After a cold and quite miserable weekend it was refreshing to have a much better day on Monday. The sun was shining and it was a little bit warmer, not much but enough to be noticed. According to the forecast the week ahead was only going to improve with temperatures around 10 C. I had spent the afternoon at the pub on Sunday to cheer myself up and treating myself to a meal in the process. I had done no work at home or elsewhere over the weekend and was ready for any work that might come my way. I did one small job on Monday morning which has led to more work in the near future, to install a power outlet and to replace a floodlight. I appeared to have made a good impression on the couple who I was visiting. They had moved to Southport last year having lived their whole lives in Manchester some 40 miles away though I didn’t ask why. Southport is a small town compared to Manchester which is a large city more like London. Anyway I sorted out their problem which had been a fault in the switches controlling the light in their lounge and returned home. Before I went indoors I got the kneeling stool from the garage and dug out a few bluebells that had appeared in three of the flowerbeds in the front garden. They just don’t give up do they? I went indoors and prepared some vegetable and chicken stew and while doing so received calls for more work. Things are looking up. The extra cash will come in handy as I have annual vehicle expenses to fund at the end of this month, MOT and service with any repairs that might ensue together with insurance and road fund licence to pay for. The afternoon? I was called out to yet another small job and was able to put some more cash into my ‘piggy bank’ and later received more requests for work. As the weather improves I will make the effort to finish digging out the bluebells in the rear garden, well the bulk of them at least. I know there will be more.
On Thursday morning I had to keep an appointment with a lady who lives a couple of miles from me. She needed some electrical work doing and she had telephoned me a couple of days previously apologising for the state of her house in advance. Now I work in all sorts of places and have seen almost every situation you could imagine when doing my job. There was only ever one time whereby I refused to work in a house. The house had been let into apartments and the task was to completely rewire the whole house. At that time, around 45 years ago, I was working for the local electricity supply authority. I visited the premises and immediately left to telephone the depot that I was refusing to work in the house. The house was an absolute mess, it stank of stale urine in most of the rooms, there was evidence of cockroaches and mice dotted about and how anyone could have lived there was beyond me. My supervisor came to see what the problem was and agreed with me that I shouldn’t have to work in such conditions and the job was cancelled. There has only been one other incident that came anywhere near that one and that was when I visited an old lady a year or two back to do some small jobs for her. I wrote about it on here. She had a house full of cats that were left to come and go as they pleased and left a mess everywhere, and I mean a mess! Her house was filthy and neglected too just as she was. I felt sorry for that old lady because she had a mental problem, no-one to help her and she refused any help she might otherwise have received from the authorities, although I blame them for not being more forceful in seeing that she got the help she required. So two very dirty households, the former being by far the worse. The owners of the first house were just being lazy and were quite capable of getting the property habitable whereas the old lady was not really responsible due to her mental condition. When I went to do the job on Thursday I wasn’t quite sure what to expect but as it turned out the house just needed cleaning out properly and some money being spend on redecoration. Her situation, having been divorced some years back, had left her financially at a loss with two sons to rear. Her sons were now young adults, one with a good job but the other suffering with Asperger Syndrome, never leaving his room. This I could see was a burden to her and the reason she found herself in such a predicament. She was struggling to get things done simply because she was short of cash. She expected my fee to be much more than I actually charged her and I guess that came as a relief. I took her with me to the electrical supplier to purchase a couple of items we needed to complete the job and we chatted much along the way. She kept telling me that it was so good to be able to chat with a woman for a change. I assumed from that remark that she had no access to female company in her daily life and was finding it difficult. I had wondered why she followed my every move around the house but then I realised that she was simply seeking some company. I finished my work there and returned home for lunch. No sooner had I finished eating I received another request from a woman seeking help with her faulty lights, two of them were not working. I had planned on spending the afternoon at the pub but I went to the house and had the problems sorted out within the hour. It was around 3.30 before I finally set out for my walk to the pub. However, my next-door neighbour was out in her front garden and I found myself chatting with her for the next fifty minutes or so before finally setting off again. When I did arrive at the pub there were only a few people there. I bought my drinks and sat at a table facing the bar. I spent a couple of hours just sitting there watching people going to and fro. As people came in I was acknowledged by most of them as most people who go there know me either by sight or personally. I ended up chatting with many of them and then later in the evening we had the weekly pub quiz. I sat with some friends during that time but just before it was time to count the points to find out who had won I put on my coat, wished everyone goodnight and left! ‘I’ve had enough’, I said, ‘I’m going home’! Although I’d had a lovely afternoon, well late afternoon, and a lovely evening too, I just got bored with it all and had to leave. This is the sort of thing that happens to me sometimes and the reason why I lose interest and cannot be bothered at times as I have written about a day or so back. Occasionally, as the saying goes, my get up and go has got up and left!
Just a small post today, I haven’t felt up to writing much in the last few days as you will have gathered from my previous post and the main reason is that lately I have been finding it difficult to get interested in anything. It isn’t depression although being in this state of mind would indicate a depressed personality, a detour from my usual self, so I suppose looking at it that way I could be seen as somewhat depressed. However if it is depression it isn’t clinical depression. A simpler way to look at it is to say I have been in the valley rather than walking on top of the hill. Life does have its ups and downs but fortunately my ups are more frequent than my downs. Today marks the beginning of another week (although that day is really Sunday) and I am sure I shall be climbing up to the top of that hill. I have no idea what the week has in store, who does? I have nothing planned, nothing prepared, nowhere to go, nothing to do and all the time in the world to do it! At least I am feeling a lot better. Do I need a change of scenery? No. Do I need someone in my life? No. Do I need sympathy? No. Am I anxious? No. Do I really need anything? No. Do I need to be understood? Probably. Am I expecting that something will happen? Always!
Post script: Yesterday, apart from I think 1 or 2 matches to be played in the lower divisions, marked the end of the current football season. There was much jubilation for some and much sadness for others. I had kept an occasional eye on the television sports program but was doing something else on the computer. I had it in mind to visit the pub, the first time since Tuesday but I knew it would be packed with football supporters. I have nothing against football supporters of course but I don’t go to the pub to sit in such a noisy environment unless it happens to be a party so I left it until early evening before going. There were still many folk there watching the replays and commentaries but after an hour most of them left. I was sitting alone, although there were many people there whom I knew. I got talking to a guy who was visiting the town for a few days and we were getting along quite well. He passed a remark saying how glad he was that he had visited the pub and how much he enjoyed my company. I was just being me! A short while later another local guy came in with a girlfriend, not, he was quick to tell me, a romantic affair! Well I know he is married. She and I got along like a house on fire and we were having a ball. I think I might have caused her to suffer stomach pains after keeping her laughing for so long. I have a way with words as they say but I was only telling her about some of my escapades in life! I had a great time and in the process made two new friends. I am glad I went and now all that I’ve written in the above post can be put into the past and forgotten about. I hope the next time I lose interest in things will be a long time coming. Didn’t I say I was expecting something to happen?
Every once in a while this returns to me like an old friend who wants to keep me company. What is it? It’s my ‘cannot be bothered’ phase. I get these feelings every so often. Nothing is of interest and the things I do become boring. I don’t seem able to want to be involved in anything and I don’t know why. I am not depressed, in fact I am quite happy, it’s just that well, I cannot be bothered! I could fill my life with all sorts of things to keep me interested but find I want to simply lounge around with a bottle of wine and do nothing. Even work has become a chore. On Thursday, as I write this, I went out to do a small job in the morning and returned shortly after. I potted about the house aimlessly. I cooked the chicken that was in the fridge and went downstairs to spend a little time on the treadmill. Afterwards I played some guitar but got bored doing that. I had my lunch, played around on the computer, watched television and opened a bottle of wine. Thursday night at the pub is quiz night but I couldn’t be bothered going, besides which by that time I’d already had enough to drink! I had no plans for the rest of the week and didn’t really want any. I’ll snap out of it, I usually do but whilst I am feeling this way I don’t even think about such things. Maybe in a day or so things will be different, maybe they won’t, I’m not bothered. The last few posts were written a few days ago which is just as well I suppose else I’d not have been bothered writing them otherwise.