I could have named the title for this post many other things, for example: invisibility, selfishness, ignorance, thoughtlessness to name but a few. To understand that you need to read on. The post is about a dream I had on Friday night a couple of weeks ago. In the dream I appeared to be on a night out with family, friends, colleagues and other acquaintances I have encountered throughout my life. The scene was set in a bar but it resembled a shop I once maintained in my capacity as an electrician and general dog’s body. The term dog’s body is probably an apt description of many areas of my life in regard to relationships and dealings with others, at least that’s how I have felt many times in my life. For some apparent reason I was buying the first round of drinks for those in my immediate circle that night, about eight or so of us. The bar was packed with people I knew both past and present but I wasn’t acknowledged by most of them. Oh they knew I was there and hadn’t forgotten me but they never spoke. I often was left feeling invisible in the presence of some people. The lady serving at the bar was or had been in real life the manageress of the shop in question. When she had served me the drinks they were too many to carry at once so I asked for a tray. I was ignored as she was by then serving someone else. It took ages for her to return and give me the tray. I tried to explain that the tray she had given me was unsuitable as it was too small but again she ignored me and served someone else. Eventually I received a much larger tray but it was soaking wet. I placed all the drinks upon it and a very large bottle of either tonic water or ginger ale, I couldn’t remember which, for myself. I took the drinks over to my party and they were taken without thanks or acknowledgement. I wasn’t even asked why I had taken so long to get them for it must have been twenty or more minutes since I went to the bar. It was as if they had forgotten I was even there. I had reserved a seat for myself a little distance from the rest before going for the drinks but on my return another girl was sitting there chatting with her boyfriend. I was left standing there with nowhere to sit. I returned to my party but all they wanted was some of my drink, which was still in the bottle, to add to their own drinks. I was I suppose only there to serve them and not have a drink to myself. They took it in turn to help themselves from my bottle without thanks or consideration and I was left standing there without a drink or anyone to talk to for they had resumed chatting amongst themselves. What can I say? I am invisible. That seems to be true in my real life too……….
It had been some time since I last remembered a dream I’d had but a few days ago I awoke during the night after dreaming this, another of my weird dreams. I used to live in Freshfield which is the northern part of a small township called Formby eight miles south from my present residence. Freshfield actually occupies almost half of the total combined township. There are two train stations, one in Freshfield and the other in Formby and they are around one mile apart on the same rail network line from Liverpool to Southport. I lived around a mile away from each of them. The one at Freshfield has a level crossing whilst the one at Formby has a road bridge over the tracks. Both stations are surrounded by housing estates. However, in this dream I was walking across a park toward the Formby station and I could see various people walking up and down the sidewalk that was on the road bridge. I was on my way to catch a train into Liverpool but I had spoken to my then boss who told me I would be able to join with him on the next train if I could get there in time. I had twenty minutes spare as I approached the road bridge. On the bridge I could see an ex-colleague who having seen me suddenly decided to increase his step hoping I wouldn’t see him. Why he did that I wasn’t sure for I hadn’t wronged him. I reached the bridge and walked over to the other side to take the train going south to Liverpool but instead of turning into the station I carried on walking as if unable to stop until reaching the bottom of the bridge. I had to turn and walk back but on the way I stopped at an open bar which sold fast food, something fried on a griddle like pancakes for instance. There isn’t such a place in Formby and never was. Anyway I was second in the queue for service but the woman behind the counter deliberately chose to ignore me and served the next customer instead. She knew I was trying to board the next train which happened to have turned up at that moment. It wasn’t a passenger train but one of those service trains used to carry out repair work on the lines. My boss was standing atop of the engine and called me to join him. I hasten to add he was never a train line worker in life and neither was I. He gave me a minute or two to collect my fried snack and I turned to the woman who refused to serve me. She was crying because she knew she was being nasty toward me but didn’t apologise. I turned away and boarded the train with the snack that someone else had served me. I woke up at that point.
There’s a lot going on in my mind lately. Most of what I think about is trivia, mundane stuff of everyday life but even so they play on my mind. The thing is I get ideas and if I don’t take action they remain floating around inside my brain until I do something about them. I think this is the main reason I get weird dreams. Much of the content in my dreams has nothing to do with what has been going on in my waking hours. I was talking with E about this a few days ago. I have a theory about dreams, their content that is. Throughout our lives we gain knowledge and experience of all sorts of things. During our waking hours or our conscious periods we rely upon that accumulated knowledge and experience to aid us in our day-to-day living. However, when we are asleep in our subconscious state there is little need to use most of that knowledge and experience. The information is still there of course and I think that when we sleep the subconscious state of our minds makes use of the information in dreams. When awake we can make sense of all the information we have but when asleep the information is used randomly and is often disjointed. In our conversation I likened it to the workings of a computer that was faulty. The ‘C’ drive in a computer is actually a very rapidly spinning disk on which is stored all the information we put into the computer. Reading heads collect the various stored data collating the information so that it can be used sensibly. As the data is often randomly stored the machine has to collect the information from wherever it is on the disk. The reading heads are controlled indirectly by the input from the user. When we are asleep we are unable to control anything. (Certain things our bodies do automatically happen whether we are awake or asleep). If the reading heads have no direction they cannot collect information. Our subconscious thoughts have no direction yet we can dream. Dreams are like random bits of information which join together in an attempt to make sense. They happen because there is nothing controlling them. I feel this is the reason so many of my dreams are weird.
I have this dream or parts of it on a fairly regular basis. It is centred around a very large house which has fallen into disrepair and has become quite dilapidated. It is several storeys high and has problems with its roof, there are large holes in it. The floors throughout the house are wooden and the stairways rickety and worn. On the upper floor on one side of the house is attached a veranda, a covered walkway open on one side to the elements. Reaching it is difficult. A narrow twisting stair leads to the end of the corridor of the veranda. There are holes in the wall and cobwebs everywhere. On the other side of the wall is a large hall where the holes in the roof can be seen. On the next floor below are several small rooms which can be reached using either of two staircases from the lower floors. Part of those stairways remind me of the old staircase in my primary school and in the dream if I walk them I think I am back in school. The lowest floor has numerous open spaces all covered in spiders webs and there are holes everywhere in the wooden floorboards. There doesn’t seem to be any windows or rather glass in the window frames and neither are there any doors on the ground floor. Initially in the dream the house stands on the side of a grassy hill and is surrounded with hedgerows. The house apparently has around forty rooms. Later in the dream when I am walking inside the house it now is located in the centre of a busy street in a town. People are walking along the sidewalk only a metre from the path surrounding the house yet they don’t notice the house or those in it, myself and unknown companions. In a recent dream I saw some small animals which at first I thought were mice eating something on the ground floor. As I drew near I saw that they were very small squirrels, mice-sized in fact! They scurried away and disappeared down one of the holes in the floor. Myself and some others went into the cellar rooms to see where they had gone and we discovered around thirty or so of them covering a corner in the room. They all ran outside through a hole in the wall and when I followed after them I saw myself at ground level facing the busy high street. No-one saw that I was there. That was the end of the dream.
Each time the house is in my dream I find it is different inside in some places. Its location is different and I find myself in different situations too.
I have to say that most of my dreams are odd. Read some of them in ‘My Dreams’ above. For quite a while I haven’t experienced or remember having a dream. Perhaps that is a good thing for I think it reveals I am not under stress or have any undue pressures upon me when awake. For me, dreams are a sign of a troubled mind or one that has too much on it! I had the dream on the night of Oct 30. Make of it what you will…
In this dream I was without gender, meaning I wasn’t sure if in the dream I was male or female. I had a small son, probably about six years old but for some reason I was expecting another child. There was an easel in front of me similar to some music stands that can be found but it had a flat metal plate which wasn’t turned up at the bottom as you would expect for a music stand. That meant anything placed on it would slide off except that there was some sort of lever at the bottom for releasing the plate from its stand. Why I had placed the new baby on the easel I couldn’t imagine but he was wrapped as tiny babies are when first-born. Now this was odd, he seemed to be about eighteen months old! Not only that but his brother whom also I was expecting at the same time as he was born arrived on the scene as if he had just left the womb! I had twins separated by eighteen months and a six-year old who appeared to be eighteen months old too! I remembered tilting back the easel so that the baby wouldn’t slide off yet the lever was big enough to have prevented that anyway. Though there were now three children I was acting as if there were only two.
I arose very early on Tuesday morning and was soon up and about though still remaining a little tired. I have had these feelings for quite some time, tired, listless, drained and not wanting to do anything but sit or lie down. I don’t give in to such thoughts of course, I keep active instead. One of the reasons I awoke was to do something about that tree stump in the front garden which stubbornly refuses any attempt to remove it. After breakfast I donned my overalls and gave it another go but was soon defeated, the saw made only a small amount of progress so I put it away. Attempt number two was a better idea. I took my cordless drill and a wood bit to the stump and drilled several deep holes in it. Next I poured into the holes some herbicide until they were full. Now all I have to do is wait and see if that gets results. Hopefully it will otherwise I will have to think of something else, a chainsaw perhaps? Anyway I returned indoors to chat with E who had just come downstairs for her breakfast. She’d asked what I had been doing so early in the morning and then we chatted about other things. I mentioned a dream I had dreamt but at first I couldn’t remember it’s content. Immediately upon waking I kept the dream in my thoughts in the hope I could write it down later as I usually do. In the dream I was visiting a building site, the house someone was building. On my arrival there I saw a tower of scaffolding standing about seven or eight metres high and I started to climb it in order to reach the person whose house it would become when finished. I thought it was extremely odd that this person, a guy, a colleague from my past was involved with such a project as that sort of work was foreign to him, he just wasn’t capable. His wife was with him and it seemed that she had more knowledge of what to do than he had. Just then the scaffolding fell away from the house, though it no longer appeared to be a house but an open-sided factory of some sort. I fell to the ground surrounded by the scaffold and severely injured. Somehow I managed to dig myself out and was furious with my ex-colleague. I somehow pushed the scaffolding back to its original position and upright as I argued with him. I have no idea where the strength to do that had come from! I then found myself carrying out some work before I woke up rather abruptly. Now what I am about to write you may find as strange as I did, I had blood on my night-clothes. It was fresh blood and was easily washed off (I washed the whole garment later) in the hand basin. I checked my body for evidence of any wounds and could not find anything! What can I say?
I wandered through the streets of dreams,
Of changing scenery,
And I could see in every place
A vision that was me.
It was as if my whole life through
Was there before my eyes,
Yet every part of that long dream
Did take me by surprise.
I wondered if my journey’s end
Would hasten unto me,
For I was being chased around
And wanted to be free.
My legs felt heavy, just like lead
My arms hung by my side,
The monsters now pursuing me
Left me no place to hide.
Yet as I looked into their eyes
I saw a glint of hope,
Until they took a hold of me……….
‘Twas then that I awoke!
Copyright Shirley Anne 9 Feb 04
Maybe you had a dream like that, maybe you have lots of them. Our dreams are trying to tell us something. I had a dream like this at some point before I wrote the poem and at a time when I was experiencing much turmoil in my life. I believe there are two types of dream. The first type is those which arise from our daily experiences, when in our subconscious dreams we attempt to make sense of what happens to us when we are awake. We may have troubles in our lives we find difficult to deal with and they end up giving us restless nights, bad dreams. Sometimes our lives are filled with happy times and we continue living them out in our dreams. The second type of dreams I believe are those in which we receive supernatural messages, messages from God. God says in His Word (Scripture, The Holy Bible) that men (mankind) will have visions and dream dreams. There are many instances of this throughout Scripture. It is one of the ways that God communicates with us. Not everyone will experience the second type of dream or if they do they may not recognise its source but everyone has dreams of the first type whether good or bad. In each case I believe dreams should be taken seriously because we can learn from them. Many of my own dreams or parts of them which I remembered are listed in my pages above. Some are old recurring dreams that change a little each time I experience them but I am never quite sure why I dream them over and over though years apart. Unresolved issues? Reminders? Sometimes we cannot know. Most of my dreams are simply strange and I cannot make head nor tail of them but I don’t worry about it. If I feel however that a message is being communicated I would like to think I will respond. How about you?
I cannot remember if I have been dreaming much these past few months for when I awake I cannot recollect any. That might be due to the fact that my sleep has been so deep it has been leaving me fully refreshed in the mornings. That it appears isn’t always the case for I woke up on Sunday morning after a very good night’s sleep and remembering vividly a dream I’d had.
I remember that in this dream I was on a plane heading for New York and travelling alone. On reaching customs I was thankful that they requested, as they normally do, the removal of my shoes for my feet needed a rest from wearing such high heels. However I soon had them on again and on my way into town. Somewhere along the way I decided I needed a coffee so I ended up in what I thought was a cafeteria but it seemed more like a hall you might find in a school or college with a counter at one end. Waves of people were coming and going to the counter. It was my turn to be served and I ordered a latté whilst fumbling for my purse. Having found my purse I realised I had only Englishbank notes and no dollars. The woman serving me was patient as I explained my predicament. Then I thought I would use a debit card instead and buy something to eat to justify its use. Alas I couldn’t find the card or any card apart from a few business cards I had in the bag. I seemed to be struggling throughout the rest of the dream and getting pushed and jostled by other customers who cared not that I had a problem. In the end I thought the woman might have given me the coffee as a kind gesture seeing I was struggling to find a way to pay her but she didn’t. I cannot remember if I was still in the establishment when I realised where my card was, in fact where all of my cards had been, in the metal enclosure in the rear zipped compartment of my bag safe from pick-pockets and scanning devices. Did I get my drink? I will never know for at that point I woke up.
Have I got shoes like the pair shown? Well, yes, five pairs actually. LOL
I get myself into all sorts of places and situations………..in my dreams! A few nights ago I had another of my weird dreams in which many unusual things happen. The first thing I remembered about the dream was being inside an attic room, no ordinary attic room, in fact it didn’t look like one at all. The room had a high ceiling and that made it difficult to see for the lighting was poor too. It seemed like the room was a lounge of some sort though it was dusty and dirty as you might expect up in an old attic. The furnishings, if you could call them by that name were many years old and appeared to date from the 1930 to 1940 era. It seemed they had never been cleaned since either. An old carpet lay on the floor and there appeared to be dark curtains hanging at one end of the room to obscure what lay behind them. There was a small kitchen dining table with chairs and an armchair in front of them. Beyond on the far wall behind was a door. The area in front of the door was well-lit. The door was slightly ajar and I could hear people talking. A man walked into the room which took me by surprise. It turned out he was the owner of a nightclub which for some unknown reason was attached to my house. I asked what he was doing in my attic and he apologised and left but other people had followed him into the attic and were making themselves at home. I ushered them out too. It was then that I noticed someone asleep under a blanket. I couldn’t make out if he was on a bed or a couch or even if he was on the floor but I nudged him several times to wake him up. As I was doing that E had popped her head into the room through the trap door in the floor beneath which was a stairway to the house below. The trap door was very small and it seemed the attic room had not been visited much from anyone in the house in the past for that reason. It explained why people using the nightclub felt they could meander about up there without interference. The person under the blanket was an old homeless man who had somehow found refuge up there but I told him to leave. As he revealed himself I saw that he had long pointed ears of the type you might imagine a goblin to have. His nose was long too and his face was covered in large pimples and bumps. He certainly looked like a goblin out of a fairytale. A mouse scurried from beneath the blanket toward E who to my complete surprise took hold of it and began to stroke it as you would a pet. I doubt she would do that in life. I scared it off and then disposed of it. The attic was now empty and I bolted the door which led to the nightclub so that no-one could use it again. That was the last thing I remembered from the dream as I awoke for the day.
I have not written much lately about my dream experiences and I have not written about premonitions before today. I probably have had a few dreams since I last wrote about them but as I couldn’t remember any of them I couldn’t write about them. Even now as I recall a dream I had on Thursday night there isn’t much to report about it. The main point and most vivid recollection of that dream follows. In our house we have what is called ’tilt and turn’ double-glazed windows which enable us to partially open them for ventilation by tilting them inwards at the top. If we want to open the windows wide we have to place the window back in the frame and then by turning the handle the window then hinges at the side and can be opened fully inwards. This makes cleaning them far easier whilst at the same time freeing us from the necessity of hiring a window cleaner. The point is that the windows open inwards from the inside. Now in this very brief account of my dream I was standing on the landing at the top of the first flight of stairs from the ground floor (there are cellars below), the landing directly outside the main bathroom. There is a large window there which looks out toward the west and our immediate neighbour’s house. I cannot remember why I was standing there but I was wearing my nightie as if I had just arisen to visit the toilet. I was still in bed of course as this was part of the dream. As I lifted the net curtain (drapes) to look out into the darkness I saw something which frightened me a little but I couldn’t see its form. Although the window was closed with the handle in the locked position the window suddenly opened and slowly I was pushed back into the corner and trapped. I tried to resist but the unseen force was too strong and I stood there feeling helpless. I cried out to E who for some reason had come part-way up the stairs as evidently she had been downstairs and was still dressed. At first she tried to poke the unseen force with her wooden walking stick but as she got closer she reached out her hand and tried to feel what was there. She could feel nothing and her hand reached the glass. I on the other hand had to put some effort into pushing the window closed but I was then free. That is all I remember about the dream.
Over the last few years I have noticed that sometimes I get a thought in my head about a forthcoming event as if I was being informed before it happened. The events themselves have been nothing significant and probably unworthy of mention, mundane things of little importance but unusual to say the least. If you were to ask me to recall them I probably couldn’t as I wrote nothing down and they have drifted from my memory because of their insignificance. However, on Friday I was walking to the chemist (pharmacy) to collect some medications and a thought popped into my mind that when I arrived there I would receive a phone call. I received that call as I had thought I would. I wrote about it in yesterday’s post. Because it seemed so significant and because it wasn’t the first time I have experienced such things I am going to try to write down any further premonitions if and when I receive them.
I’ll wager you will be thinking when reading this post that it is all about shopping but although the subject is a part of the post the post is actually about a dream I had in the small hours of Monday morning. For the first time in quite a long time I found myself out shopping with E and we were loading up a shopping trolley with frozen foods of all types but mainly confectionery and bread. As we tried to leave the store we discovered more ‘special offers’ on sale and added these to the trolley. E wanted to stand around and chat but I was impatient and just wanted to get the goods safely in our vehicle and drive home to store it before it began to thaw. Finally we were both outside but it was dark as though it was in the middle of the night. I know some stores are open for twenty-four hours so it wasn’t surprising to find ourselves out shopping at that hour, even so it was unusual. It was a warm night too and therefore all the more important we didn’t hang about. For some reason the car park wasn’t outside the store, it was a car park surrounding an establishment where I once worked! I couldn’t figure out why that was. I couldn’t figure out why our vehicle wasn’t actually ours but that belonging to our eldest son who handed us the keys as we came to load the food in the boot (trunk). Although it was a large vehicle, one you might expect to have a large rear compartment, it didn’t, in fact the opening to the small boot was small too and we found it difficult to get the trays into it. I couldn’t understand why the food was on trays, especially the confectionery but that didn’t matter to E who just squeezed everything in, squashing everything in the process. However, we couldn’t close the lid and I was getting more and more irritated by E’s lack of concern or interest. I am not sure what the outcome was in all of this for at that time I woke up.