made my assessment of the job in hand whilst I waited. Eventually he arrived and after five minutes he was gone. It took me a mere fifty minutes to finish the job. I could have had it done before he arrived, The lady of the house couldn’t believe how quick I had been but was well pleased that I had made no mess whatsoever in doing it. When I got back home E had gone out somewhere so I got changed back into my no intention wear and dined out at my local pub. I had planned to go farther afield for my meal but decided I didn’t want to drive too far, which is probably what I would have done. It doesn’t matter anymore if E wants to be the way she is, I am fed up with her attitude and quite frankly have had enough. It leaves me with no companionship nor anyone to talk with most of the time for there is no-one in my life apart from her. She on the other hand has family living close by and she is part of a group of like-minded people who do competitions so she gets to meet with them once a month too. I know, I could join a club or something too but there are no such groups I know of which I would like to join just to be able to chat with people, it just isn’t me. The thing I like doing when not involved with my own interests is chatting with people and that is why I go to the pub. Why do you think I took to ‘blogging’? Nothing seems to matter anymore, it’s all a matter of time.