I sometimes push myself too much I know I do. It’s not about trying to keep fit and active nor about trying to keep pace as I once did when young for I know my limits. This is how I was not so long ago, about thirteen years ago and before….
I place my feet upon the floor About two thirty in the morn, When most folk are asleep in bed I wash my face and clear my head, The stars are shining in the sky As I begin to exercise. It is so hard, it must be said To rise up early from my bed, And so I start my morning run And tell myself I’m having fun, At first it is so very hard But eases as I go along, Till finally I’m back at home And still find that I’m all alone, I have to wait almost an hour Before I’m cool enough to shower, Then rest? No I’ve no time to shirk, I dress and then go off to work.
Copyright Shirley Anne 4 Aug 03
Nowadays and since retiring from my old occupation I try not to do too much but sometimes I fail and sometimes I am forced to slow down. I have been very active at home since retiring and of my activities can be read in this blog. My latest project concerns the rear door of the garage in which my van is parked. Outside that door I have just completed alterations to the concrete ramp and now I am in the middle of replacing the door and positioning the new one further back. If you’ve been following my latest posts you will know what is involved. The first two days of this week (25-26 March) saw me installing a new door frame and constructing the new door which as of today (27 th) has yet to be completed. In fact I took the day off from the project all together because I was feeling under the weather. ‘Right’ I told myself after returning from my morning walk earlier than usual, ‘Give yourself a break or run the risk of wearing yourself out’. I had a headache anyway and was generally feeling a little tired. Took the break I did and felt much the better for it. Sometimes you have to discipline yourself. Hopefully tomorrow will find me returning to my labours, at a slower pace!
It was eleven o’clock in the morning when I went out for my first walk in days on Wednesday (16 th). I had been suffering with aches and pains in both my lower back muscles and my buttocks. Walking actually doesn’t appear to aggravate the situation but on my return home four and a half miles later I felt awful. After preparing lunch I was glad to be able to sit down for a while . Raising myself from a seated position however has been really painful. It’s as if my muscles are on strike. As E has difficulty in getting about it is imperative that I am available to do the things she finds difficulty in doing. Even simple things like taking out the garbage or sweeping up leaves in the garden she leaves to me. When I am fit and well I take it all in my stride. Fortunately the major projects I have been engaged in doing have come to an end so I can take time out to rest but it isn’t always possible. I can hear my dad saying ‘you’ll just have to grin and bear it’. How right he was. It is no use grumbling or moaning when things need to be done and this is why I say it even when I am at my best. It is that time of year when certain plants begin to grow and especially those you don’t want like weeds. After all my efforts in removing bluebells (and montbretia) from the gardens two years ago there are still some which persist. On my return from my walk and before I went indoors for lunch I set about removing some I had seen in the front garden flowerbeds. I will be trying to curb my enthusiasm for finding things to do for my muscles’s sake, until there is an improvement of course.
My experiences with computers have been somewhat of a pain the proverbial over the years. They either work very well, occasionally have tantrums or simply refuse to work as they should. Well the latest problem has been with my tablet. I have two lap-top computers, the one I am writing this post with, the Acer which is running Windows 7 and the other a HP which is running Windows 10. The latter gathers dust most of the time because I prefer Windows 7 which is far easier to use and isn’t cluttered with useless applications. It is practically new even though it is two years old as it hardly gets used. The other computer I own is the tablet a Samsung Nexus 10 which is running one of the Android platforms. Well it was running until recently. It was used mainly for taking photos or for tuning the guitar though it was capable of much more. Suddenly I found it wasn’t starting up properly and kept booting up then shutting down. Having done a factory reset the problem still remained. I did suspect the battery to be faulty and it may still be and I will get that checked when I’ve the time. In the meantime I thought I would treat myself to a new tablet so I purchased a Lenovo of the same physical size but running the latest Android program. It may arrive before Christmas but that doesn’t matter. All I want is something reliable.
So no more taking pictures for a week or so until it arrives. Today is Thursday 20 th and I have taken another break from work. I had been to do the shopping earlier in the day and on returning home felt miserable with aches and pains from head to chest. I guess it may have been the weather and a lack of food though I had eaten breakfast. It is mid-afternoon now and I am feeling great but it is too late to be starting work so I hope that tomorrow morning I will be able to continue with the hallway in the cellar which has been coming along quite nicely.
‘I’m sorry Shirley Anne but it’s just got to go’, I told myself on Thursday morning. It was a very miserable day on Thursday just as it had been a couple of days earlier, wet and windy, very windy. I had gone to bed the evening before feeling rather down and tired and hoped the new day would be an improvement but it wasn’t. I was feeling a little down because I was tired and some of the events in the day had given me some irritation. It had been one of those days as we say. So Thursday promised better things but it didn’t fare that way for me. In the first place I woke up with a horrible bout of Cystitis and all that comes with it. I have an interim solution for Cystitis which helps until I can get some medication if I haven’t any to hand but it only helps soothe the burning sensation and kill the surface bacteria. It was enough to allow me relief until I went shopping later. However, back to the foul weather. No matter what I tried to hold down the tunnel structure over the patio the wind loosened it and I would have to try something else. There was no way I would get the upper hand and I knew it. When the weather is less windy all is fine but the wind destroys and shows no mercy. Did I mention I hate the wind? Well I do. So what’s got to go? The tunnel. As soon as the weather would allow I would be out there removing it and mark it down as a failure. What would take its place? Well I mentioned that I think in yesterday’s post. Two tee-pees or wigwams if you prefer would replace the one tunnel and should hopefully withstand the wind better. Oh the joys of gardening eh? I did no work on Thursday for not only did I have nether regions problems but I was feeling the effects of maybe a cold but definitely the bad weather.
After feeling a little under the weather yesterday I awoke this morning feeling full of energy.
No walks today though as I don’t take walks every day but perhaps three or four times a week. The weather hasn’t improved however, in fact if anything it is worse today than it was yesterday. It is much windier and it appears to have been raining more often through the night. Just letting us know that Autumn is near. This weekend in the UK is another Bank Holiday and many will say that is why the weather is so bad! It isn’t true that whenever there is a Bank Holiday the weather turns nasty but it does quite often. I’m not going anywhere, I am staying at home and keeping out of the weather at least for today. I am still awaiting delivery of one of the three items I ordered last week, one of the bundles of bamboo cane, the larger canes. The projected delivery dates were between the 20 th and 23 rd but today is the 24 th. Hopefully it will be delivered today but I have to remain at home to accept it. It is not yet six-thirty in the morning as I write this but I haven’t been idle. Today I decided to bake a fruit cake, something I haven’t done for quite a few months.
Maybe that is because home baking and the warmer months of the year don’t mix. I suppose we think more about baking and the comfort foods we tend to eat only in the cooler months of the year. That maybe true but I like cake any time of the year though I do confess I eat more of it during Winter. I love the smell of home cooking especially when cakes are being baked. Visiting someone’s house when they have been baking something makes their home more inviting. They say that prospective house buyers can be influenced by the smell of home baking as it reflects in their minds what the house would be like if they lived there, homely. Whether that is true or not is a matter of conjecture but it does encourage a feel good factor. I feel even better having baked my cake this morning anyway.
A couple of months ago I had to pay the doctor a routine visit for a fungal infection on my big toes. Whilst there she advised I have another blood check but as I wasn’t at that time due for such a test she post-dated it. On Friday (27 th) I visited the nurse at the surgery to give a blood sample and as it was for lipid levels I couldn’t eat anything for twelve hours prior to the sample being given. It turned out that I hadn’t eaten for seventeen hours by the time I was at the surgery. Naturally I was feeling quite hungry on my return home. Even so I didn’t eat more than I would normally do at breakfast (break-fast). As the appointment was for eight-fifty the first thing I ate was at breakfast time, though a little belated breakfast time for me. The danger in fasting is the temptation to over-indulge when the fast is over. It sets the trend for more overeating and we end up putting on weight. If we eat too much at a sitting our stomach stretches to accommodate the food so that at the next meal we feel the need to fill it too much once more else we still feel hungry. If our stomach is full we feel satisfied therefore it is sensible to eat small amounts frequently rather than gorging down large quantities which stretch the stomach. Obviously the type of food we eat is important too if we are to feel satisfied. In today’s society, here in the UK at least, we are faced with encouraging signs to eat more instead of eating sensibly. A point in question, I have found that most of the ‘fish and chip’ shops I have visited throughout my life encourage us to eat more by supplying larger portions of chips than we actually want. When I have asked for a smaller portion I find the person serving me has difficulty in doing that. It is as if they have to give large portions to justify the prices they charge. Why not supply smaller portions at a lower price for those who want them? If there is someone with me, like E for instance, we buy one portion and share and even then there is often too much in the portion. Is it any wonder people are becoming overweight when because they receive larger portions they feel the need to eat it all? It would seem a waste otherwise wouldn’t it? Feeling hungry is one thing but feeling a large waist is another!
It’s to not myself I am referring but my next-door neighbour. If my readers will remember I mentioned she had been taken to hospital in an emergency after she had difficulty in breathing. She had been and still does rely on her oxygen bottles else she would die. Her condition has been brought about by smoking and not being able to desist after being repeatedly told by her doctor to stop. She is I think around 81 years of age. After being informed she would be coming home then later told she would have to stay in hospital and later still that she would have to spend the rest of her days in a care home. Finally on Monday last (4 th) she came home late in the afternoon. E and I didn’t pay her a visit until the following day that is after she had settled in. Though she is at home she receives palliative care and is visited daily by care workers and a district nurse who visits less frequently. E and I visited her again today, that is Sunday as I write. She is upbeat about her situation and for someone who is seriously ill she is as lively as ever. Physically she has lost quite a lot of weight though she wasn’t well-built in any case beforehand. Whilst we talked with her she kept losing her breath even though she had her oxygen supply. Any exertion, even slight and she is gasping for air. It is a sad affair but little more can be done for her other than what she receives. She is always happy to see us though and we keep her laughing and in good spirit. Obviously we help in any way we can. She hinted that she would like the tv up on the wall so I told her I would fit a shelf to take it. Buying a special wall bracket, if one could be purchased for that tv would be too expensive and not worth it. I will also help her son to remove the old and faulty built-in fridge/freezer so we can install the replacement unit. Both jobs are simple and shouldn’t take long to do. E and I will continue to keep an eye on her and help as we are able.
With me I am never sure what I want to do on any particular day though when there is a project on the go I usually have a set plan. At the time of writing this there is still work to be done in the cellar but because E is limited in what she can do I have to do the things she would normally do herself and cannot get on with my own work. If I am not shopping I am taking her to her appointments and have to wait to bring her back home. Yesterday afternoon though I decided a meal out was due as we hadn’t dined out for some time. We went to our local pub this time and had a really great time. Today (Wed 16) for instance I had to take her to the hospital in the afternoon and stayed there for over an hour. I had an appointment with the dentist myself in the morning and also spent time on the exercise equipment later. I ended up scratching around trying to get at least some work done in what time I had left. So for a while this is how it is going to be but I will make an effort to get my projects done despite that. Tomorrow morning I have to do the weekly shopping and maybe after lunch I will take a trip to the garden centre to buy some more tree bark chippings and then spread it out in the flowerbeds. I mentioned to E that I would be taking a walk tomorrow morning but then realised I had to do the shopping. Maybe there should be more hours in the day! I did manage to cut the piece of wood that will form the threshold for the cellar storage room and paint it ready for fixing to the floor. I also managed to cut off the excess carpet where the threshold is to be fitted. Yes, there are carpets in three of the cellar rooms but they are only there because new carpets replaced them in the rooms above where they had been and it seemed like a good idea at the time. I suppose I must be grateful that I am able to do anything at my age having seen the plight of many of similar age stuck in hospital or visiting as out-patients. Speaking of hospitals, our next-door neighbour was supposed to be returning home last week then early this week and now as I write they say it will be Friday. Having told her son that she would receive palliative care the doctors changed their minds regarding her condition and cancelled the care last week. Yesterday he was told that her life expectancy was again put below three months and as a result she will get the palliative care at home after all.
All the things I feel I want to get on with I find I am unable to and other things which sometimes or otherwise take second place I find I am doing instead. Work on my little project for the last week or more has been stop and go and at the time of writing this (on the 10 th) it is still in abeyance. To complete the work, which is only to paint the floor and that won’t take long, I need a mask for protection. As my readers will already know I ordered one days ago but have still to receive it. That in itself isn’t a problem but I wish it will come soon so that I can write off the work. Normally I would just get on with other things but even there I find I am prevented from moving on. The reason for that has been due to my taking on other responsibilities, things which E would normally be doing had she not been incapacitated. Today I had to get in the weekly shopping and ferry her to her appointments so there was little time for anything else. I am not complaining about having that responsibility, I am happy to be able to help her even if it does mean I have to put on hold my little jobs. She is making good progress with her back problem and hopes to be back in circulation soon. Her spinal problem is another matter but she has been coping with that as best she can. It is her muscular back pain which is currently the main issue. After lunch today I was able to do a little gardening maintenance and E came out to see what I was doing.
A few days ago I planted some seeds in the greenhouse and wondered if any of them would grow for the seeds were old. I planted flowers, tomatoes and beetroot but at this moment only the beetroot seeds have sprouted, all twenty-six of them! E decided we should pot them on into larger pots and she took charge of that and I became the assistant. The plan is to plant them in one of the flowerbeds between the other plants but only when they are large enough not to be mistaken for weeds! Now E had already planted some melon seeds in several small pots with my assistance and some of them have begun to grow. We are hoping they might produce fruit later in the year and of course they will have to remain in the greenhouse to give them a fighting chance. So although I am not doing much on my projects just now at least I am getting something done and E is benefiting by getting involved with outdoor jobs too.
….and tomorrow a new month. I write this on the last day of April. It is Monday and the start of a week of unknowns. Despite not having any definite plan for the day I was very busy. I had ordered clothing, floor paint and a cordless vacuum cleaner but only one of those was scheduled for delivery that day, the vacuum cleaner. I wanted the paint delivering as soon as possible so that I could finish the cellar storage room project. As I write this I still have no idea when it will arrive. The clothing should be here within the next couple of days. There was a small amount of painting to do around the door on the inside of the store-room which was the first thing I did. Following that I went into the front garden and using a watering can and soluble plant food I fed all the plants, dug out weeds then swept the pathways. It was approaching lunchtime when that was done so I stopped work and went indoors just in time to unpack and assemble the new vacuum cleaner. I am considering purchasing another for use on the upper floors but will see how this one performs first. After lunch I made myself busy by first of all sweeping up the leaves, lots of them, from the paths in the rear garden then mowing the lawn. Next, I got out the hoe and gave the flowerbeds a make-over removing the weeds. It was late afternoon when I had finished and I spent an hour in the sunshine relaxing on the patio. When I returned indoors our next-door neighbour’s son called to update us on his mom’s condition. Late on Sunday afternoon she had been rushed to hospital with a collapsed lung and could hardly breathe. She has advanced emphysema and relies on her oxygen bottles to get through the day. The prognosis wasn’t good and the doctors thought she wouldn’t survive. Her son was calling to let us know that she had perked-up somewhat and could possibly return home. She is at death’s door and the doctors practically indicated that so even if she can return home she would need palliative care. For the moment she remains in hospital. We invited our neighbour’s son inside for a chat and he stayed awhile. That was basically my day and I was tired after it all.