It sometimes takes a lot of effort to get E out of her chair if I wish to show her something, especially if that is something in the garden. If it is cold and even when it isn’t that cold she grumbles that she needs to put on a coat before stepping out. So it was on Sunday morning just before we had lunch. She tells me that she feels the cold, which she does and I have known that ever since we met but there are times when it isn’t as cold as she thinks it is. Nevertheless being as she is a bit stubborn there is no way she won’t wear a coat if she thinks it is cold. It’s just her way I suppose. I am far less troubled by a low temperature or a little wind though I have to confess I hate the wind when it is strong. Eventually I got her to go into the garden with me so that I could show her some of the flowers that have sprung up recently, crocus, snowdrops, daffodils, tulips and hyacinths to name a few. She is fond of flowers as I am too except that I prefer those that don’t grow from bulbs. I find it strange that for someone who professes to love these early flowers E seldom goes into the garden at this time of year. Anyway we spent some time out there and whilst there she asked about the bluebells I had been digging out on Saturday and where I had found them. As my readers will know digging out bluebells and montbretia took me months to do this time last year. I knew there would be some still to dig out this year and maybe that will be the same next year too but they are far fewer in number than when I first started. Even so there are still quite a few popping up occasionally. She called me over to a spot where she had noticed a couple more which I had obviously missed. I dug them out then she showed me more in another bed so I dug them out too! That is typical of E, she is quick to show me things I have missed or mistakes I have made. I laugh about it and say ‘Yes boss, I’ll do it right away boss’…….Ha, ha, ha.
Paul says that God “chose us in him” to emphasize that salvation depends totally on God. We are not saved because we deserve it, but because God is gracious and freely gives salvation. We did not influence God’s decision to save us; he saved us according to his plan. Thus there is no way to take credit for our salvation or to allow room for pride. The mystery of salvation originated in the timeless mind of God long before we existed. It is hard to understand how God could accept us. But because of Christ, we are holy and blameless in his sight. God chose us, and when we belong to him through Jesus Christ, God looks at us as if we had never sinned. All we can do is express our thanks for his wonderful love.
Who else can say that they are loved by God for His Spirit is in them? Our relationship with God is a two-way street, any and every relationship is. God does love you dear reader even if you do not love Him. Having a relationship with your Creator is a truly wonderful thing, better than any other relationship you may have in you life. You may not think you are worthy to have such a relationship or even think it possible but you would be wrong in thinking that. God’s arms are open wide to receive all who would call upon Him and He has made it possible, not you or by anything you do. To have a relationship with God is only possible because of what Jesus has done for you. He took upon Himself the sins of the world, even your sins, so that if you believe in Him and the One who sent Him you will be saved for all eternity and the relationship with God will have begun. Like any relationship it gets better the deeper it gets.
Life can be so hard sometimes but it can be so easy too. Things often seem more difficult or hard to deal with than they actually warrant. We ourselves can make life’s situations more difficult but if we could just stop and think things over we might find no problem really insurmountable. In every area of our lives this is so. However, it is one thing to overcome everyday situations we feel we could not previously handle and another when it involves others. Relationships with fellow humans can be fraught with difficulties especially where there is a clash of personalities, ideas, beliefs and so on but it shouldn’t be that way. It is a matter of how much we really love the other person, do we humble ourselves and put them first even if we know they are wrong? As Christians we are told to love one another, to love our neighbour (which is everyone else living on the planet) and in doing so honouring Christ. It doesn’t always work that way as anyone will tell you. I was watching a television program whilst waiting for another program to begin and it was called ‘Nightmare neighbour next door’. Many in the UK will probably have watched it themselves. The title is somewhat self-explanatory but in essence it reports relationships about people living next to each other who for one of many reasons just don’t get on with each other. Often the friction is one-sided and often it is based upon trivial concerns. As outsiders we can see the whole story and the stubbornness of people who simply cannot see their way to make an effort to resolve their differences. It is about love and putting others before ourselves but at the same time we shouldn’t simply let others take advantage. Being humble doesn’t mean being servile. Whilst watching one incident between two neighbours it seemed obvious that only one of them, a woman, was the source of the problems between them. The guy who lived next door had to put up with her unbelievably bad behaviour and for some time until one day he took complete control just using words. At this point I fell about with laughter at what he had said. Leaning over the wall which separated them he calmly said to her face ‘God you are ugly’ and then walked away. He had no further problems from that day forth. Now I wouldn’t advocate being verbally abusive to anyone but I had to admit he had made his hard life a lot easier with just a few words.
I very seldom if ever write about my personal relationships in my posts though I have been more open in my personal pages above regarding such things. It is hard for me to do so now. Life can be so difficult at times. Stressful situations, personal relationships, financial problems, poor health, irritating neighbours and many more can all have a detrimental effect upon us. As a Christian I am called to rise above these things yet I may still have to deal with them, in fact being a Christian does not mean I will never be affected by them or that they will somehow magically disappear, they won’t. Our difficulties arise when we don’t know how to deal with them. Fellow Christians will say things like, ‘Trust in The Lord’, ‘Lay all your burdens at His feet’, and they would be quite right but we have to meet Him half-way. We have to do our bit too. If we approach things in the right way and trust in The Lord’s guidance we will overcome. Sometimes though no matter what we do it doesn’t seem to work, at least as we thought it should and that is the point, not everything is going to work out the way we want it or expect it to do. Good friends give good advice. We’ve all heard the saying, ‘Some people will never change’, yet we often continue attempting to persuade them. This has been especially true in my own situation. My ex, ‘E’, is a prime example. Over the years (forty-four) I have known her she has been stubborn. We used to go to church together at one point but her heart wasn’t in it. She always blamed her mom for ‘forcing’ her to attend church when younger and that is why she says she doesn’t believe in God. Many times I have witnessed to her but the main way was by example, showing love, being tolerant and understanding and not putting her under pressure. Nothing worked and still doesn’t. I have to live with her and it can be so difficult. I could have left her, deserted her and left her to her own devices but because of my love and concern I persevered. I still persevere and will continue to do so until I die though she may never change. Aside from her beliefs just living together is sometimes problematical for me as I am very often not treated well by her even though I treat her with love and respect and we end up not speaking. Usually it is because of her stubborn refusal to apologise for her behaviour toward me when she is in the wrong. My friend tries to cheer me up and she tells me not to let E’s behaviour affect my own peace and happiness but that is so hard to do. I get knocked down but I get up again and again and again. I refuse to give in to her bad behaviour yet I have to forgive her. I always forgive her but it never seems to have any effect. Sometimes I feel at my wit’s end wondering if things between us will always be this way. Unless you live with a person like E you will never really know what it is like. Leaving her isn’t an option, she needs more love.
Tuesday was a very miserable day. The whole of this current week is forecasted as having poor weather, that is wet, windy and cold though not entirely cold. I had a couple of requests in the morning but they came to nothing and one of those nuisance calls most people are receiving these days regarding PPI (Payment Protection Insurance) claims. I was busy doing something on my computer when that call came in and I was caught off-guard thinking it might be a request for my electrical services. I glanced at the callers number and mistakenly thought it was someone living in the next town whose telephone prefix would be 01695 whereas in fact it was prefixed 0161. That prefix is for Manchester a city more than forty miles away and where I have no known contacts either for business or for personal reasons. It was the first three digits that threw me but I was not concentrating. A young girl began with a welcoming message and I had a little difficulty in stopping her as almost immediately I realised my error. I told her that I have never taken out a payment protection plan of any kind in the past and she then tried to persuade me otherwise. Too late! I had put down the receiver.
Most annoying are these cold calls but even more annoying that I should have been caught off-guard. What is particularly annoying is the fact that this company ( a law firm specialising in claims) thinks I have an outstanding claim of some sort. I haven’t. Where they get this information I am not sure but it only takes one error by someone who has not closed any case files and removed them from their system. As these companies exchange file data it means anything I have been involved in, even though it may have been resolved many years ago, is still on somebody’s books.
Although I had no electrical work to do on Tuesday I didn’t do any work at home either. Aside from the fact that we are still waiting for the delivery of a new cooker extractor hood which is holding back the kitchen project I really didn’t want to be working on anything anyway. Even working in the garden was not an option because of the lousy weather. My heart wasn’t in it and that is because my relationship with E has turned a little sour once again. It is a sad affair that keeps rearing its ugly head every now and then. I guess I should have left years ago but I know I would have suffered more had I done so. I am not the sort of person who gives up in the face of difficulty and besides which I love E dearly.
I have not been enjoying the best of health lately due to the problems I have been experiencing with mouth abscesses and toothache. I have been feeling run-down and according to my dentist it was probably due to my condition. The feelings are similar to those of ‘flu. Nevertheless I have soldiered on as best I can and it got better as the days passed by. I write this on Friday evening after a day feeling weary from working in the morning and having to endure the pain of toothache. Until the antibiotics complete their work I shan’t be free of pain completely so I have resorted to taking paracetamol tablets for the time being though I try not to take medications if I can avoid it. Sometimes the pain is too great though isn’t it? I took E out to a late lunch in our local pub and had a lovely time together chatting about this and that. I love company and being able to speak to others but over the last few months I have not had that privilege except at work. We drove to the vehicle service station later to have that exhaust box fitted that I mentioned in my previous post. We had a great time there too! E and I hadn’t been talking for some time but we finally sorted out the problems between us. It is hard not speaking to someone you love and have been with for over forty years. Anyway life is now looking good again and already we are planning to work together on the patio project, the construction of the flowerbed. E is limited in what she can do to assist but I know she will want to render that assistance anyway. Just the fact that she will be there will be an encouragement. According to the weather forecast for the next four days we expect dry and sunny days, ideal for setting concrete and laying bricks. I hope I don’t overdo things, I am sure I won’t and hopefully I will be as right as rain again soon. I felt better than I did yesterday.
Wednesday afternoon and it is raining. The day started very bright and sunny and remained that way until a little before eleven o’clock. It was expected though and somewhat welcomed by myself. I sat out on the patio after breakfast with a cup of coffee and something to read, actually my Bible. Yes, I am reading it through yet again after finishing reading it through a couple of months ago. I am now about to read the Book of Numbers. This is not however the subject of my post. I sat out there for quite some time before returning indoors as it was starting to get noticeably cooler once the clouds rolled in. I spent the rest of the day indoors though I could have gone for a walk if only to relieve the boredom. I had no electrical work and nothing I wanted to do inside the house even though there are things I could be doing. My heart simply wasn’t in it. I occupied my time cooking, playing guitar, doing things on my computer like writing this post, watching a little television and reading and general household chores. Although I am very domesticated life spent totally at home would bore the socks off me! It was nice to look out at the rain whilst knowing that I didn’t have to go out in it. It was raining outside but it has been raining inside too, inside my heart. My personal life has been upset because the relationship I have with E is not what it was. For so long I have been taken for granted, shown little respect on occasion and often ignored. We haven’t spoken since the start of February because I reached a breaking point after once more being snapped at. Many times I have been badly treated but made the effort to heal the rift and forgive. I always forgive but that doesn’t mean I have to put up with ill-treatment and so I had to back-off. How long it will take before E repents and apologises for her behaviour is not known but I wait patiently. I like the rain but that falling in my heart takes a little more getting used to. I am discovering though that I am getting used to it, I don’t really have a choice.
Now I don’t usually work on a Sunday unless someone has an emergency of sorts but late on Sunday morning a lady called me to ask if I could help her with an electrical problem that continued to trip out the lighting supply. At that stage the remainder of the household installation was unaffected but a possible leakage current on the lighting circuit could change that situation. Evidently a lamp had broken in its holder which left its metal base firmly stuck. Furthermore the lighting switch didn’t seem to be working properly either. I told her how to remove the broken lamp base safely which she did but the faulty switch still needed replacing. I would have to go there, replace it and check everything was in order if she agreed. She asked that I should go but that she was just about to go to work. She works as a nurse at the local hospital. However I could go there at two o’clock when a neighbour would be there to let me in (and pay me). I agreed and she thanked me, going on to say that she was new to domestic problems such as these as her husband usually took care of them. It seems her husband had recently left her and the two children of ten and twelve years, though when I called they were both with their father at his house wherever that was. She was the third woman in the last few days, in fact since last Monday, to have told me that her husband had absconded. It seems to be a regular thing hereabouts for over the last couple of years I have come across quite a number of women in the same situation, four of them in this month alone! A sign of the times I suppose. Had the lady been at home when I called she might have told me the reason for their separation as many of them do. Perhaps it helps them to cope with the situation when they can speak about it with others. It is such a shame nevertheless. I did her job in about ten minutes and was back home within the hour. I am wondering just how many more women are going to call me for help because their husbands have left the home. The neighbour was an elderly gentleman who was quite surprised to see a female electrician attend to the job and he told me that he and the lady I had been working for would be adding me to their list of people to call when they want a job doing. That was nice.
Apart from working for a short time on Saturday morning the long weekend was pretty much a boring affair. The weather on Saturday was appalling, wet and windy for the most part and I don’t remember if I saw that Sun even once! Sunday was a little better, more so toward the end of the day and Monday morning I was awakened to bright blue skies. As I write this on Monday morning I have no plans for the day though I might go for a walk later. However, because it is a national holiday most places will be filled with people, especially in town. I therefore usually avoid town for that reason, preferring a walk along the seafront instead. I have stopped all work at home until further notice except for those jobs that are emergencies or maintenance, like mowing the lawn for instance. I doubt E could mow the lawn nowadays with her health problems. With the way I am getting treated by E lately though I have lost all interest and that really goes against the grain because I like working at home and getting things done. I feel I am not appreciated most of the time. It is such a shame as there are jobs I’d like to be doing in order to improve the interior of the house, refurbishing the central heating, a couple of bedrooms and other things. Everything I do at home is funded by myself, E makes no financial contribution simply because she cannot afford it. At the moment all my expendable income is getting saved except where I want to treat myself now and then, which isn’t often at all! My electrical work keeps me happy and helps fund all my projects. I will be glad to get back to it if and when I get requests. As I look out of my front room window I see the flag blowing in the wind and I am hoping the wind will drop a little so that being outside is more enjoyable, then I might take that walk.
There’s a song in there somewhere……but it isn’t about a song. E and I have not been speaking now for seven weeks. It is all about her stubborn heart but I am not saying more than that just now. It means all of my time is now spent alone, not that this is anything new for over the last few years I have found myself in this position quite often. At the moment I just think she doesn’t care. I on the other hand do care but this time I am not rushing in to smooth things over as I normally have done in the past, this time I refuse to give in to her indifference. I am not at fault as usual but it seems that makes no difference. Everything is well for me as long as I have work to do but I seldom work every day. That means I get bored unless I make an effort to stay occupied. I take walks when the weather allows and go shopping sometimes. I took a walk on Wednesday in order to make a deposit in my bank and took a roundabout route to kill time. I had been dressed for work during the morning in case I received a request but none came in so in the afternoon I got changed and headed off out. After visiting the bank I continued my walk but got stopped within a hundred metres at the railway level-crossing. I could have crossed the road and taken the underpass at the station but it was such a sunny day and I was in no hurry to get anywhere. I got chatting to an elderly lady whilst we waited for the trains to come and go then we crossed over and chatted some more before we went our separate ways. I then met the only other female electrician I know hereabouts who was just about to enter a shop where I presume she was either working or giving an estimate. We didn’t talk except to say hello then I carried on with my walk. I was wondering rather aimlessly for a while before deciding to go to the pub and have a very late lunch. I hadn’t eaten for eight hours since breakfast. This time the pub was rather empty. I sat alone and had my meal but was greeted by a couple of guys I know, one of whom stopped to chat for a few minutes. I think he fancies me to be perfectly truthful for he never leaves me alone whenever I visit the pub. I was allowed to continue with my meal. Another guy came in and sat at the next table to have a meal and in the meantime was drinking a pint of beer. He went to the toilet and returned a minute later looking as if he was about to drop off to sleep when he seated himself at his table. I asked if he was alright and he asked why I was asking. I said that he looked a little tired and I thought he was about to fall asleep. I just wanted to make sure he was OK. He thanked me and told me he was fine then he asked me if I was alone. I told him that whilst in the pub I was. That gave him the impression that I was in a relationship and he said no more. I had an idea he was high on something but not alcohol for his pupils were a little dilated. Maybe he was simply tired. I didn’t stay long after that and returned home. E had been out all afternoon with her mom and she returned an hour later.
On August 8th last year and at other times, April 19th 2013 for instance, I posted an article concerning my relationship with E and how she treats me at times. Three weeks ago on Sunday last (Feb 1st) she was at it again, snapping at me for absolutely no reason. I have endured this treatment on and off for some years now always thinking that it will get better and usually it does but only if it is me who breaks the ice so to speak. If it was my fault I could understand her attitude but it is never my fault that she snaps at me and we end up not speaking. Like I said it is I who has to break the ice even though I am not at fault, she simply will never apologise when she is wrong. Do I deserve such treatment? I don’t think so. I only persevere because I love her. People tell me that I should leave, friends say I shouldn’t let her ways interfere with my happiness and that I should just accept her the way she is. That is absolutely true and that is exactly what I have been doing these past 40 something years! It is hard living with someone who is difficult to get along with some of the time and who seems ungrateful toward me considering all that I do for her. I end up retiring from her company in case I am snapped at again, consequently we don’t speak. Why am I telling you this? Well one, it is good to get things off your chest and two, so that you don’t think everything is a bed of roses in life, especially my life! It will get better, it can’t get worse so I bide my time and wait it out yet again.
I had a lazy weekend for a change, did nothing, no electrical work or home project work. I had a feeling come over me, one that I sometimes get now and then, I just couldn’t be bothered! Bone idleness took control of me for the weekend quite deliberately I have to confess. In simple terms I just wanted a rest. By Friday evening I was already taking requests for electrical work ready in the week ahead. A few days ago I popped next door at the request of my neighbour to help her with a minor problem. Whilst talking she mentioned how industrious I am in doing all the work I have been doing in the house and garden. She said I should take things easy and not overdo it. Wind the clock back twenty years and I received the same advise from my mother! Hard work never killed anyone but I do take things easy now and then, really. So it was I arose late on Saturday morning and decided that I would take a well-earned break from work. By Monday, which was yesterday, I was back to my normal self and working as hard as I normally do. Conditions at home have not improved, my relationship with E has hit an all-time low and we don’t speak. I try to keep my thoughts concentrated on other things but without E’s companionship I really don’t have anything. Once I would drown my sorrows in the pub and forget my problems but I no longer drink and I see the futility in doing so. The basic problem I have is that without E I am lonely. Nothing changes as when we were married that was my problem for more than fifteen years of that marriage! Perhaps my future on this planet holds something better for me and I live in hope.
Who really cares or gives a damn
About this girl and who I am?
Who reaches out with loving arms
Embracing me with grace and charm?
Who takes the time to be a friend
When broken hearts are on the mend?
Who’ll telephone to say hello
And all my troubles wants to know?
Who’ll be there when I need them most
When all seems hopeless and a loss?
Who will support me when I’m down
And make me smile and lose my frown?
Who’ll be there when my troubles show
Supporting me when others go?
Who’ll help me when my heart is sad
Rejoicing when I’m feeling glad?
Who’ll love me to the bitter end
And always be a loving friend?
I did next to nothing on Tuesday neither electrical work or work at home though I could have spent some time in the garden. The reason I didn’t was because I am at a low ebb. E and I are not speaking again. Basically she refused to answer a question I had put to her even though the question had been initially asked in innocence and without intent. It wasn’t so much that she wouldn’t speak on the subject but more the way I was blanked and given no explanation at all. I should know better than to ask certain things having known her for more than forty years. Her refusal to simply chat about any subject and engage in an intelligent conversation has always been beyond her and over the years we were married that left me with no-one to speak with. She wouldn’t speak to me if the television was on or her favourite program was scheduled and during the latter half of the marriage it drove me crazy because she wouldn’t speak about the issues we had with the marriage and it drove us apart. I ended up in a loveless marriage and was lonely for many years. I digress. Most of this is already recorded in my pages above and it doesn’t serve to keep going over what is past but just to give a broad insight to new readers I mention it. The crux of the matter is I am simply keeping out of her way for the time being. I don’t suffer from depression because I am not clinically affected but neither do I dwell on things also. I just feel at a low ebb, not wanting to be bothered with anything other than my work until things return to some semblance of normality. No dining out then and a temporary cessation of anything to do with home, work-wise that is. It is a sad state of affairs I know but I’ve been through it all many times over the last few years and don’t expect it to last. At least the day gave me the opportunity to rest after the full day I had on Monday though I would have much preferred to have been at work.
During the last couple of weeks we have had The Women’s British Open Golf Championships being held at Royal Birkdale Golf Club, about a half-mile up the main road. The event is being sponsored by Ricoh, a Japanese multinational imaging and electronics company. I have to admit not knowing that until I checked them out on a search engine. Personally I don’t have much interest in golf but I do watch it in part on the television occasionally. Had I been an ardent follower I would be living in just the right place as in fact I am doing here on the west coast for there are many golf courses in the area, a golfer’s dream. Personally I would never go to an event to watch the game, especially if it was only for one day in a competition that lasts for several days. My eldest son it seems isn’t that fussy. I didn’t know he was interested in golf, though his wife may be but I think it was more of a casual visit to the event, this one day, rather than him wishing to go every day to see as much as he could. On Thursday morning he arrived with his wife at our house so that he could leave his car here all day. I had gone to work a half-hour before they arrived so didn’t see them. E ferried them up the road in her car and returned home. I was back home myself an hour later. I chose not to do any more work in the garden as the weather was too warm and I wanted a rest in any case as the following day, Friday, E and I were collecting a hire-van to transport our youngest son’s furniture up to his new house in Manchester, about 50 miles away. We would be kept busy loading and unloading for a couple of hours, pretty tiring work. Later in the afternoon, actually it was well after six o’clock, E collected our eldest son and his wife on her way back home from doing the shopping with her mum and they picked up their car and drove off home to her parents house about three miles away where they have been living for the past two years. Now we hardly ever see them but whenever we do they are always in a rush to go elsewhere or have an excuse to leave early and never stay long. This time they were alone as their little girl, our granddaughter, was being looked after by her nan so they could have stopped for a while to chat. It appears that they can find the time for watching golf all day long though. It is hard sometimes being a parent and being treated this way.
It was such a lovely day yet again on Tuesday and E and I were to collect her new car at some point in the afternoon then drive off somewhere to dine. I had no electrical work to do and in any case would not have scheduled any for the whole day. As E so succinctly put it when she came down for breakfast and saw that I wasn’t dressed for work and said, ‘I see you have your ‘no intention’ gear on’. It’s a phrase I have often used in the past when I have no desire to do any work and dress accordingly. We hadn’t received a call from the dealership by noon so I suggested E call them to check. She was told that we could collect the car around 1.15 and we duly arrived shortly before then. After signing much paperwork and being shown the basic controls we finally were able to drive away leaving E’s old car standing on the forecourt to await its fate. We drove 15 miles to a restaurant/pub/motel in the village of Newburgh (pronounced Newburra), a place we have been to on a number of occasions previously. Not to our surprise the place was almost completely deserted, partly due to our late arrival at around three o’clock. The meal was as usual splendid and not expensive in the least considering we both had two courses and a drink each. We headed back home but when almost there E took a detour to see our eldest son who lives with his wife’s parents. E needed a few miles of driving to get used to the controls, not least of all the manual gearbox as her old car had a semi-automatic box. She soon got to grips with it though. There is an amazing array of gizmos built into this vehicle as standard equipment, things like a Sat-Nav, a hands-free system for the phone, remote controlledwing mirrors, refrigerated air-conditioning with a cool box to stow drinks or food in and many other handy features. We arrived at the house and E rang the doorbell whilst I remained seated in the car as she said she wouldn’t be long. E was let inside by our son’s father-in-law who looked towards myself sitting in the car but said absolutely nothing before closing the door. I waited for about a minute or so then E reappeared holding a couple of carrier bags containing some of our granddaughters toys, those she has grown out of. Our son came over but didn’t say much either and generally spoke with E about the car. Then his mother-in-law came out with our granddaughter but remained at a distance, neither wanting to come closer and I felt it was because I was present for I am sure they would have done had I not been there. Eventually our son went over and brought the little one over whilst his mother-in-law remained afar. I said hello to my granddaughter and she said something in return but continued to the rear of the car out of sight. She didn’t stay long and she returned indoors with her ‘nanna’. Her ‘grandpa’ made no effort to come and look at the car and he remained inside. Our son chatted for a few more minutes then went back inside too after we drove off homeward. Whilst driving home along the local coast road I spoke to E about the affair and told her that I had felt very uncomfortable whilst being at their house because I had been treated as if I had leprosy. Now I know this is an experience felt by many others who have transitioned and even those who haven’t but it still hurts to be treated the way I am. It is a sad state of affairs when my own granddaughter is a little apprehensive in approaching me. When this happened some time ago on one of our son’s rare and very short visits he explained that she simply didn’t know me enough to feel comfortable with me as she would if I were a complete stranger. I replied that is due to the fact that she is almost never allowed to visit for any length of time. Even E hardly gets to see her but does see her occasionally at the supermarket. I asked E how she would feel if she was given the same treatment as me and she had to admit she would feel hurt too. What I find especially hurtful is that my son, his wife and her parents are all supposed to be my brothers and sisters in Christ. How can they go to church and praise God with un-repented sin dwelling in their hearts? Whenever I think on such things I am reminded of these verses in Scripture:
You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written: ‘“As surely as I live,” says the Lord, “Every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.”’ So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.
I may be an outcast from my own family but the problem resides with them.