Tiredness, weariness, fatigue, boredom, routine, lethargy, disinterest are among the things which affect me at some point and if it isn’t the one it’s the other. If something holds my interest I am happy enough but I find now that there is less I find interesting with each passing day. If I’ve a project to do I am happy but only if things go well and to plan. Even so, I get bored with projects too believe it or not and I have days where I simply cannot be bothered or I’ve had enough for a while. I get days where I just cannot make the effort to do anything. Monday (21) was such a day. I knew before I got out of bed that I didn’t want to be doing anything though there were things to be doing if I chose. I was tired and weary the moment I awoke and I wanted to go back to sleep but couldn’t. Once I wake up I find it extremely difficult to go back to sleep and after a short time I have to climb out from beneath the sheets. I was looking forward to a blank canvas with nothing to do or rather no intentions of doing anything. I enjoyed breakfast and watching tv whilst eating it. I switched on the computer to check my mail and switched it off again. I went into the garden to water the plants again which I find relaxing because I don’t need to do much but stand and direct the hose!
I went indoors to make a cup of coffee and returned outside to sit drinking it in the bright warm morning sunshine. My thoughts were all over the place and I couldn’t sit there long. I decided to get my guitar and sit on the bench in the front garden playing it for a while and then it was lunch time, early because I’d eaten an early breakfast but it was by then twelve-thirty. After lunch I sat on the sofa and had a cat nap. E had gone to rest on the patio and I went for a walk down to the beach. I sat on top of the dunes looking out to sea and along the beach. Very few people were there during what was after all a working day for most so those I saw were either elderly and obviously retired or women taking their dogs for a walk. As I sat my thoughts turned to the days when I often used to run through the dunes or sat there just contemplating life. I was doing just that on Monday afternoon too, contemplating life. I remembered times when I would call my friend or she would call me on my mobile phone as I sat on the dunes enjoying an afternoon free from work. She never calls me now though I have tried contacting her. She moved to the south coast a few years ago. After an hour or so I walked back home asking myself what is the point of it all? I often thing about the futility of life, that is the things we get involved with during our lives and ponder why it is we do them. We acquire wealth, a house, a family, a job, we take holidays and at the time enjoy it all. I reflect on King Solomon‘s struggle with the same issues and what conclusions he drew from it all. ‘Meaningless, everything is meaningless’ he said and all we can do is to fear (revere) God and enjoy our work and our lives as best we can. So what’s up with me I ask myself?
I pride myself as being reasonably fit and healthy for someone my age but once in a while I feel run down and weary. The key word here is weary. I arose early on Friday to keep a couple of appointments for electrical work. I didn’t really feel like getting out of bed even though I’d had a very good night’s sleep. Once up and dressed I felt fine but after breakfast a kind of lethargy took hold of me. My first appointment at nine o’clock was in an apartment near to home and I was there for an hour. I felt drained of energy when I’d finished the work though none of it was hard to do. I took a leisurely drive to the second appointment a couple of miles distant. When I arrived the lady of the house asked how I was and I told her that I was feeling a tad weary. She suggested I take time out and have a holiday after I had mentioned I hadn’t had a real holiday for eight years. Again the work wasn’t difficult and I was there for an hour. It was now 11.15 and I was glad my work was over for the day, for the week and all I wanted to do was rest. I didn’t drive home however but went to my local pub/restaurant for a meal. I arrived there at 11.30 but had to wait until noon before it opened for business. I parked the van and sat reading while I waited. I was so happy to get inside and have a soft drink whilst I decided what to have for lunch. I’d had porridge along with fruit and a fruit drink for breakfast so shouldn’t have felt hungry for a few hours. I found myself somewhat hungry by then nevertheless. The meal helped a little to make me feel better but by the time I had arrived back home the feeling of weariness had returned. I spent the afternoon lounging about either on the patio or on the couch in front of the television. My ‘get up and go’ had certainly got up and gone. The work I have been doing at home has taken more out of me than I had realised I guess. The weather forecast for the weekend looked promising so I promised myself I would make the most of it, not to work but just to relax and do nothing for a change. Maybe I’ll think about having a proper holiday…………..maybe.
Whenever I am feeling tired this song plays in my mind. Hardly surprising I suppose. I think my lifestyle is catching up on me though, the work I mean. Over the last couple of days I have felt drained and not wanting to do anything that means getting out of an armchair yet at the same time I am ready to work and go out of my way to do it. The strange thing is that when I am working I feel great. It is only when I stop do I feel tired. I am at my best when doing some work. Over the weekend just passed I had done next to nothing, the only exception was the planting of some flowers in the new flowerbed and in fact E did half the work anyway. It must have taken us a whole ten minutes! So on Monday morning I was glad that I had an electrical job to do about a mile from home. Actually it was a few small jobs rather than just the one. They didn’t take me long to do and I spent more time chatting with the lady than what I had spent doing the work. It pretty much took up the morning and I was home for lunch. A few weeks ago whilst sitting on the throne in the new bathroom upstairs I noticed that one of the lights flickered when first turned on and I forgot all about it until last Monday and as I had some spare time I investigated the matter. I found that the cable connections could be tightened and I think that was the problem for the light seems okay now after my tightening them up. That took a whole five minutes too. I was bored. I am waiting for an improvement in the weather so that I can construct the other two flowerbeds on the patio. I am waiting for an opportunity to start refurbishing one of the bedrooms but until my two sons let me know what of their possessions stored in there do they actually want to keep! We need a small skip (dumpster) to dump some of it, beds, chairs, cases, all sorts of rubbish no longer required. So I have things to do but cannot do them and in the meantime…………………….
It is now Tuesday, well it was a couple of days ago, and I am sitting at home at eleven in the morning and I am absolutely wacked. Yesterday, that is Monday, I finished off the remainder of the chilli-con-carne I’d made the previous day. I boiled some fresh rice to go with it. It was late in the afternoon as I had missed lunch because of a job I had to do. Apart from some fruit I had later that was all I ate for the remainder of the day. I went to bed a little early as I had to get up for an early appointment in another town. I found that I had some trapped wind which made me feel very uncomfortable but gradually I began to expel it. Unfortunately I kept producing more and my stomach by now was hurting a lot. It kept me awake for hours. On top of that I was getting cramp in my feet, something I seem to be getting a lot of lately. I have been told that the cramp is due to inactivity rather than the other way round. My knees were hurting too whilst I was lying down but stopped whenever I got out of bed and get out of bed I did, about six times to relieve my bladder! It was almost as if I’d drank huge amounts of liquid but I knew I hadn’t. It all served to keep me awake most of the night and by six o’clock, when I had to arise, I felt really lousy. No matter. I spent time in prayer, got washed and dressed and went downstairs ostensibly to have my breakfast but I was still feeling poorly in my stomach although not as bad as it had been during the previous few hours. No sooner as I got downstairs but I had to return upstairs to the toilet again. It was a while before I could leave the bathroom! I forewent breakfast and simply had a glass of milk which seemed to settle me somewhat. Eventually I was on the road to my appointment, not a big job but it proved not to be straightforward, in fact it was proving to be one of those jobs where everything went wrong. I managed to finish it and off I went to another appointment back in my own town but I had to wait almost three-quarters of an hour for the client to appear. Not her fault as we had arranged to meet at a certain time, I had completed the first job well within time. The reason I had to attend on the first job so early was to accommodate that client who had to go to work before nine o’clock. So there I was sitting in my vehicle trying desperately to keep myself from nodding off to sleep! Eventually my client arrived and I did the small job for her, basically disconnecting an old circuit and checking on one or two other minor things in the apartment she was letting out. I got back home before ten-thirty and the rest is history I suppose. Here I am sitting down, feeling much better after eating a banana and drinking a large glass of milk but I am sure struggling to keep my eyes open!
Yesterday I awoke full of beans and ready for anything but as things turned out I did next to nothing! To be honest I was totally out of the game and really tired. Perhaps this was due to my night out on Friday but I am thinking otherwise. I don’t usually have feelings of tiredness the day after a night out. I think my workload has caught up with me. That being the case I thought it wise to simply rest for the day. Tomorrow I have electrical work to do and the same on Tuesday and Wednesday, hopefully all of them restricted to a couple of hours each. I am not sure what I will be doing today even though there are plenty of things to do.
The weather has been sunny but cooler than expected because of the wind so sitting out in the garden hasn’t really been an option which is such a shame because it looks inviting! E has been working in the garden though regardless of the wind. She doesn’t seem to mind the weather when she has things to do in the garden as long as it isn’t very bad or raining. It does make a difference when the sun is shining.