Oh well, I got it wrong.

Today is my ex’s birthday so yesterday I bought her a couple of presents. Both items of clothing, which she likes but unfortunately I bought the wrong size! You’d think I would have known the correct size now wouldn’t you? After all I have known her for almost 38 years! Seems some things go by the wayside. I erred on the right side though and bought smaller sizes than she wears. There will be no problem in changing them thank goodness. How many things do you get wrong these days? No doubt getting older has something to do with it and maybe in a few more years, if I survive that long, I will be getting everything wrong eh? LOL. In the meantime I stumble along getting it right once in a while………….

Shirley Anne

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Look into my eyes…

I was sitting watching television after returning from a brief spell of work and shopping (I was buying my ex. a birthday present). Anyway there I was relaxing before I having lunch. I was looking at two people talking. They were obviously old friends and were having an intimate conversation. One of the women, for they were women, had her back to the camera and all I could see was her friend’s face. As she was talking her eyes were darting about as she scanned her friend’s face. You could see the love she had for her just by watching her eyes. We all do this subconciously when we communicate with others but of course not all situations will be one involving love. We look into each other’s eyes and ‘see’ the person, not simply their face but their soul. We can discover volumes of information about somebody just by looking into their eyes. I have often wondered why this is so but we reveal clues about ourselves by the way our eyes react in different situations. Very slight variations can reveal many things about us. When we talk to somebody we don’t look at their feet, hands, arms or anything else, we look into their eyes and thereby their souls. We can tell if they are being honest with us or how sincere they are when we look into their eyes. This is where the real conversation or connection is made.
Look into my eyes…………………………….Love

Shirley Anne

The fire’s lit.

Tonight and feeling a bit cold, I lit my gas fire for the first time since early Spring. Daytime temperatures are just about bearable now but as night falls it is dropping to 10 deg. where I live. That is too cool to sit around in. I don’t mind cool weather personally or even cold weather but when I am at home sitting I don’t want to be wearing an overcoat! It will get colder though and it will be next year before I can turn down the heat. Here in the UK we have just been informed on the news that we can expect our fuel bills to rise by possibly 60% (relatively) over the next ten years. That will be a considerable rise. It isn’t really surprising though, we are used to mad price rises here. I find it strange that more effort isn’t being applied in developing sustainable electrical energy before it is too late. We have many wind turbine ‘farms’ producing ‘free’ energy. The only cost is the initial outlay and maintenance but the use of this kind of energy should drive down the cost to the consumer. There is a long way to go to make this and other systems such as hydro-electric stations really viable alternatives to nuclear or coal systems which have a negative impact on the environment. I may never see prices coming down in my lifetime, has anyone? One day things might improve but in the meantime, the fire’s lit to keep me warm!

Shirley Anne

Yet another one.

Driving through my home town this morning I was able to look more at the shops than I would normally otherwise be able to do. There wasn’t much traffic about in the main street and as I looked about I could see many of the shopping outlets closed due to the financial recession. This morning I saw yet another outlet closed which only a few days ago was trading. There are still many businesses making an effort and some appear to be doing better than others. I say ‘appear to’ because without knowing the real facts it could be that even they are struggling. Although things look gloomy, conditions could be worse and I don’t think we are experiencing as deep a recession as we have in the past but nevertheless some people must still be finding it difficult to survive. I am very fortunate in that I seem to be getting regular requests for my services. I suppose there wil always be those among us who have the spare cash to spend even in difficult times. I think this is what is needed to keep the economy moving. It is sad to see yet another shop having to close though because fewer people can afford those extra luxuries. One day all will be back to normal I guess but in the meantime we have to struggle on.

Shirley Anne

There is no escape!

Today I finished work at 12.15 so I decided to dine out for lunch. Those of you who know me will understand that this is something I do on a regular basis, I treat myself and my ex. to lunch. Today after an extended lunch I asked to be dropped off at my local pub for a couple of hours. That duly done I was having a nice time chatting to different people when, four hours later my ex. returned to collect me. Not at my request I might add but she said that I’d had a couple of phone calls at home regarding electrical work. So off I went home to follow up on the calls. There is no escape it seems. I am destined to work till I drop! Anyway I got the jobs and have scheduled them for tomorrow and next week. Well it pays for my beer tokens doesn’t it?

Shirley Anne

Rain, rain, rain……..I feel fine.

I got soaked today. Not surprising really, it hasn’t stopped raining all day but it has been quite warm and humid with it. Rain, rain, rain but I feel fine. I heard a remark from an English comedian on the television tonight and he was describing what the older generation talk about each time he met any of them. ‘All they talk about is how hot, cold, wet, damp, foggy, humid, dry the weather is’, he said. It is becoming the norm for many people to pass remarks about the weather. Try getting through the whole day without hearing someone you meet mention the weather or you yourself mentioning some aspect of it. You might be amazed at what you find. For a long time now I have decided that the weather is something we should simply accept. I got wet today but I feel fine. I didn’t give it a second thought. It was raining, I went out in it and I got wet. End of story. I didn’t rush back indoors and moan about it or even mention it but the occupant of the house simply had to say something. It’s like an obsession, it’s ingrained into some people’s exsitence, it’s something to talk about, it’s something to moan about. For heaven’s sake it’s just the weather!

Shirley Anne

Well we’re off again!

…And so starts another week on the treadmill. A bright and sunny Monday morning in October sees the start of my week. I’ve been out already and brushed my driveway clear of pine needles and fallen cones then off to do a small job, fill up my van with deisel and now back home chilling out. I have work scheduled on two days more this week, so far that is! I never know when somebody is going to call so I have to be at the ready. On Thursday evening I have arranged a dinner for six in a restaurant twenty or so miles away to celebrate my ex’s. birthday on Sunday. I am looking forward to that. We had more of us last year and had a great time eating, drinking and dancing the night away but this year we are only doing the meal……..and drinks of course!

Shirley Anne

The road to nowhere.

Sitting here and thinking about my life I am wondering where it is all heading. Where am I going? Living a life is first and foremost about survival. The rest of what we do is essentially less important. We must survive to continue to live. What we each do in our lives to meet that need is up to ourselves. We make plans for the future, not for the past or even for now, everything is for the future. So we go through the motions of everyday life to meet that need. When we are satisfied that things are under control and on track we turn our attentions to the other things in life to make our exsistence bearable. That could be any of a hundred and one things we do each day. At the end of the day though we are on the road to nowhere. Everything we do is meaningless but we have to do it anyway. There is no alternative. People have agendas and live their lives accordingly but in the end it is all futile. In the great scheme of things it is totally pointless. However we must toil and live out our lives and do what we must for at life’s short journey’s end we can do no more.
For more reading see Ecclesiastes (the whole book) in the Holy Bible. I dare you! In love

Shirley Anne x

The wind is up!

Today, in fact overnight too, it has been very windy but the sun is shining and the sky is blue. Sure sign that Autumn is finally here. Of all the different aspects of weather I think the wind, when it is high, is the most destructive. I don’t much care for the wind at all.
I was pretty tired last night and went to sleep listening to the wind whistling outside. It didn’t take long before I was in the Land of Nod though. So this morning when I awoke I didn’t feel like having a lie in. I decided to go out and buy some light fittings…..as you do! For many weeks now I have been thinking about having lights on my dressing table mirror for the dark mornings ahead. One light on the ceiling isn’t really sufficient when applying make-up but during the summer months when it is light early in the morning there is enough daylight to compensate. My dressing table is situated in front of the windows so that natural light is on my face. In the winter however, when I get up, it is still dark. So off I went and purchased two light fittings and returned to fit them. A bit of a wiring job and the making of two brackets saw the job finished and I tried them out. There are six lights in all, three each side but they are quite bright even though I’d bought low energy lamps. I also fitted a switch behind the mirror to switch them on but I think I might have to change that for a dimmer type! At least I’ll be able to see my face properly in the mornings now! By the way……….it’s still windy!

Shirley Anne

Not really sure.

On visiting my second job of the day I was met by an old couple who told me that they had seen my advert in the newspaper but that they also had a business card. They explained that the details on the card, the phone numbers, were exactly the same and that I’d been there about ten years ago doing another job. Ten years ago I was pre-op. and my plans to transition were still two years away therefore when I did the job I would have been presenting as a male. In fact they were right. Now then what was I to say? Well at first I wasn’t really sure. Should I explain about my transition for they seemed to be saying that they recognised it was me the last time? ‘Well’, I said, ‘that card isn’t mine but it’s the same business’. I gave them my new card which shows my name whereas the old card didn’t. They seemed a bit confused and said that they thought it was me who had visited the last time. ‘Ten years ago’? I enquired. ‘It wasn’t me, it must have been somebody else’, I continued. They then said that the guy who had done the job was really nice and they were very pleased with his work. I smiled and it was obvious to me that they now thought I was indeed not that person. What I couldn’t understand was that they saw my new advert in the newspaper and thought they would have a woman electrician for a change and yet when I arrived they had thought that I had been before. I think they must be mistaken about it being ten years ago. I think I actually did the job about six years ago when I’d gone through my transition. In either case I’m not really sure. I could have explained things but thought, ‘Why should I’? That has been my policy regarding my transition. I will only reveal on a ‘need to know’ basis.

Shirley Anne